Up until the late-1990s, if you missed something on television then it was unlikely you were going to see it again any time soon. Even if you had - and I understand younger readers' horror at this proposition - managed to position yourself in front of your television at a set time, you would need a hardy memory to remember it over the years. Naturally, you could have recorded it onto a video tape, but this wasn't a luxury many of us took advantage of regularly. And, of course, there was always the likelihood that you would record over it with something else - most commonly an entry from the James Bond franchise.

But what does this mean? Well, aside from a plethora of home recordings of Live and Let Die haunting many an attic, it means that many television programmes became ephemera as soon as the end credits rolled. At least, it did until the dawn of the internet. The opportunities of the information superhighway weren't entirely clear at its outset, but everyone and their dog knew it would be an amazing adventure. And, once the initial dalliances in online porn and bizarre, early memes had quickly been exhausted, it was revealed that nearly everything else could be found online. Obscure, forgotten and hard to get hold of television was also there.

It's a situation which, just as with every other aspect of the web, has changed beyond all recognition since those early days of Ask Jeeves, Altavista and the screeching, anguished tones of a dial-up modem. Luckily, I managed to dip my toe into the world of obscure and, at the time, hard to get hold of television early on. Therefore, I'm going to take a quick look at how the internet has given us access to an almost obscene amount of obscure and archived television.

Tape Trading in the Early Days

Connecting to the internet in the early days was far from the seamless experience we're blessed with today. Dial-up modems had to, quite literally, dial-up telephone networks and then make a series of excruciating squealing noises known as a handshake. Once the connection was established, data could start being received and sent. It took, from memory, just over a minute from hitting the dial button to actually getting online. If you were lucky. Anyway, it was mildly time consuming, but it was nothing compared to the snail-like download speeds on offer. With a massive amount of pride, I was able to, in the year 2000, boast an average download speed of 4.5kb per second. Most of my peers could only rustle up 3.5kb per second, so I felt like a king. But, ultimately, it made little difference. Downloading took FOREVER.

A three-minute pop song would, on average, take around 20 minutes to download with the speeds on offer in the UK at the start of the Millennium. Please note, I didn't once carry out an illegal download on Napster like an excitable pirate - all details come from my more dubious friends. Anyway, downloading a three-minute song was just about tolerable. But downloading any sort of video took a lifetime. Sure, there were the occasional offerings of RealMedia files to download which weren't overly large, but they were atrocious. Watching these highly compressed videos - which looked abysmal even shrunk down into RealPlayer's miniscule display - was a thankless task. All the digital revolution provided in those early days was a series of headaches brought on from squinting at blocky videos.

Thankfully, the analogue world was still alive and brought some level of respite. And it was all down to VHS tapes. Since the dawn of home recording in the late-1970s, an underground network of tape trading had been active. It was a scene which proved most popular amongst fans of Doctor Who, with all manner of deals taking place round the back of convention halls for third generation copies of The Deadly Assassin. In the year 2000, almost every home in the UK (and indeed around the world) still had a VHS player in their lounge. Tape trading, however, required contacts and connections. These assets weren't readily available in "the real world" but the internet brought these trading circles into the comfort of our homes.

But let's just rewind a second. It's Friday 11th November 1994 and I'm watching what, unbeknownst to myself, will be the last ever episode of Knightmare. I later learn that it's been cancelled as, according to ITV executives, children's television was now being watched mostly by younger children. No, it doesn't make any sense, but that's the politics of television for you. Anyway, the years passed by and I regularly reminisced with my friends (or late at night in my head) about the exploits of Treguard et al. There was no way that I would ever forget it, but it was unlikely that I would ever see it again. It was repeated on The Sci-Fi Channel in 1995, but I didn't have satellite television then. Anyway, in 1999, we got THE INTERNET (it was always capitalised back then) and I decided to see if there was anything online about Knightmare. And there was, a whole website dedicated to it (it's still going at knightmare.com)

The website was packed full of Knightmare trivia and, amazingly, some clips of the series which could be streamed. These were, as mentioned above, typically late 1990s RealPlayer standard and didn't make for the easiest of watches. But, tantalisingly, there was also a message board on the website. And people were trading tapes of Knightmare. I didn't have anything to trade, but one of the traders was happy to sell me tapes of the series. I went for the complete series four and, a week or so later, two VHS tapes turned up containing third generation copies of Knightmare. It cost me, I think, about £12 and the rush of nostalgia was intense. And it wouldn't have happened without the internet. It was still, with hindsight, a rather slow process and the picture quality - regularly shifting from colour to black and white - was poor. But it was an exciting start and it was only going to get better.

The Emergence of Torrents, YouTube and Streaming

I wasn't an avid tape trader in those early days, but I do remember that Ebay provided another shot in the arm for obtaining rare slices of television. Again, it was thanks to VHS tapes. All manner of television programmes were popping up in the listings and, assuming they weren't pulled due to copyright reasons, you could take your pick of some real gems. I remember, around late 2003, purchasing a copy of some studio sessions for The Young Ones. It was the kind of footage that would have previously been impossible to get hold of. But here it was. All thanks to a seller in, well, I can't remember, but probably somewhere like Saffron Walden But, by this point, broadband was starting to take off in the UK and this was creating exciting opportunities.

Torrents were, in 2003, something that most people associated with water. But, online, people were eulogising digital torrents as the next big thing in file-sharing. These torrents allowed files to be shared rapidly by multiple users known as seeders. And, with internet speeds being significantly upgraded, the ability to transfer large files was becoming easier and quicker. Accordingly, torrents were the perfect solution for sharing digital copies of television programmes. This led to member-only torrent sites such as UK Nova forming and allowing members to freely offer up their collections of television programmes.

UK Nova launched in 2003 and ran until 2012 when it was finally closed for good due to crushing legal issues relating to copyright. It was an early poster boy for this world of illicit (no matter how much you dress it up, it's still illegal) sharing and, nearly a decade on, people still talk about it in hushed tones. The wealth of material on offer was astonishing. And it wasn't just the well-known, big hitters that were available. Some painfully obscure material was on offer. 1960s sitcoms jostled alongside 1980s post-apocalyptic dramas and children's programmes were plentiful. It was a TV anorak's dream. And, thankfully, its legacy lives on. A whole host of similar members-only sites have appeared in the last decade, you just need to know where to look. And be lucky enough to get an invite.

Perhaps the biggest game changer in the way we access old television online was delivered when YouTube became a thing. With internet speeds rapidly increasing (almost by the day) it was now viable to provide seamless viewing experiences online. And, best of all, anyone could upload to YouTube. This coincided with a small boom in sales of VHS/DVD combi machines and meant that many people were digitising their old video collections. And this led to many archive programmes being uploaded to YouTube, a practice which continues today. In many cases, copyright is a major stumbling block in these situations. But, luckily, the British broadcasters don't seem too bothered about obscure, uncommercial content being uploaded - at the worst they'll slap an advert at the start of it to monetise it. Don't try uploading something that has already had a commercial release, though, as the algorithms will detect this and instantly disable the video.

The success of YouTube demonstrated the public appetite for streaming and paved the way for sites such as Netflix and Amazon Prime Video to launch. These platforms, however, are very different to YouTube. Gone are the user uploads and, in their place, are massive commercial interests. You won't find any BBC continuity or old ITV news reports here. Instead, their archived television sections mostly contain programmes you have already owned on both VHS and DVD. BritBox, after an uninspiring launch, has become more interesting with available content including, for example, the very first episodes of Puddle Lane and Murphy's Mob. The BBC's iPlayer is also to be applauded for containing some obscure gems - take a look at these amazing episodes of Just Another Day - amongst the more contemporary programming.

Final Thoughts

The truth is that obscure television is obscure for a reason: not that many people are interested in it. The readers of Curious British Telly may get highly excited over the prospects of watching episodes of Ragtime from 1973, but the rest of the population don't. They want quick and easy access to programmes such as Fawlty Towers, Absolutely Fabulous and Downton Abbey. And it's a good thing they do - a world full of television anoraks would be dreadfully one note. Luckily, from the earliest days of tape trading through to torrents and culminating in our holy land of YouTube, we have been catered for and, quite frankly, spoiled. This is mostly thanks to the technological achievements of the internet, but this has been underpinned by human connections.

The internet has always thrived upon human connections and its these interactions which have allowed so much material to make its way online. Communities, such as UK Nova, have been formed and granted users to come together and share their archives. Indeed, through running this blog, I've had communications from numerous people kindly wanting to share footage from programmes which meet the Curious British Telly criteria. If it wasn't for these connections then this blog would probably a tenth of the size it is. Some may say that would be a more preferable situation, but that's by the by. The fact that we can log on to the internet and, within seconds, be viewing an episode of Sebastian the Incredible Dog would have been unthinkable 20 years ago. But now it's reality.

Most of this article is based upon my own experiences, so can't be classed as an absolute history on the way the internet has helped to bring obscure television online. Therefore, I would love to hear about your own experiences in tracking down and digesting archive material online. Please leave a comment below!

Infidelity is a dangerous art to practice and one that comes pre-loaded with a weapons-grade risk. Nonetheless, it’s a perennial indulgence that mankind has been keen to nourish. A common joke, in the British Isles, is for an individual to jest that they will never stray from their partner within their post code. The rather feeble humour of this remark is that there’s less chance of being caught. Admittedly, there’s a logic what with the increase in distance reducing any visibility to the unknowing partner. Extend this to several postcodes and a national border and it should be ridiculously easy. But even with this on their side it’s far from easy for Dogfood Dan and the Carmarthen Cowboy.

Dan Milton (Malcolm Storry) and Aubrey Owen (Peter Blake) are a pair of dog food carrying lorry drivers who work for Bona Fido and Doggy Dins respectively. Meeting, quite by chance, at the Coronation Café, Dan and Aubrey quickly strike up a conversation about their similar loads before discussing their own lives. Dan, better known as Dogfood Dan, hails from Hull where he’s married to Helen (Elizabeth Mickery) and mostly sups ale while watching Rugby League. Aubrey aka the Carmarthen Cowboy resides in Carmarthen with his wife Gwyneth (Arbel Jones) and dreams of becoming a Mastermind champion.

Thanks to some wonderful synchronicity, Dan hauls dog food to Carmarthen on exactly the same day that Aubrey delivers dog food to Hull. It’s a relatively harmless coincidence, but one that the pair plan to elevate to something more exciting. Tipping each other off on the best places to meet women in their home towns, Dan and Aubrey head out to start affairs. And, with startling ease, they each embark on one almost instantly. The only problem is that, unbeknownst to them, it’s with each other’s wife. So, whilst Dan is supping ale with Myfanwy aka Gwyneth and boasting about the abnormal loads he carries, Aubrey – under the guise of Labour MP Aneurin - is enjoying Beef Stroganoff with Helen. But just how far will these affairs go?

Dogfood Dan trundled onto BBC2 in February 1988 with the six episodes going out on Thursday evenings at 9pm. But this wasn’t the first the world had seen of the series. Writer David Nobbs had previously debuted the Dogfood Dan universe in 1982 as a one-off installment of ITV’s anthology series Playhouse. Starring as the titular characters in that incarnation were David Daker and Gareth Thomas. Neither actor made the transition to the BBC series, but much of the dialogue carried over verbatim. Alan J.W. Bell, the BBC’s in-residence expert of directing comedy, was called for to direct and produce the episodes, none of which were repeated.

With a name enshrined in the annals of British television history, thanks alone to The Fall and Rise of Reginald Perrin, David Nobbs’ creations always demand investigation. And Dogfood Dan takes a simple, yet delightfully structured concept which promises plenty of potential. Slotting together deception with an underlying, unseen irony, Dogfood Dan has a pleasing, traditional core which hooks the viewer in. Nobbs also uses the situation to provide plenty of discussion and philosophy on the nature of relationships. Discussions which are expertly conveyed through the deep thinking of Aubrey and the more direct approach of Dan.

Aubrey and Dan, both played fantastically by Peter Blake and Malcolm Storry, may be in the same profession, but they are vastly different characters. And Nobbs uses this to foster plenty of comedy. Whereas Aubrey will quote Shakespeare as he muses on the futility of relationships, Dan’s contributions are mostly suited to the touchline of a Rugby League match – his most articulate phrase being the recurring “By the cringe!” These differences make for a pleasing bonhomie and their weekly catch ups in the transport café are a highlight of the series, all homespun philosophy and disparaging digs at the partners of those they are wooing.

Dogfood Dan has a strong footing to get started, but how does it unfold over its six episodes. Well, the fantastic cast – including the equally deceptive and culpable Elizabeth Mickery and Arbel Jones (with her intense, detailed gossiping about the mundane) – and gentle, warming humour of Nobbs just about carries it through. But the main criticism to level at Dogfood Dan is its formulaic nature. The majority of episodes follow a similar routine of transport café to affair section to home life and repeat. This soon becomes grating, with miniscule advances in plot and similar jokes being recycled, and it’s only in the final two episodes that the setup changes in any way.

The 1982 Playhouse version removes much of this criticism thanks to its much reduced running time. It also benefits from a more delicious ending where all four guilty parties are plunged together. The BBC series, meanwhile, decides to instead maintain a status quo for the relatively innocent affairs. It’s far from a condemnation of infidelity, but Nobbs does, at least, give the control and upper hand to the female characters to avoid any male-dominated manipulation. And the theme tune, written by Richard Stilgoe and sung by Lonnie Donegan, is a soaring piece of brilliance. In conclusion, as a weekly view rather than a binge watch, Dogfood Dan is an inoffensive, yet likable sitcom. You may find yourself wanting to stray, but there are enough gentle smiles to keep you faithful.

G Neil Martin celebrates one of TV comedy’s finest double albums

It ended, in a way that didn’t really befit it at all, in a dusky power station, full of sinuous pipes, and shadows and angry gas and steam. As if HR Giger had been brought in to design satire. Four people - three men, one woman - and one monumental double entendre.

Series four of Not The Nine O’Clock News is the apogee of the series’ run. Broadcast in 1982, it led to the final of the NOT albums - this time, a double album (“Not The Double Album”, proper gatefold and all) which included a compilation of the best sketches and songs from series four on one disc and the group’s live Drury Lane show on the other. The CDs, which came later, were designed as two little 33 1/3 LPs. It is probably the greatest comedy double LP based on a sketch show ever produced.

Not A Lengthy History

Not The Nine O’Clock News occupies that rare category of show: the successful TV satire sketch show, a remarkably select and exclusive club. In the UK, you can tally TW-3, Spitting Image, Carrott’s Lib, Have I Got News For You and Not. Extend this to radio and you have Weekending, The Now Show and The News Quiz. There are others, of course,  but they are johnny come latelies compared to the enduring behemoths of the five here. Not The Nine O’Clock News was the second of the UK’s TV satire shows to demonstrate a longevity and quality which secured its place in comedy history. 

First broadcast in 1979 and beset with teething problems of timing, cast, quality and schedules, serendipity was the midwife of its success. Only one cast member survived the first edition that was never broadcast but scheduled to be broadcast on 2nd April (Rowan Atkinson); one and a half if you include Chris Langham who was retained in the “second” (i.e. the proper, first) series but dropped for the others. The first episode’s cast included Chris Emmett, Christopher Godwin, John Gorman, Chris Langham, Jonathan Hyde and Robert Llewelyn, and was to be introduced by John Cleese as Basil Fawlty bemoaning the fact that a technician’s strike had sabotaged Towers’s production and replacement tat was to appear in its place (this can be viewed on YouTube).

The expected broadcast date clashed with the calling of the 1979 General Election and so the episode was jettisoned. As John Lloyd, Not’s co-producer with an “insane, young” (according to Lloyd) television Current Affairs producer Sean Hardie, remarked in The Oldie (January 2020), “it was the second series that aired first because the first one, which only lasted one episode, was cancelled just before transmission”. This was a serendipitous gift because it allowed Lloyd and Hardie to regroup and re-think the cast and the show. 

It was originally titled Sacred Cows and Lloyd and Hardie were tasked with a show mocking political correctness (not politics). This suggestion was quickly shown the door as Lloyd and Hardie went about assembling the cast with Atkinson as its omphalos, the “magically gifted, rubbery-faced electronic engineer as the centrepiece of our enterprise and set about surrounding him with what his agent dubbed ‘lesser talents’” (Lloyd). One of these ‘lesser talents’ was to include Victoria Wood, who turned down the opportunity to occupy the role subsequently occupied by Pamela Stephenson. Alison Steadman and Susan George turned them down, too. Langham was retained from the aborted first edition and was joined by Mel Smith (“more ticket tout or a minicab driver than an actor”, sick of his directing work at the Royal Court) and Griff Rhys Jones (a co-performer with Lloyd in the 1973 Footlights Revue, and a then-radio producer at the BBC). 

After this chaotic beginning, the show went to four successful series, three comedy compilation albums, a live stage show, three books and two desk diaries. A BAFTA, a Montreux Rose and an Emmy followed. It made the careers of all of its stars, that much is known. Less well-known, but known to those in the know, is the roster of comedy writing talent that created the show. It was phenomenal and included Nigel Planer, Guy Jenkin, Colin Gilbert, Stephen Fry, Colin Bostock-Smith, Andy Hamilton, Ian Brown, Clive Anderson, David Renwick, Andrew Marshall, Dick Fiddy, Alastair Beaton and Richard Curtis (Atkinson’s stage performing partner).

And, yes, it is rather gent-heavy. Howard Goodall took on the role of Musical Director and was supported by Pete Brewis and Nic Rowley (more gents). Bill Wilson (series one and two - seven episodes; series three - eight episodes) and Geoff Posner produced (series four, 1982; six episodes). Gents, again.

The Album, The Sketches, The Songs

Which brings us to The Memory Kinda Lingers. The roll-call of sketches, now classic sketches, in this release is formidable and this is even before we appreciate the sumptuous terpsichorean valediction that is the oral sex tribute at the end of the very last show (of which, more soon).  If this were a Spinal Tap analogy, the album is where the Dobly is set to 11.  The first two albums (Not The Nine O'Clock News from 1980 and Hedgehog Sandwich from 1981, the cassette version of which was reviewed by Ben in the second issue of Curious British Telly) featured songs and sketches that are amongst the best and cleverest in comedy - Gerald the Gorilla (David Bloody Attenborough), Constable Savage, I Like Trucking, General Synod’s Life Of Python, Hi Fi Shop, Supa Dupa, That’s Lies, The Ayatollah Song (with its simple, perfect rhyming intro “There’s a man/In Iran”)…

Kinda Lingers meets all these and raises them higher, by several chips. It starts with one of the best self-contained (and not satirical) sketches with the perfect punchline of any show (The Spy Who Came In From The Cold written by Neil MacVicar). This is such a perfect example of incongruity, I use it to illustrate this theory of comedy in a lecture that I give on the psychology of comedy (I pair it with Newman and Baddiel’s History Today). One of the major theories of humour and comedy, incongruity theory argues that we laugh when we perceive two or more contradictory or opposing elements being placed together when we do not expect either to co-occur. It has a long history - a version was suggested by Cicero - but gestated in the work of Hazlitt and later Kierkergaard.

No spoilers here but for the uninitiated, the sketch is worth seeking out on You Tube for the full audio-visual glory and the crisp, exemplary delivery of Mel Smith and Rowan Atkinson who feature as spy and potential spy. Then, it is straight onto the traditional quickies and news one-liners before we encounter another of the series’ classic sketches, its spoof of Question Time which punctures Robin Day (here played by Griff Rhys Jones), the Question Time format, the stereotypical panel, the QT audience and bland political sloganising and sophistry. 

This is followed by another TV spoof, this time of Game For A Laugh in which the GFAL team, in the style of one of their Candid Camera set-ups, kills a viewer’s family to the alarm of the clearly distraught viewer, Geoffrey Lewis, whose distress turns to embarrassment and laughter when he discovers he is the patsy of the set up (“You guys!!!” he says to Mel Smith’s Beadle as his family lies dead inside his house and the corpse of his brother lies on the road outside after having been machine gunned by Pamela Stephenson’s Sarah Kennedy). 

This half of the album also includes two perfect phonological and visual quickies (Pizza Moment written by John Lloyd) and Hey Bob (written by Graham and Wilson), the latter featuring the brilliant punchline, “The new BL Ambassador. Built by Roberts” after a succession of Bobs in a car factory ask other Bobs where Bob’s torque wrench is. Webb’s Bread of Heaven is mercilessly lampooned, as are the Welsh, in a pastiche of the song in which a series of things is listed and the tune ends with “Failed in Wales” or “Made From Whales”. The Swedish Chemists Shop sketch (Great Old Chestnuts of the World, No 8) written by Barry Faulkner is also a quick and perfect play on phonology with its confusion between “aerosol” and “arsehole”.

The second half includes three of the show’s most admired sketches - Hey Wow (written by Smith and Jones) a spoof of a youth TV programme in which Griff Rhys Jones plays the presenter as an irritable and peremptory school teacher (“Would you do that at home?? Well, DON’T DO IT HERE”) and features the line “Mr Carpark has been kind enough to come here all the way from Nottingham”; McEnroe’s Breakfast (written by Tony Mather), another nice incongruity sketch in which Rhys Jones plays the querulous tennis player at the family breakfast who throws a tantrum because nothing is to his satisfaction; and Aleebee, written by Paul Smith and Terry Kyan, which starts out as a funny joke about mis-pronunciation and ends with commentary on the British judiciary’s knowledge of sex dolls. The sketches culminate in Rowan Atkinson’s lubricious, phallocentric performance in What A Load of Willies written by Richard Curtis (“The Post Office Tower? THE POST OFFICE TOWER?? Pah! It’s the Post Office PRICK!”). 

And it is this theme, and this end to the first album, which brings us to the pinnacle of the discs, and the show’s, achievement: its swansong. But the filth did not start here, even if it ended here. 

Colin Pearson’s Two Ronnies skit/parody, The Two Ninnies, and its musical number written by Peter Brewis were written as if on a dare to see how many filthy double (and single) entendres the cast and writers could fit into one sketch and song while sending up the Two Ronnie’s formulaic comedy structures. “We like birds; we’re ornithologists”, begins the song, “HORNY, PORNO- thologists” and, later, “we’re marching up and down on the spot, spot, spot because the sodding choreographer’s a twat, twat, twat.”  It climaxes, in a manner of speaking, in a torrent of just about broadcastable filth.

After the Willies, we finally reach the pipes, the steam and the electric guitar and plaintive piano which open the show’s final goodbye, Curtis and Howard Goodall’s Kinda Lingers. Goodall had been the cynosure of this season’s musical output, giving us Typical, Bloody Typical, Headbangers and, of course, Nice Video Shame About The Song. When Goodall was asked at the 40th anniversary celebration of the series at the British Film Institute in 2019 how he created these musical pastiches and parodies, he said he simply followed a 2-3 minute formula and that these songs did not take long to create. When you consider the actual musical sophistication and cleverness of a song like Nice Video, it does sound like a testament to the idea that the best ideas are created under pressure. The song was better than the video and the lyrics are as memorable as the sepulchral cast and the goose-stepping Nazi. 

Goodall’s comic and musical pedigree is pretty well-established, his song That’s Why I Hate The French (sung by him) written and composed for Rowan Atkinson’s live show is a beautiful, acidic distillation of Francophobic inferiority with an astonishingly catchy melody. He also composed the Oh Oh Oh Means I Respect You song for the live show and this is another beautiful, heart-breakingly crafted tune and a song of two moods in which Pamela Stephenson translates her sex noises. For a silly concept, the song is perfect. You can say this of many of Goodall’s musical parodies - that they could stand alone as pure little fizzing pop songs if you stripped out the comedy. His and Curtis’s Barry Manilow parody, also part of the live show, shows a virtuoso at work: “The ponderous pounding of the piano, is like the pounding in my heart, but as the verse has just begun, it’s time for the chorus to start!”). It’s almost effortless.

Kinda Lingers, the song, is famous - notorious - for its barely concealed double entendre. What plays out as a melancholy exchange of goodbyes and the bittersweet reflections of parting from a cast to each other on their last ever show, culminates with each reassuring each other that the memory kinda lingers, a sledgehammer double entendre and a brave effort given its broadcast at 9pm on BBC2 in 1982. It begins, of course: “A wise man once said/All good things must end/It’s been the theme of many singers/But goodbye is the hardest word to say/So let’s just say…kinda lingers”/cunnilingus. And if you play the song and listen you know exactly which of those words the cast is singing (“You’ll soon find someone new, who’ll never say cunnilingus to you” promises Atkinson). I liked this song and its sentiment so much that years ago I embedded it in a hyperlink in an old work email signature in the week I left. Nobody noticed.

Not In Front Of The Audience

The second disc is a recording of the live show, Not In Front Of The Audience, at the Drury Lane Theatre in London in 1982. This is more of a hit and miss affair because some of the sketches clearly rely on us the audience being there in order for it to really work. It does mark a milestone, as such, and provides a glorious confirmation of the show’s success in that it was able to create and put on a live show that sold-out thus continuing a long tradition of (mainly Oxbridge) comedians adapting their revues or TV shows for the stage (most famously, Monty Python who also recorded their show at Drury Lane). They’re all at it now, of course.

There are some longeurs in the show - and the need to comply with the constraints of theatre are painfully obvious and seem stretched on occasion. There is a lengthy series of sketches featuring the Pope which overstays its welcome but is redeemed by the pontiff’s impression of Tommy Cooper. As befits theatre, it’s perhaps surprising or not that the most successful portions of the show are musical, it opens with Peter Brewis’s Confrontation Song, includes the Respect You and Manilow songs mentioned earlier, and reprises Gob On You.

Most of the material is new. The show reprises Constable Savage in a new sketch. The original was famous for two reasons. First, it is a perfect satire on police racism where Savage is hellbent on arresting the same man (a Mr Winston Kodogo) for a series of increasingly preposterous and fictitious crimes. And, second, it was scripted by a writer (Paul Newstead) who, by all accounts, only wrote this one sketch for the show before disappearing into comedy oblivion. As became a tradition, the show was accompanied by further comedy material in the form of the show’s souvenir programme which was mercifully short on adverts for Cameron Mackintosh, paeans to the theatre and its history, and tempting post-show specials at Joe Allen’s but long on spoof adverts and features. See below.

Not Another Paragraph of Praise

Like all NOT albums, The Memory Kinda Lingers holds up even now, a rare feat for a show that was defined by and promoted for its satirical drive. It is a testament to the strength and timelessness of its comedy. It is slick, polished, sharp, funny and inventive, created by a crew at the height of its ability. Personally, this was the one album that made me in awe of comedy writing. It is a masterclass. If I were ever invited onto The Rule Of Three, this is the album I’d discuss. And it’s one that, despite the years that have gone by, just - well - kinda lingers, doesn’t it?

G Neil Martin is a Professor of Psychology and writer (@thatneilmartin)
He was a writer and books reviewer for Deadpan, the UK's first - and last - magazine about comedy. His book, The Psychology of Comedy, is published this Autumn by Routledge.

We all know who the big hitters of British TV comedy were in the 1980s. Shows such as Only Fools and Horses, Minder and Spitting Image still elicit mass devotion all these years on. But there was so much more going on in the British TV schedules in terms of comedy. The majority of these have slipped our minds, but this isn't (well, not always) an indicator of their quality. Some simply didn't engage large audiences as well as others did. It's as simple as that. But I can assure you that all these other shows (well, most of them) deserve to be remembered. And that's why I've put together this look at 50 British TV comedies from the 1980s you forgot about.

1. Hardwicke House - ITV - 1987

Written by Richard Hall and Simon Wright, Hardwicke House is a sitcom set in an East Midlands secondary school. But, rather than focussing its attentions on the pupils, Hardwicke House cranes its neck round the staff room door. Alcoholic headteacher RG Wickham (Roy Kinnear) holds little control over his unruly staff such as the sadistic Herbert Fowl (Granville Saxton) and lecherous gambler Dick Flashman (Gavin Richards). The opening two episodes feature clumsy attacks on apartheid, a 6th form girl clad in a revealing leather dress and a pupil being electrocuted to a crisp. Unsurprisingly, there was an uproar from viewers and teachers. The remaining five episodes - including one where a vicar was killed and one featuring a Rik Mayall/Adrian Edmondson appearance - were put on hiatus and quietly shuffled to the back of ITV's archives. Until, that is, they all leaked onto YouTube in 2019.

2. Oh Happy Band! - BBC1 - 1980

Jeremy Lloyd and David Croft put in a decent shift for British comedy, didn't they? Together they created both Are You Being Served and 'Allo 'Allo which is more than enough to establish themselves as legends. But they also wrote the little known 1980 sitcom Oh Happy Band! which aired on BBC1. Set in the idyllic village of Nettlebridge, Oh Happy Band! stars Harry Worth as Harry, the conductor of the local brass band. Rather than having to worry about village fetes and the various maladies afflicting members of the band, Harry is more concerned with imminent building of an airport in Nettlebridge. Rallying his band members together, Harry forms the Anti Airport Committee. Episodes find the brass band trying to get in the Guinness Book of Records by playing at 1,000 feet in the air (in hot air balloons) and promoting the discovery of a holy well in order to drive the airport away.

3. Pushing Up Daisies / Coming Next - Channel 4 - 1984 to 85

Boasting a rather impressive roster of Chris Barrie, Gareth Hale, Norman Pace and Carla Mendonca, Pushing Up Daisies (and its follow up series Coming Next) was a sketch show put together by legendary comedy producer Paul Jackson. Perhaps most impressive are Chris Barrie's supernaturally amazing impressions - see Ronald Reagan promoting anti-Mexican holiday Wop a Wop in 84. But this is not to the detriment to the rest of the series' output. WestEnders, set in the Schitz Cocktail Bar, is a ruthless spoof of EastEnders where the original Made in Chelsea mob flaunt their wealth. Hale and Pace find time to debut their iconic characters The Two Rons ("We put the fun in funeral). And there are numerous sketches where the entire cast partake in film spoofs which even take aim at script directions.

4. Snakes and Ladders - Channel 4 - 1989

Everyone (worth knowing) knows who Laurence Marks and Maurice Gran are. And just as many people recognise John Gordon Sinclair and Adrian Edmondson. But did you know that this quartet came together in a late 1980s Channel 4 sitcom? Set in 1999, the universe of Snakes and Ladders is one where a literal North/South divide has been set up between England and Scotland. Whilst Giles (Adrian Edmondson) lives a blessed life in the riches of Chipping Sodbury - mostly thanks to his gruesomely wealthy father - Gavin (John Gordon Sinclair) has to pick his way through the rubble strewn poverty of Glasgow. But this all changes when a case of mistaken identity finds them swapping roles, much to Giles' absolute horror. A quirky and fun satire, Snakes and Ladders also benefits from a mighty Rik Mayall cameo.

5. Seconds Out - BBC1 - 1981 to 82

Robert Lindsay isn't renowned for his hardman credentials, but in Bill MacIlwraith's boxing comedy he plays promising middleweight Pete Dodds. The problem for Dodds, however, is that his brand of in-ring tomfoolery is keeping him from the top. Thankfully, veteran manager Tom Sprake (Lee Montague) believes he can get the best out of Dodds so, with the help of his trainer Dave Locket (Ken Jones), takes Dodds into his stable of pugilists. But the route to championship glory is far from easy. As well as tackling dangerous criminal Fishy Freddy, our triumvirate in Seconds Out will need to stay in Britain's most depressing hotel and somehow get through a disastrous photoshoot. And, in the second and final series, an additional distraction enters the ring in the form of Dodds' new girlfriend Hazel (Leslie Ash).

6. Dream Stuffing - Channel 4 - 1984

Life in mid-1980s is far from easy, particularly if your name is either Jude (Rachel Weaver) or Mo (Amanda Symonds). Although Mo starts Dream Stuffing in the employment of Seymours Ocular Aids, she soon finds herself queuing up at the DHSS with the perma-unemployed Jude. Convinced she's never more than a big break away from appearing on Top of the Pops, Jude is content with the dole queue. Despite Jude's shambolic approach to life, Mo finds herself embarking on mad scheme after mad scheme with her flatmate. All of these exploits - including running Mo's mother's launderette into financial ruin - start life in 76 Riverside Terrace, a dilapidated London tower block where their neighbours Richard (Ray Burdis) and Bill (Frank Lee) run a car repair service. 10 episodes of Dream Stuffing were produced and it features a cracking theme tune by Kirsty MacColl.

7. Laugh??? I Nearly Paid my Licence Fee - BBC2 - 1984

Another sketch show featuring a stellar cast, Laugh??? I Nearly Paid my Licence Fee managed to collect Robbie Coltrane, John Sessions, Louise Gold and Ron Bain together for six episodes in 1984. It was, for all intents and purposes, a follow up to A Kick up the Eighties but minus stars such as Rik Mayall and Tracy Ullman. Variety is the spice of life for sketch shows and there's little time to catch your breath in Laugh??? Robbie Coltrane is on fantastic form as hardline Protestant activist Mason Boyne (he's furious that the local video shop is selling corruptive videos of the Pope's visit). The aliens of Nimon land on Earth hellbent on capturing a human, but end up with a goat. And the jewel in the crown is The Master of Dundreich, a spoof of period dramas which finds a cruel uncle trying to transform his nephew into a ventriloquist's dummy. 

8. Struggle - Channel 4 - 1983

The first, and only, sitcom from The Guardian's political commentator Peter Jenkins, Struggle was a clever satire on borough councils and, more pointedly, the battles between Labour and the Conservatives. Set in the fictional London borough of Southam, Struggle finds its protagonist in the form of Steve Marsh (Tim Piggot-Smith). The leader of Southam's borough council, Marsh is a left winger of the highest calibre. But his dream of socialism for all is frequently nixed by his upper class Conservative opponent Sir Bert (Ray Smith). Six episodes of Struggle were produced by LWT for Channel 4 and typical exploits found Marsh debating whether Southam should celebrate Karl Marx Day and the setting up of a sexual rehabilitation workshop for women.

9. Tom, Dick and Harriet - ITV - 1982 to 83

Coming from the Midas touch that was the typewriters of Johnnie Mortimer and Brian Cooke (Man about the House, Robin's Nest and Father, Dear Father) Thames Television must have been cock-a-hoop to have Tom, Dick and Harriet on their hands. Running for two series, the sitcom starts with Thomas Maddison (Lionel Jeffries) at the funeral of his wife Agnes. But, rather than being heartbroken, Thomas announces that, after Agnes' 40 year reign of terror, it's time to start celebrating. And he's heading down to London to really enjoy himself. Moving in with his son Richard (Ian Ogilvy) and daughter-in-law Harriet (Brigit Forsyth) doesn't, however, go smoothly. Thomas' brash ways don't go down well with the London set, so Richard and Harriet spend most of their time carrying out damage limitation exercises such as keeping Thomas away from their dinner parties.

10. It Takes a Worried Man - ITV/Channel 4 - 1981 to 83

Philip Roath (Peter Tilbury) is an insurance salesman with a curious brand of anxiety and melancholy infiltrating every inch of his psyche. His wife has recently left him for an older, fatter and uglier man from Deptford who, to top it all, owns an electric blue Ford Capri with a vinyl roof. Naturally, this turn of events has left Philip - imagine Mark Corrigan from Peep Show steeped in 1980s gloom - in a state of depression. With regular trips to his peculiarly downbeat analyst Simon (Nicholas Le Prevost) proving to offer little in the way of catharsis, Philip spends most of his working day grousing about his existence. Perhaps hastened by his obsession that his hair will soon disappear, Philip manages to seek out new romance - first with Lillian (Angela Down) and then Liz (Sue Holderness). As well as playing the main star, Peter Tilbury also wrote the majority of the scripts. 

11. The Happy Apple - ITV - 1983

Based on Jack Pulman's theatre production of the same name from 1970, The Happy Apple was a Thames Television production which ran for seven episodes in 1983. The series, written by Keith Waterhouse, centred upon the fortunes of advertising firm Murray, Maine and Spender. Unfortunately, business is tough for M, M & S with their recent campaigns failing to ignite the interests of consumers. And, currently, the only client they have left is Bassington's Ice Cream. But, unbeknownst to M, M & S, their saviour is not far away. The firm's young, ditzy secretary Nancy Gray (Leslie Ash) is perfectly positioned as an average Joe who can determine exactly what the public will go for. But will her rapidly mounting success in the world of marketing be at the expense of her every(wo)man intuition?

12. Marjorie and Men - ITV - 1985

A rare sitcom production from Anglia Television, Marjorie and Men was written by both John Gorrie and Peter Spence. It was also the sitcom which announced Patricia Routledge as a force in the lead performer role. Marjorie Belton (Patricia Routledge) is a middle-aged divorcee keen to find a new love, an objective that Marjorie's mother Alice Tripp (Patricia Hayes) is determined to bring to fruition. Marjorie's adventures into the world of dating find her heading to a disco with the charming Norton Phillips (George Baker) and trying to escape the relentless boredom of greengrocer George Banthorpe (Timothy West). Alice, meanwhile, is busy inviting potential suitors round to vet them on behalf of her daughter. And life at the bank where Marjorie works is no easier thanks to the unwanted attentions of her married boss Henry Bartlett (James Cossins).

13. Comrade Dad - BBC2 - 1986

George Cole was at his peak as Arthur Daley in 1986 over on ITV, but he still managed to find time to temporarily defect to the BBC for Comrade Dad. Starting life as a pilot episode in 1984, Comrade Dad made the leap to a fully fledged series in 1986. Coming from the minds of writers Ian Davidson and Peter Vincent, Comrade Dad was a satire (of sorts) set in the future of 1999, 10 years after The Queen and Margaret Thatcher had been overthrown by the USSR and their beloved communism. Britain is now known as USSR-GB and propaganda is rife that the British have never had it so good. The truth, though, is very different and, with rationing commonplace, most meals consist of beetroot. Reg Dudgeon (George Cole), however, is in thrall to the new regime. And is determined to become a party member. No matter how many mugs of conker coffee he has to endure.

14. The Lady is a Tramp - Channel 4 - 1983 to 84

Made by Regent Productions and written by Johnny Speight, The Lady is a Tramp was one of Channel 4's very first homegrown sitcoms. Two series of The Lady is a Tramp were produced and looked at the fortunes of a couple of down-and-outs in the form of Old Pat (Patricia Hayes) and Lanky Pat (Pat Coombs). Inspired, to some degree, by the large numbers of homeless people on Britain's streets at the time, The Lady is a Tramp finds both Pats finally settling in one location: an abandoned van in a yard. This unorthodox situation and peculiar environment ensures a sitcom which is ripe with potential. Lanky Pat devises a scheme, in one episode, to secure a free bus pass and a pension. Another episode finds Warren Mitchell turning up as a fellow down-and-out who has his eye on romance. And the very final episode finds Ronald Fraser appearing in the yard as an apparent millionaire.

15. Roll Over Beethoven - ITV - 1985

Curiously recorded in two separate production blocks, but with all 13 episodes transmitted in one long stretch, Roll Over Beethoven was another creation from the prodigious talents of Laurence Marks and Maurice Gran. Belinda Purcell (Liza Goddard) is a piano teacher in a small Surrey village, but things are going to get a little more interesting than teaching Chopsticks to nine-year olds. Nigel Cochrane (Nigel Planer), the ex-bass player in heavy metal band Graf Spee, has bought a local mansion - much to the consternation of Belinda's authoritarian father Oliver (Richard Vernon) - and is planning his debut solo album. But he needs piano lessons. And so Belinda enters a world of rock 'n' roll. Sadly, Nigel's album is a flop - save for the one song written with Belinda - and he is forced to rejoin Graf Spee for a tour to pay off his tax bill. Belinda, meanwhile, is beginning a promising solo career.

16. A Touch of Spice - BBC1 - 1989

The end of the 1980s found BBC1 serving up six courses of A Touch of Spice, a culinary sitcom cooked up and garnished by Francis Greig. Quasimodo's is a fine dining establishment, but thanks to the wandering hands of chef Fred Ponsonby it's causing a major headache for chef Victoria (Julia Watson) and waitress/nutritionist Dawn (Natalie Ogle). Breaking away from Quasimodo's, Victoria and Dawn set up a catering company called A Touch of Spice. And they have a 'helping' hand in the form of Victoria's boyfriend Clive (Martin Jacods) and Victoria's wealth obsessed mother Helen (Virginia Stride) who both try and bring them new clients. Episodes bring a series of disasters for Victoria and Dawn such as their first client being the vegetarian owner of Quasimodo's and Dawn gambling all the firm's money on a horse.

17. Rep - 1982 - ITV

A period sitcom, set in 1948, Rep was a joint creation by Digby Wolfe and Ray Taylor which concentrated on the J C Benton Players, a touring repertory ensemble. J C Benton (Iain Cuthbertson) has brought his touring company - with leading lady Angela Soames (Caroline Mortiner) - to Lytham St Annes for the summer season and, aiming for hilarious consequences, the narratives never quite go his way. Staying with landlady Flossie Nightingale (Patsy Rowlands), Benton has to contend with Soames losing her voice, the prospect of a Hollywood producer being in the audience and, most troubling of all, the proposed closure of the theatre. Four 30-minute episodes of Rep aired on Friday's at 8.30am.

18. Sob Sisters - 1989 - ITV

Sibling strife is the subject of Andrew Marshall's 1989 sitcom Sob Sisters which was part of ITV's summer schedule for 1989. Liz (Gwen Taylor) is a veterinarian's receptionist struggling to make ends meet whilst her wealthy sister Dorothy (Polly Adams) merely struggles to decide whether the Bahamas is worthy of her presence. The sisters, as you would expect, don't exactly see eye to eye on life and 10 minutes is about the maximum amount of time they can spend together. But Dorothy's wealthy husband has passed away and, due to his bad investments, she's been left very little money (until some bonds are released in 1993) and has to move in with Liz. Together, the sisters will learn how to handle muggers ("hit them hard in the groin") due to a local crimewave and, in one episode, the out of her depth Dorothy covers Liz's reception duties when jury duty calls.

19. The Lonelyhearts Kid - ITV - 1984

Writer Alex Shearer turned, as the Guardian described it, "human misery to comic effect" in his sitcom The Lonelyhearts Kid which reunited him with Robert Glenister, who had also starred in Shearer's Sink or Swim. They may have been sweethearts since childhood, but Ken (Robert Glenister) and Judy (Deborah Farrington) have now found their relationship at an end. Both have been moving in different directions for some time. Well, at least Judy has, Ken appears mired in adolescence. And poor heartbroken Ken has no option, but to get back into the dating game. Seeking the advice of his sister Ros (Julia Goodman), his old school foe Ray (George Winter), an agony aunt and a priest, Ken looks to get over his split and find a new girlfriend. And, who knows, maybe he'll end up meeting a beauty queen.

20. The Groovy Fellers - Channel 4 - 1989

Border Television's The Groovy Fellers for Channel 4 is a comedy series with few parallels. Written by Jools Holland, Rowland Rivron and Tim Pope, The Groovy Fellers has its tongue firmly in its cheek. Holland, playing himself, is unemployed and ruminating his next move in a Northern pub. And, by chance, it's this exact moment that a spaceship lands outside and in walks a naked Martian (Rowland Rivron). This is a fortuitous happening as Holland just happens to have a film crew filming his every move 24/7. And, seeing as the Martian is keen to learn about life on Earth, Holland suggests taking him on a guided tour of life in Britain. This absurdist documentary series, featuring unsuspecting members of the public, has the Martian falling off London buses, examining the finer points of etiquette and trying to get the Martian his showbiz break.

21. Pyjamarama - ITV - 1984

It wouldn't be a surprise if you had forgotten about Pyjamarama as its unlikely you watched it in the first place. Airing only in the LWT regiona, Pyjamarama went out at 11.30pm on Friday evenings and, naturally, was never going to be a ratings winner. But what a series it was! Taking advantage of the burgeoning live comedy scene in Britain (particularly London), Pyjamarama was hosted by Arthur 'Arfur' Smith and showcased some of the best acts on the circuit. Six episodes were transmitted with each one featuring two to three acts such as Chris Barrie, John Dowie, Helen Lederer and The Joeys. One episode also finds Arthur Smith ripping his shirt off to perform as a dyslexic Channel 4 poet and can only be described as sublime hilarity.

22. Father Matthew's Daughter - BBC2 - 1987

Terrence Brady and Charlotte Bingham's religious comedy drama is an intriguing one. And not just because it features Ray Winstone in a dog collar and cassock. Father Matthew Fitzsimmon (James Bolam) is a giddy priest serving the community in Fulham. He's joined in the parish by Father Charlie (Ray Winstone) who has one eye on the Catholic faith and the other on Miss England. Due to the death of his sister and brother-in-law in an accident, Father Matthew finds that he is now the guardian of his niece Holly (Samantha Hurst). But, due to his religious commitments, he's unable to take Holly on and she ends up living with Father Charlie's sister Sharon (Gabrielle Lloyd). Nonetheless, Holly provides constant headaches for Father Matthew by questioning his celibacy, going on hunger strike and struggling to adapt to her painfully modern new school.

23. Third Time Lucky - ITV - 1982

Divorce is rarely a painless affair and if your next relationship ends in divorce then it must be particularly galling. But what happens if you then get back with the partner you divorced the first time round? Processing this scenario takes a lot of imagination and it's at the centre of Jan Butlin's ITV sitcom. George Hutchenson (Derek Nimmo) and Beth (Nerys Hughes) are reconciling to try marital bliss again after their first attempt ended in acrimony. This time round they will be contending with not only the dangers of ugly issues arising once again, but also the activities of their daughters Clare (Deborah Farrington) and Jenny (Lorraine Brunning). Oh and, of course, there's the continued presence of their ex-partners from their subsequent marriages from each other. Don't worry, it's less confusing on screen.

24. Wyatt's Watchdogs - BBC1 - 1988

Neighbourhood Watch schemes attracted significant attention in the 1980s, so Miles Tredinnick decided to make this the focus of his 1988 BBC1 sitcom. Set in the leafy English village of Bradly Bush, Wyatt's Watchdogs examines the village's fight against crime led by Major John Wyatt (Brian Wilde). Following a burglary at the house of Wyatt's sister Edwina (Anne Ridler), Wyatt gathers together the neighbourhood's finest to make the streets safe again. Joining the pompous Wyatt are security alarm salesman Peter Pitt (Trevor Bannister) and the refined, feminine charms of Virginia (April Walker). Naturally, the local police sergeant Springer (James Warrior) doesn't take too kindly to the bumbling approach employed by Wyatt and ensures plenty of conflict between the two. The narratives involve the Watchdogs hunting down a gnome thief and setting up an anti-theft engraving service.

25. The Optimist - Channel 4 - 1983 to 85

Running for two curious series in 1983 and 1985, The Optimist was the epitome of Channel 4's desire to deliver something different. Using specially recorded sound effects, music and only a sprinkling of what the producers referred to as "blah-blah" dialogue, The Optimist starred Enn Reitel in what was touted as an "almost silent comedy". The first series is set, and indeed was filmed, in and around Hollywood. This set of episodes find The Optimist trying his hand at windsurfing to impress The Girl (Sharron Davies) and joining a health farm which appears to be little more than a prison. The Optimist's adventures head back to London in the second series where he accidentally takes charge of a stolen diamond and is also mistaken for an impressionist painter. Despite failing in most of his endeavours, The Optimist maintains a cheerful outlook on life, no matter how bizarre the outcomes are.

26. Saturday Gang - ITV - 1986 to 88

LWT's prime time comedy series Saturday Gang built a comedy ensemble which consisted of Gareth Hale, Norman Pace, Kate Robbins and Gary Wilmot. The series, which went out early on Saturday evenings, was your typical mainstream comedy show of the era and consisted mostly of sketches and songs. Cheerfully upbeat and with a spring in its step, sketches include a Glaswegian take on Play School and a weekly serial entitled Quest for the Fountain of Hair Growth whilst songs featured include We're the Wallies and, everybody's favourite, Sexy English Lady. Two series of Saturday Gang were produced and, along with Pushing Up Daisies and Coming Next, it clearly acted as part of Hale and Pace's springboard to success as their long-running Hale and Pace series launched a few months later.

27. Rushton's Illustrated - ITV - 1980

Arch satirist, formidable talent and quintessentially British are just some of the indisputable terms you could apply to Willie Rushton. First appearing on British TV in the early 1960s, as a major player in the satire boom, it wouldn't be until 1980 that he secured a series bearing his name. Written by Rushton himself, the ATV produced Rushton's Illustrated consisted of five episodes of surreal sketches. Rushton, surrounded by actors including Hugh Paddick, Roy Kinnear and Caroline Villiers, auditions for a role in 'Werewolf on the Titanic" as well as starring in 'Cabaret Time on the SS Gigantic' and also encounters Piddington, the mind-reading bear. Sadly, two episodes of Rushton's Illustrated are 'missing believed wiped' thus robbing us of some particularly surreal, and intriguing, British comedy.

28. Sharon and Elsie - BBC1 - 1984 to 85

Arline Whittaker penned this mid-1980s BBC sitcom which, despite picking up a second series, fails to hit the jackpot in the recognition stakes. But what was it about? Well... Elsie Beecroft (Brigit Forsyth) works at James Blake & Son, a printing firm in Manchester that specialises in greetings cards and calendars. Following the retirement of the company's secretary, a series of applicants pass through the door but none of them are suitable. Until, that is, the youthful charms (and skirts) of Sharon catch the eye of factory boss Stanley Crabtree (John Landry). Initially, the middle class sensibilities of Elsie are threatened by the bright and breezy tones of working class Sharon, but eventually develops respect for her. Typical plots have Sharon and Elsie joining forces to take on striking factory workers and dealing with the rigours of Sharon's relationship issues.

29. Split Ends - ITV - 1989

One of her first television projects after leaving EastEnders in 1988, Split Ends found Anita Dobson taking centre stage in this Granada sitcom created by Len Richmond. Cath (Anita Dobson) is the owner of Teasers, a London hairdressing salon. And she's rapidly approaching her 40th birthday without a significant other, a fact which her mother Ruth (Barbara New) considers particularly galling. But romance may well be in the air. Not only is there the possibility of love in the form of American stockbroker Clint (Harry Ditson), but Teasers' head stylist David (Peter Blake) is also ticking all of Cath's boxes. Romance aside, the rest of the sitcom's focus falls upon the bickering salon staff. Sadly, there's no cameo appearance for a quick perm from Dobson's real life husband Brian May.

30. Grundy - ITV - 1980

Harry H Corbett's turns in Steptoe and Son were more than enough to engrave his name in comedy lore. But even the keenest comedy fan will struggle to recognise Grundy, Corbett's final transmitted performance in 1980. Leonard Grundy (Harry H Corbett) is a sanctimonious newsagent with an aversion to all the ills of society. And, much to his embarrassment, he is now divorced from his wife who has left him for Burt Loomis - one of the finest bed salesmen in Britain. Co-incidentally, at the divorce courts, Grundy bumps into Beryl Loomis (Lynda Baron) who just happens to be Burt's ex-wife. And Beryl's flirting causes all manner of moral headaches for Grundy. However, Grundy's daughter Sharon (Julie Dawn Cole) and Beryl's son Murray (David Janson) get on like a house on fire, much to Grundy's horror. Along the way, Grundy will also have to deal with a batch of erotic magazines that end up in his possession and face up to some serious financial problems.

31. The Front Line - BBC1 - 1984

Starting in December 1984 and running for six episodes, The Front Line was written by Alex Shearer and starred Paul Barber and Alan Igbon as a pair of half-brothers living together. Initially working as a security guard before making the leap to a police constable, Malcolm (Paul Barber) is a strait-laced individual who hails from a different cosmos to his half-brother Sheldon (Alan Igbon). With a healthy set of dreadlocks above his head, Sheldon is strongly committed towards the Rastafarian faith and just as determined to stick it to the man. This chalk and cheese dynamic provides bountiful amounts of conflict, such as Malcolm arresting one of Sheldon's heroes, but it fails to weather their deep familial bonds. Even if Sheldon does plan to test out his new speakers during Malcolm's sophisticated dinner party, a soiree where Malcolm intends to impress his fellow constable Maria (Julie Brennon).

32. The Crystal Cube - BBC1 - 1983

Believe it or not, but there was a time when Stephen Fry and Hugh Laurie weren't an established institution. And, in 1983, they were still at the level of up-and-comers. Following their success in ITV's Alfresco, Fry and Laurie were offered a one-off pilot from the BBC. And The Crystal Cube, written solely by Messrs. Fry and Laurie, wields its comedic might by lampooning the world of serious science television programmes. It's powered, of course, by a glittering cast which includes Emma Thompson as well as Robbie Coltrane. The sketches on offer give silly slants on the world of genetics whilst Hugh Laurie plays Max Belhaven from the Bastard Institute and a wonderfully ridiculous skit involves the bible repeatedly being called "the bibble". As the history books evidence, The Crystal Cube didn't go any further - Laurie claims the BBC hated it - but Fry and Laurie's careers most certainly did.

33. Sweet Sixteen - BBC1 - 1983

Just two years after To the Manor Born had finished, Penelope Keith was back in a romantic comedy in the form of Douglas Watkinson's Sweet Sixteen. Helen Walker (Penelope Keith) is, following the passing of her father, the head of construction firm Carrington & Daughter. Helen, in her early 40s, is also a widower, but she's resolute that romance is not beyond her. And, as evidence of this, Helen can point towards a semi-serious relationship she's been fostering with the much younger - sixteen years in fact - architect Peter Morgan (Christopher Villiers). But this relationship is suddenly going to get more serious as Helen is pregnant. Deciding that they do, quite probably, love each other they decide to get married. Will Peter, however, be able to keep Helen away from the stresses of the business and crooked regulation officers? And will Helen be able to help Doctor Ballantine (Mike Grady) find a new house?

34. Little Armadillos - Channel 4 - 1984

The Seal Club is a seedy little club, packed full of mannequins to appear busy, down by the docks. And it's run by a pair of idiots. Wayne (Steve Steen) and Donny Armadillo (Jim Sweeney) both think they're cleverer than their sibling, but the truth is they're equally stupid. And, given the surreal goings on at The Seal Club, it's a good thing. Hosting patrons such as the warlock-consulting pop star Steve Devious (Daniel Peacock) and a washed up 1960s soap star (now a backstreet abortionist), The Seal Club is privy to chaos and violence. Little Armadillos, written by Pete Richens and Colin Gibson, is more than just a sitcom though. Numerous sketches segue into the narratives with parodies of TV-am and sketches featuring security guards watching CCTV as if it's a TV show. Best of all, Little Armadillos features an extended cast including Mark Arden, Stephen Frost and Helen Lederer.

35. The Cut Price Comedy Show - Channel 4 - 1982

One of Channel's 4 earliest and most peculiar (Minipops aside) programmes, The Cut Price Comedy Show was a sketch show steeped in corn, a situation helped by the fact that the series claimed to use old Christmas cracker jokes. Lenny Windsor fronts this Television South West production along with help from Caroline Ellis, Royce Mills and Roger Ruskin Spear. The lo-fi, but cheery set is also home to series' house band Tatty Ollity who serve up compositions such as Mr N R Gee and frantic takes on the William Tell Overture. Incredibly tongue in cheek, the series' self deprecating tone even spread into the listing details they submitted to the TV Times, for example: "Never in the field of television comedy has so little been done with so little for so little". A true oddity.

36. Mog - ITV - 1985 to 86

Based on Peter Tinniswood's 1970 novel - also entitled Mog - this adaptation, which boasted several scripts by Dick Clement and Ian La Frenais, aired on ITV in the mid-1980s for two series. A Central Television production, Mog centred upon the titular character played by Enn Reitel. An untrustworthy cat burglar of the highest order, Mog fakes insanity in order to receive sanctity from the police in Briardene, a mental asylum. And, whilst residing in Briardene, Mog decides to recruit his fellow inmates as his partners in crime. However, given their rather eccentric dispositions, Mog's compatriots provide nothing but recurring hindrances to his schemes. And it's all to the chagrin of resident doctor Mrs Mortensen (Catherine Schell).

37. Revolting Women - BBC2 - 1981

"Heard the one about the Englishwoman, the Irishwoman and the Scotswoman? You haven't?" is how the Radio Times trailed Revolting Women, a comedy series containing sketches and standup from a feminine perspective. With even the BBC Manchester caption amended to BBC Womanchester, Revolting Women - created mostly by women and starring only one male, Philip Bird - certainly set out its stall as a response to the male dominated world of British television. A man, desperately trying to report a mugging, is turned away by a WPC who accuses him of asking for it. A weekly serial entitled Bogwomen follows a fiercely matriarchal tribe and, echoing 2021 in so many ways, one sketch features a male feminist forever ignoring his female colleague's comments. The cast involved in the six episodes (and one special) include Jeni Barnett, Alison Skilbeck, Linda Dobell, Linda Broughton and Philip Bird.

38. Divided We Stand - BBC1 - 1987

Myra Taylor's 1987 sitcom for BBC1 revolved around the curious relationship between Maisie (Anna Keaveney) and Bert (Shaun Curry), a couple who had been married for 17 years. Despite such a tenure, their marriage is one that has been made in hell. And Maisie has finally had enough of Bert's boorish ways. Accordingly, she has not only built a wall down the middle of the living room, but she's also drawn up a timetable for using other sections of the house. A spanner is thrown in the works, however, when their daughter Susan (Michelle Holmes) announces she's pregnant and has to move back in. Bert meanwhile remains convinced that he can worm his way back into Maisie's affections, but this will be a struggle as he can't even control his ignorance at a local jumble sale. Divided We Stand received just the one airing and was never repeated.

39. Pig in the Middle - ITV - 1980 to 83

Barty Wade (Dinsdale Landen) is a civil servant with a passionate hunger for matters of the flesh, but his wife Susan (Joanna Vangyseghem) has tired of this pursuit and is more interested in middle-aged activities such as shopping for blinds and holding dinner parties. However, it's at one of these parties that Barty meets Nellie Bligh (Liza Goddard), a cheery primary school teacher who is rather taken with Barty's childish, yet engaging ways. A low-level affair develops between Barty and Nellie, but whilst Nellie is keen to take it further, Barty suffers pangs of guilt and, for now, it remains platonic. Eventually, Barty and Nellie decide to move in together, but Barty soon begins to suspect that Nellie will be just as bossy as Susan. Pig in the Middle, which ran for three series, was written by Terence Brady and Charlotte Bingham. Of note is the fact that Dinsdale Landen left after the first series and was replaced by Terence Brady.

40. A Small Problem - BBC2 - 1987

This late 1980s satire, crafted by Mike Walling and Tony Millan, is clever, to the point and funny. But, for one reason or another, it never fully engaged with the viewers. One series of six episodes was written with A Small Problem concerning a society in the near future where those under 5 feet experience extreme prejudice. These "smalls" are driven into dilapidated ghettos and warned to keep away from normals. Roy Pink (Mike Elles) despises the smalls, but he is soon lumped in with them after a new EEC regulation means his 5ft 3/4in height now classifies him as a small. Much to his horror, he finds himself installed in a ghetto full of "shrimpos". Whilst Roy plans to break back into normal society, he finds himself rubbing shoulders with the mysterious, yet charming Howard (Christopher Ryan) who is a secret member of the Small Liberation Front.

41. The Corner House - Channel 4 - 1987

Devised by Robert Llewellyn and Christopher Eymard whilst on the road with comedy troupe The Joeys, The Corner House was, as producer David Jones (also from The Joeys) described it, a "warmth-based comedy". The Corner House ran for six episodes and concerns the events taking place at The Corner House cafe, a curious, yet friendly establishment run by Gilbert (Christopher Eymard) and Dave (Robert Llewellyn). Episodes revolve around both the clientele of the cafe and its owners. Delivery man Pete (Aslie Pitter) decides to hang his nude paintings in the cafe. The arrival of a female plumber causes much consternation in The Corner House. And Gilbert becomes incredibly anxious when fireman Sam (Martin Allan) threatens to close the cafe for breaching safety regulations.

42. Roots - ITV - 1981

An early entry in Laurence Marks and Maurice Gran's marathon writing career, Roots brought an interesting premise to our screens in 1981 - courtesy of ATV. Melvin Solomons (Allan Corduner) is a Jewish dentist, but his true love doesn't lie in root canals and cavities. Instead, he wants to become an artist - a proposition which is anathema to his parents who believe dentistry to be a more honourable profession. The six episodes of Roots trace this conflict and Melvin's transition from dentist into artist. Melvin's parents seem particularly concerned about his interest in the mystic East whilst Melvin also finds himself going on a date with a young lady he meets at a funeral (she happens to be the deceased's mistress). 

43. Prospects - Channel 4 - 1986

Although this is one of the few programmes on this list to have received a commercial release, Prospects is a comedy drama which remains unknown to many. A product of the legendary Euston Films studio, Prospects was written by Alan Janes, a writer who had also written for Euston's juggernaut series Minder. And, much like the adventures of Arthur Daley, Prospects is heavy on ducking and diving and wheeling and dealing. Jimmy 'Pincey' Pince (Gary Olsen) and Billy Pearson (Brian Bovell) find themselves a permanent fixture in the dole queue in the Isle of Dogs, but they've got plans. They've got prospects. Pincey is the 'brains' of this two man enterprise and dreams up a never-ending stream of business ideas which will make them a forture. A wry comment on Thatcher's Britain, the 12 episodes find Pincey and Billy trying to set up a theme park, considering a bank robbery and setting up a pest control business. 

44. Bottle Boys - ITV - 1984 to 85

A few years on from his starring roles in the Confessions... film series, Robin Askwith found himself appearing in two series of Vince Powell's sitcom Bottle Boys. Examining the lives of the staff at Dawson Dairies, Bottle Boys features Askwith in the role of Dave Deacon. He's joined by a disparate gang of fellow milkmen in the form of alcoholic Jock (Phil McCall), Joe (Oscar James) and the aging Teddy Boy Billy Watson (David Auker). The boys' duty manager is the bespectacled Stan Evans (Richard Davies) and, completing the Dawson's team, there is Sharon (Eve Ferret), a secretary with few secretarial skills. Bottle Boys is corny (really corny at times) but, whilst certain references may not be politically correct these days, it's ridiculously fun. Episodes mine the usual tropes such as the milkmen getting stuck in a lift and even a close look at political correctness when a female "milkperson" starts work at the dairy.

45. The Climber - BBC1 - 1983

Due to a case of mixed up test papers, Harry Lumsdon (Robin Nedwell) has been mistakenly declared a genius by Mensa. In reality, his actual test result reveals that he's nothing more than the moron everyone knows he is. But ignorance is bliss and Lumsdon is keen to let everyone know that he has an IQ of 166. And perhaps it means that his job prospects are going to improve. Currently working in the lower echelons of a bakery, Lumsdon has his eyes set on the top as the titular climber. Disastrous attempts at becoming a van salesman for the bakery soon see him being promoted/shunted into an office position before he finds some sense of regularity as a salesman. And, if can keep it up, there's the chance of winning Salesman of the Year and a trip to Barbados. Written by Alex Shearer, the series consisted of six episode which went out in early 1983.

46. L for Lester - BBC2 - 1982

Brian Murphy has been a foundation of British comedy for more decades than you can shake a stick at. And, accordingly, some of his programmes are better remembered than others. L for Lester is one that has slipped most people's memories, if it was even there in the first place. Lester Small (Brian Murphy) makes his living as a driving instructor. However, this living is only made possible thanks to his generous bank manager Mr Davies (Richard Vernon). Most of Lester's lessons end in minor road accidents, but one of his clients is Mrs Davies and Mr Davies is far from keen on teaching her himself. Therefore, Lester manages to, against the odds, keep his business going. Meanwhile, Lester has a set of baby twins at home who, along with Lester's wife Sally (Amanda Barrie), spend most of their time socialising in the kitchen with Bert (Colin Spaull) the milkman.

47. Poor Little Rich Girls - ITV - 1984

Despite a wealthy upbringing, cousins Kate Codd (Maria Aitken) and Daisy Troop (Jill Bennett) have struggled to find value in the world of romance. Both of Kate's marriages have ended in divorce and she is now 'slumming' it in a Manchester basement flat with Sidney, her pet snake. Luckily for Kate, the theatre loving handyman Dave Roberts (Richard Walker) lives nearby and undertake various jobs around the flat for her. Daisy, meanwhile, has entered into marriage three times and, rather unluckily, has been widowed thrice with her latest husband Gerald being trampled to death by a giraffe. As a result of this most recent stress, Daisy accepts Kate's invite to move in with her. And maybe, just maybe, they will be able to find a man worthy of restoring their riches. The seven episodes were written by Charles Laurence, but the initial idea came from Aitken and Bennett.

48. Mann's Best Friends - Channel 4 - 1985

Roy Clarke is another of those legends of British TV who, despite all the hits, has still managed to write a few sitcoms that only a minority have heard of. Falling into this category is Mann's Best Friends. Hamish James Ordway (Fulton Mackay) has taken early retirement from the water board and needs somewhere to live. And this is how Hamish - an interfering busybody of some repute - comes to lodge at The Laurels, a creaky accommodation owned by Henry Mann (Barry Stanton). The Laurels has a tendency to welcome an unusual and unruly crowd - chinese waiters, potential prostitutes and the occasional animal - so Henry, aware of Hamish's authoritarian streak, offers Hamish free board in return for keeping an eye on the guests.

49. Dogfood Dan and the Carmarthen Cowboy - BBC2 - 1988

Writer David Nobbs first introduced the world to Dogfood Dan and the Carmarthen Cowboy in 1982 when it appeared as a one-off installment of ITV's Playhouse. Fast forward six years, and over to BBC2, and it was time for Dogfood Dan to become a full series. Dan Milton (Malcolm Storry) and Aubrey Owen (Peter Blake) are lorry drivers who drive dog food across the country. Meeting in a roadside cafe, the pair get chatting. Dan, also known as Dogfood Dan, hails from Hull where he’s married to Helen (Elizabeth Mickery). Aubrey aka the Carmarthen Cowboy resides in Carmarthen with his wife Gwyneth (Arbel Jones). And, coincidentally, they deliver dog food to each others home town on the same day. Tipping each other off on the best places to meet women in their home towns, Dan and Aubrey head out to start affairs. And, with startling ease, they each embark on one almost instantly. The only problem is that, unbeknownst to them, it’s with each other’s wife. 

50. Lame Ducks - BBC2 - 1984 to 85

After being knocked down by a lorry full of turnips, Brian Drake (John Duttine) awakes in hospital to find that his wife Jean (Primi Townsend) is leaving him. Usually a man of great sobriety and restraint, Brian decides that he's had enough of society. And it's time to become a hermit. Along with the permanently-chilly ex-arsonist Tommy (Patric Turner), who he meets in hospital, he heads out to find his perfect hermitage. But Brian isn't going to be on his own. Also joining his retreat from society are Angie (Lorraine Chase) with a string of relationships behind her, ex-postman Maurice (Tony Millan) who plans to walk around the world on an inflatable ball and Ansell (Brian Murphy) who is a private detective with an array of allergies. The two series, written by Peter J Hammond, find this gaggle of misfits stopping first at Tangledown Cottage and, when this collapses, moving on to Stutterton Stop station.

So, how many of these did you remember? And which ones have you never heard of, but really fancy watching? Oh, and which other obscure British TV comedies from the 1980s can you recommend? Please leave your answers to all of these questions in the comments below.

London is Drowning concerns itself with an unprecedented disaster that even human ingenuity is unable to stem the tide of. It is, however, far removed from the very real disaster that coronavirus is. But there are still aspects of London is Drowning which chime with a disturbing prescience.

A member of the Play for Today stable, London is Drowning aired on BBC1 in October 1981. Scripting the play was Graham Williams, best known for producing three series of Tom Baker's tenure as Doctor Who in the late 1970s. And it was a play for which the transmission date made the content all the more enthralling. Centering, as you can imagine, on a scenario where London floods, it taps into the environmental movement of the 1970s. More pertinently, London is Drowning aired roughly a year before the launch of the Thames Barrier.

I can't remember when I first heard of London is Drowning. I certainly didn't watch it upon its single transmission due to my recurring inability to have been born. And I delve through so many texts regarding archive television that they all blur into an amalgam of red, green, blue and Radio Times covers. Nonetheless, I read about it somewhere and it sounded intriguing. The few mentions I could find of the series online referred to it as a docudrama on a flooded London. This got my pulse racing. It sounded like Threads, but wetter. And, eventually, I managed to watch a copy.


The play focuses upon two concurrent storylines which are vaguely connected to each other thanks to good old fashioned infidelity. Opening during a presentation on the importance of the soon to be launched Thames Barrier, London is Drowning first introduces us to the perceptive Dodds (David Neal). And Dodds is not happy that the Thames Barrier is not already active. But due to his position, the head of an unnamed flood control board, he can't exactly grouse in public about this. So this is where Pieter (George Roubicek) comes into play. With first hand experience of devastating floods in his Dutch homeland, Pieter chastises London's lack of flood drills and preparation.


And it's Pieter who connects the first storyline with the second. In between discourses on the importance of flood control he is conducting an affair with Clare (Susan Tracy). A graphic designer, currently tasked with designing posters warning about the impact of floods, Clare comes from a large family in Bermondsey. However, family matters are far from rosy for Clare. Following her divorce she has become estranged from her family. This estrangement, mostly empowered by her mother (Elizabeth Bradley), stems from the fact she hadn't informed her family she was married. And this is why the only way she can keep in touch with her beloved father (Arthur Whybrow) is via post.


Clare's parents and siblings are positioned in the play as proponents of normality. And, in all honesty, they are the victims of matters unfolding at a much higher level. Arthur (Colin Prockter) is a reliable staff member of the London Underground with a penchant for model trains. Joyce (Veronica Doran), still living at home, is heavily pregnant. Gerry (Anthony Heaton) is a sharp-suited car dealer with a stream of stolen Granadas and Cavaliers coming through his doors. And, finally, there's Frank (Douglas McFerran), a well-meaning son who is struggling with unemployment brought on by the global slump.

With strong gales and weather conditions combining to create rising sea levels, Dodds is becoming increasingly concerned by tidal predictions. He has, of course, voiced his concerns to the government before, but Dodds' department has been the victim of numerous cuts. With predictions spelling disaster for the Thames, a Flood Control Centre is established shortly before warning sirens begin sounding. As Clare's family begin to take shelter, however, Gerry decides to take advantage of the situation and hatches a plan to shift two of his hottest motors - a Rolls Royce and a Lotus - out of London with the help of Frank. But water is already beginning to rise up from the drains.


So, what's London is Drowning like? Well, first off, I have to report that it's nothing like Threads. And it's far from a docudrama, it's pure drama. What the two plays do have in common though is their initial structure. Both commence with only the gentlest of burbles that disaster is on the horizon. And this simmering discord is pushed to the background as more political and domestic matters take centre stage. Threads, of course, takes in the beginning, the middle and the aftermath of a massive catastrophe, but London is Drowning comes to a close just as disaster strikes. And this is a shame as it's an absorbing and powerful play.

Graham Williams worked mostly as a producer and script editor, but London is Drowning showcases his skills as a writer. Mixing satire and fierce drama, it's a play that demands your attention without the need for action packed set pieces or hysterical plots. Instead the inevitable, and the title alone is enough to indicate where it's heading, denouement builds with a pleasing pace. Dodds' scenes, mostly spent observing tide measuring devices and making predictions, are sedate affairs, but they gently crank up the urgency of the narrative. The same can be said for the domestic scenes which, at first, appear to be little more than an essay on the minutiae of familial affairs. But, in fact, they're laying the groundwork for both family reunions and family disasters.


The script is also keen to criticise both political models and the human condition. Vast swathes of Dodds' narrative are given over to directly attacking government cuts. Something to minimise the flood could have been put in place, but, to win votes, ministers cut Dodds' budgets to implement anything effective. Parliament, of course, demands answers from Dodds, but they are far from receptive to his reasoning. Likewise, Jerry takes advantage of the unfolding disaster to line his pockets, but it's an exercise of greed and dishonesty which is only matched by its failure. Eerily, the play reflects many of the contemporary matters of the coronavirus age. Admittedly, this could be said of almost any disaster narrative, but it feels all the more real at the moment.

Acting wise, there are strong performances throughout which epitomise the Play for Today model. David Neal, George Roubicek and Anthony Heaton are the pick of the bunch, an accolade which is made all the more possible by their three dimensional characters. A number of the other characters, Joyce and Frank for example, add little to the play and act mostly as shadows to the others. That's not to undermine their ability, it's more a negative result of cramming so many characters into a 70-minute play. A longer script, perhaps one which examined the aftermath, could have provided more for these peripheral characters. But, in reality, the prospect of filming a drowning London would have been restricted by both budgets and effects of the day.

As with the vast majority of the Play for Today catalogue, London is Drowning is likely to remain forgotten as it collects dust in the BBC's archives. But it's an absorbing watch that contains important lessons which, as a society, we appear unable to take control of and learn from. In the mean time, stay safe and, just in case, keep your armbands handy.

Post-apocalyptic narratives have a tendency to be indebted to a catastrophic event. Popular choices range from deadly pandemics through to nuclear attacks and the emergence of zombie killers. These flashpoints need to be dramatic to leave humanity hanging on by a thread and create the drama required to hook in the viewers. It’s not a dynamic which immediately lends itself to comedy, but this doesn’t mean it should be off-limits. Comedy is capable of taking on each and every genre of storytelling and that’s why it’s such a versatile form. And maybe it can be achieved Not With a Bang but with a very British take on the genre.

Scientists have managed to isolate the factor behind the aging process in humans and can now synthesise the chemical responsible. Judith Hann (playing herself) is showcasing the potential of this highly volatile chemical on an edition of The World Tomorrow. But warns that no one has, as of yet, figured out how to stabilise it. And then she knocks a bottle of it off a table. As it escapes into the atmosphere it vaporises everyone on the face of the planet. At least, it vaporises almost everyone. For, over in the village of Merebridge, there are two survivors desperately reaching out for help.

Brian (Ronald Pickup) – head of History at the local school – survived the apocalypse as he was hermetically sealed in a booth as he answered questions, on the works of Trollope, for The White Hart in the regional final of a pub quiz league. His companion, for the last 12 months since society disappeared, is Colin (Stephen Rea). Previously a signwriter, with no idea who Trollope is, Colin was taking part in a sponsored dive for his beloved Barrow rugby league club when Judith Hann ended life as he knew it. Emerging from the water, Colin found that everyone was gone. And now he’s stuck with Brian.

For the last year, aside from eating fish almost every evening, Brian and Colin have hoped to find fellow survivors. But, despite frequent broadcasts over a rather pitiful taxi radio, they’ve drawn radio silence and nothing more. Thankfully, they aren’t the only survivors. Graham (Mike Grady) and Janet Wilkins (Josie Lawrence) were potholing in the Mendips and avoided the threat of vaporisation. And their jaunt around the country looking for survivors has led them to Merebridge. Despite them accidentally running their car into him, Brian is overjoyed as loft conversion expert Graham and housewife Janet represent the future of a new society. The only problem is that Graham’s coming up short in the one department required for repopulation.

Mike Walling and Tony Millan had previously collaborated on black comedy A Small Problem and Not with a Bang - aired in 1990 - represented their next full-scale venture together. The series was an LWT production – their logo emblazoned cameras are visible in the first episode – with the episodes making their home in the Saturday 10pm slot. Robin Carr, who had previous production credits for Allo, Allo, Hi-de-Hi and The Two of Us, came on board as the director for all seven episodes. There was no repeat transmission for Not with a Bang, but, curiously, LWT decided to commission a commercial release. This was not, however, of the actual series. Instead a 7” vinyl of the theme tune by Rod Argent and Peter Van Hooke was released and backed with The Piglet Files theme tune.

The gentle, rolling beauty of Argent and Van Hooke’s theme tune is far removed from the traditional savagery and rawness of post-apocalyptic fiction. And this is a genre which British television has excelled in over the decades. The War Game, Survivors, The Day of the Triffids and Threads have all demonstrated a sublime grasp of the horrors and drama awaiting within. But comedies set within these environments have been in short supply. So it’s a case of kudos to Walling and Millan for taking on this challenge. And their approach is one which centres Not with a Bang in the sanctity of a cosy British village rather than the traditional crumbling, plague filled cities usually seen on screen.

A well-balanced combination of conventional philosophy, from the cultured lectures of Brian, and a blunter, simpler homespun brand of logic from Colin, Not with a Bang thrives upon the odd couple dynamic. Sure, Graham and Janet probably err towards Brian’s sensibilities, but the main tensions come from Brian and Colin’s different opinions on their predicament. Brian’s pomposity allows him to elevate himself to an almost divine-like position as one of the “chosen ones” charged with constructing a better take on society. Colin meanwhile is mostly just irked that his old drinking partner Dave Perry is no longer around to help him sink pints and chat up women.

Brian and Colin’s lengthy and numerous two-handers in The Red Lion and during their hillside vigils make room for both insight into the human condition and the ease with which pontification can be punctured for comedic effect. A little too much time is invested in these sections and the end ‘summing up’ sections do become formulaic, but this is countered by the comedic strength which Graham and Janet bring. Perhaps a partial inspiration for the series’ title, The Wilkins’ efforts to produce offspring have been not been going with a bang. Janet’s biological urge to bear children, and her need to repopulate the world, drives her to pursuing Brian’s help in achieving this objective and delivers the series’ biggest laughs.

Not With a Bang comes up rather short when it comes to concrete plots, in fact, they too appear to have been wiped off the face of the planet. Much of the action is focused on two-handers between the two camps with the only significant plot centred around Brian transforming The Red Lion into an arts centre. Which he achieves with few obstacles. Nonetheless, the pottering-around-Merebridge is engaging thanks to the cast’s superb performances. Ronald Pickup and Stephen Rea deliver highly nuanced takes on post-apocalyptic versions of Foggy Dewhurst and Compo Simmonite. Keeping the Last of the Summer Wine connection going is the steady comedic hand of Mike Grady and Josie Lawrence, as glorious as ever, exudes a joyfully twee confidence as the politely unhinged Janet.

With more drive and adventure to the episodes, Not With a Bang could have made a strong contender for post-apocalyptic comedy poster boy. Yes, the post-apocalyptic nature is only really evident from the lack of survivors and, after a year of dwindling supplies and no means of electricity, everyone is a little too neat and tidy, but it taps into the comedic alchemy of trapping people together. The comedy on offer is an engaging strain which straddles the gap between broad and cosy, so episodes should easily gift you a smile as they unfold. It may not be a programme which is likely to see the light of day again, but Not With a Bang is worth seeking out.

One of my favourite television programmes as a pre-schooler was ITV's lunchtime children's programme Let's Pretend. With a firm footing in the world of imagination, Let's Pretend demonstrated how the mind could be unshackled to create anything. And in the 1980s, with no YouTube to rot the brain in a smorgasbord of toddler-based memes and toy promotions reviews, children had to rely on making their own entertainment. The show was a big hit with myself, but despite running for seven years between 1982 - 89, few people reference it in the wider discussion on children's television. 

Naturally, I jumped at the chance to write about it for one of my books - that specific section is reproduced here - and covered the outline of the series fairly comprehensively. So, there's not really any need for me to regurgitate that information again. However, when I wrote my book, footage of the series was curiously hard to source, despite just over 200 episodes being produced. I managed to track down a few at some television archives, but that was it. Thankfully, since then, a few have made their way on to YouTube. And this has provided me with an ideal opportunity to not only write a few, short articles reviewing them, but to also carve my Let's Pretend outpost of fandom a little more indelibly into the information superhighway's surface. So, on with the first one...

The Singer Who Lost his Voice - written by Denis Bond -  aired on the 18th August 1986 and, as with all episodes of Let's Pretend, features three pretenders. This particular edition features the clean cut, popstar looks of Patrick Pearson, master of the piano Neal Swettenham and "for a moment there I thought it was Christopher Villiers but actually it's" Michael Bray. All three made multiple appearances on Let's Pretend and continued appearing in televisual roles over the following decade and a bit. And, like virtually all the pretenders that popped up in Let's Pretend, they're fine actors capable of delivering confident performances and exuding a warmth pitched perfectly for children's television.

So, yes, good actors. But what about the actual episode? Starting midway through a conversation about the wonders of cheese and tomato sandwiches ("put a bit of salt on" suggests a salivating Bray), the episode begins with all three pretenders sat around a table. I'm not sure if it's ever established where this table is, but we'll call it the Let's Pretend house for simplicity. Anyway, all of a sudden, a piece of black paper descends from the heavens and onto the table. Keen to get the creative juices flowing, the pretenders start improvising with the paper by fashioning it into a witch's hat and a telescope before deciding it's best used as a megaphone.

With the megaphone 'prop' established it's time to hop across to the piano where we're treated to a rendition of What Can a Singer Do? Swettenham tinkles the ivories with a jazzy aplomb whilst Pearson and Bray accompany him with lyrics such as "If a cow lost his voice and couldn't go moo *MOO* and if a cockerel couldn't cock-a-doodle-doo, what would he do?"and "The worst thing to go wrong is a singer who can't sing a song when he's lost his voice and doesn't know what to do". It all sounds much better when performed. Believe me. Anyway, as Swettenham announces, it's now time to watch this week's play. And, as Pearson and Bray quickly scarper away to get ready, the red curtains (complete with emblems of the Let's Pretend caterpillar) are raised and it's time for The Singer Who Lost His Voice. 

The play opens, as per usual, with an illustrated character transitioning into a fully functioning actual human being homosapien real person. And, this week, the honour falls to Pearson who is wearing a dinner suit in his role of the singer. He's busy practicing his scales assiduously for, this evening, he has a very important show. But, unfortunately, he practices too hard and his voice soon becomes as croaky as the oldest frog in the pond. Rather fortuitously, a doctor (played by Bray) turns up at this point and prescribes him a period of rest and silence. The singer decides to head to the countryside where he hopes his voice will get better. Along the way, however, he'll encounter cabbage sellers, cockerels and farmers who all have some helpful advice for him.

It's a classic Let's Pretend production with a minimum of props and a rather generous helping of whimsy. It's certainly a low-budget affair - check out the green sheets draped over chairs to depict a hillside with cardboard cutout sheep stuck on top - but the imagination of a preschooler, in the mid-80s, needed little else. The premise of a singer wandering through the countryside and being educated on the brilliance of a firm cabbage may sound peculiar, but it's infused with a such a pleasing simplicity and joie de vivre that it's irresistibly charming. Another winning edition of Let's Pretend then (although the Pipkin's fanbase will forever hate it for replacing Hartley Hare in the schedules) and hopefully it won't be the last one featured on here.

If you do, of course, have any old episodes of Let's Pretend stashed away on VHS tapes then please get in touch via curiousbritishtelly@gmail.com. There are still precious few episodes online and it would be great to get some more digitised and uploaded. Also, the majority of the first series is missing from the archives, so it would be even more amazing to find some of those!

In what can only be described as a ridiculous pursuit, I recently Googled "Chock-a-Block merchandise" in the hope that it would somehow reveal that there was indeed a 1982 Chock-a-Block annual. But it didn't. As there never was any Chock-a-Block merchandise released. However, the internet is full of enterprising and creative individuals, so there is some merchandise available. It may not be official, but this doesn't necessarily stop it being amazing. And this is best demonstrated by a particularly creative individual on Redbubble who has designed a lovingly accurate Chock-a-Block illustration.

You can buy it printed onto virtually anything: socks, posters and, I'm not even lying, shower curtains. Stepping out of a Chock-a-Block shower curtain isn't something I've ever considered and, to be truthful, I think it would be a folly too far even for me. But, nestled away in the listings, there was a suitably brilliant mug which espoused nostalgic wonder and instantly had me humming the legendary theme tune. So, I bought it and two days later it was here.

You can find the mug - and all the other variations of the design - over here. 

Neil Miles is a man who, much like myself, enjoys delving through piles of old videotapes in search of long forgotten footage. And his excellent YouTube channel recently delivered an intriguing slice of late night television in the form of a BBC engineering test from 1987.

Airing several minutes after BBC2 had closed down for the evening, this engineering test was clearly meant as an in-house test rather than an entertaining spectacle. But it's such an unusual broadcast that it can't help but be an entertaining spectacle. If, for whatever reason you were still up during the wee hours, stumbling across this scrambled footage would have been a disarming experience. It looks like TV, but it's not exactly TV as we know it. So, what was it?

Unfortunately, the specifics of these engineering tests aren't documented particularly well in the public domain. However, it's believed that these scrambled tests were early steps in developing encrypted programming to air on BBC2. Initially, starting in 1988, British Medical Television would provide programming that would air early in the morning on BBC2. These programmes were encrypted, but would be unscrambled and 'downloaded' to subscribers' video recorders. A few years later, in 1992, this service would be expanded into BBC Select which also offered specialised programming for teachers, legal professionals and businesses.

Whereas BBC Select was encrypted with the VideoCrypt technology - which rendered the images completely scrambled - the earlier engineering tests provided an image which was fuzzy, yet recognisable and most likely used the Discret11 system. And this allows us to vaguely make out the footage being employed in the test. A nature documentary, a 1970s BBC ident, Pan's People, athletics and some form of period drama all feature and indicate that the BBC were curious as to what exactly their proposed encryption system could deal with.

Ultimately, entertainment was off the cards as the service was reserved purely for programming related to professional trades. And, indeed, the service was far from successful with BBC Select closing down after three years in 1995. But these engineering tests are valuable and curious insights into the mindset of the BBC in the late 1980s. Clearly, a subscription based model appealed to the executives at Television Centre and hints at the kind of future they were planning for their platform. It didn't quite work out but, by 1997, 24-hour broadcasting had arrived on both BBC1 and 2, so the small hours were finally filled.

Bonus Reading: A few years ago, I found a similarly bizarre piece of footage which appears to be some form of engineering test and you can read more about it - and watch it - here.

Time flies when you're furloughed and in the middle of yet another lockdown, so it's no surprise that the launch date for issue 3 of the Curious British Telly fanzine is here. Yes, that's right, to prove that the first two were no flash in the pans, we're back with a third issue. And, dare I say it, it may well be the best one yet.

The whole gamut of British television can be found within these 40 pages and there is, quite literally (if you, in a non-literal manner, stretch the definition of literally) something for everyone. I'm over the moon that, a few years after learning about the existence of pirate television stations in the 1980s, I've secured an exclusive interview with one of these pirates. Thomas was one of the founders of NeTWork 21 and, for several months in 1986, served up a brand of arts-based programming which had never been seen before or since. And that's not all. I've also carried out some detailed research on a Regional Oddity in the form of Mag is Mog, a children's programme which was produced entirely in Gaelic and aired only on BBC Scotland. 

It's not just myself contributing to the fanzine. I do, of course, have a couple of loyal contributors who have provided some amazing content. Jon Dear has written a fantastic article on the long forgotten Ghosts anthology series from 1995, which includes an exclusive chat with writer Stephen Volk and director Lesley Manning (that's right, the duo who put 1992's infamous Ghostwatch together). And Prof. Neil Martin has delved deep into the Radio Times to highlight the hilarious spoof listings created for Not the Nine O'Clock News. 

However, there's much more than just these four articles. The complete contents are:

If you're interested in a copy of issue three (or the previous two issues) then just send email me at curiousbritishtelly@gmail.com and let me know where to email a PayPal invoice. UK only for now.

P.s. Yes, issue three also contains a dot-to-dot puzzle.

P.p.s Dot-to-dot puzzles are surprisingly frustrating to design. But worth it.

P.p.p.s If you're interested in contributing an article then please get in touch with some ideas and writing samples. A free copy awaits anyone who gets their article published.

 

I'm now happy, after learning that someone has been sending the fanzine onto a relative in Thailand and it arriving in one piece, to offer international shipping on the Curious British Telly fanzine. So, if you're outside of the UK and interested in a copy or two (or three) then please send an email to curiousbritishtelly@gmail.com and I'll work out some postage costs. Details on the contents of the three issues can be found here, here and here.

And many thanks to everyone who has bought a copy so far. Work on issue four has already begun...

As the title suggests, the Curious British Telly fanzine is here! A nod to the world of old school fanzines and a physical extension of this very blog, the Curious British Telly fanzine contains reviews, interviews, features, a big quiz and even a bit of art. All the content is exclusive to the fanzine and will remain a print-only experience. The full contents are as per below:

If you're interested in this hand printed, hand stapled and hand delivered (by a postman) publication then it's available for £3.50 (inc P&P). Just send an email to curiousbritishtelly@gmail.com and let me know where to send a PayPal invoice. It's currently only available in the UK, but if you are abroad then let me know your location and I'll look into postage costs.

And, best of all, a number of the articles have come from a number of other writers to make this a proper community experience. If you're interested in submitting something for issue two (no specific date planned for this yet) then email me your ideas - the brief is pretty simple: anything celebratory about British television's past.

Magic is, as we all know, an illusion. But it’s a distracting illusion and one that we all wish was real. That’s why it’s perfect for the world of fiction. Anything is possible when the shackles of reality and physics are discarded. Cauldrons can come to life, dragons can be treated to never ending bottles of lemonade and magicians can transport grass cuttings across the universe. It may sound a world away from the blockbuster adventures of a boy wizard, but life is just as enchanting down Puddle Lane.

Down at the bottom of Puddle Lane there is a grand, expansive mansion. And living inside there is a quite extraordinary character. The Magician (Neil Innes), clad in regulation flowing robes, is a master of magic and more than capable of conjuring up the impossible. Even a humble sneeze from the Magician is blessed with enough magic to summon up Toby Spelldragon. Together, with the help of the magical Cauldron and Aunt Flo (Kate Lee), the Magician and Toby are here to explore the world around them and develop reading skills.

The first series of Puddle Lane takes place purely within the Magician’s spell room, but later series expand this universe into the gazebo and the garden. These additional locations also bring with them additional characters such as Snodgrass the snake, Mr Hooter the owl, Barrel and Spencer the spider. Regardless of the location, the Magician and his friends always have their hands full. The Magician’s vests and socks are in need of a good wash, Toby dreams of flying through the air and Maple Mouse needs help with her levels of bravery.

Magic is at the forefront of Puddle Lane and it’s with magic that the Magician tackles his many problems. But it’s not as simple as simply waving a magic wand. The Magician has a specific spell casting process which must be followed. First, items relevant to the spell must be placed in Cauldron or Barrel. Secondly, the magic tune of “Pom! Pom! Pom Pom! Pom!” must be sung. Thirdly, the magic claps must echo out. And, finally, the magic rhyme of “Muddle Puddle! Puddle Muddle!” must be chanted to action the spell.

In amongst all this conjuring there’s still time for the magic of literacy. Each story contained within Puddle Lane either takes place down by a puddle in the spell room or the bird bath in the garden. All the Magician has to do is swirl his finger in the water and the illustrated stories begin. The majority of these stories look at the inhabitants of Puddle Lane, such as Old Mrgotobed and his leaky roof, but there’s also time for the adventures of the Iron Boy and the Sandalwood Girl in the land of Zorn.

Puddle Lane was inspired by the Ladybird Books reading scheme created and written by Sheila K. McCullagh. Yorkshire Television's adaptation of McCullagh's stories was spread across four series and ran in the ITV lunchtime slot between 1985 - 89. Just over a hundred episodes were produced with Rick Vanes adapting the stories and adding new layers and characters to the mix. The theme tune, which sounds very much like an instrumental of The Bonzo Dog Doo Dah Band's song Love is a Cylindrical Piano, was recorded by Neil Innes. Rick Vanes recalls how the series came into being:

"Lesley Rogers - a producer at Yorkshire - was contacted by Ladybird Books who had published the Puddle Lane books by Sheila McCullagh. There was interest in doing a television series and it was a good deal for Yorkshire given the existing publicity surrounding the books. Lesley had been the producer on Get Up and Go! which I had written for and, as I was her favoured writer, she asked me to take a look at the books. I then came up with my own format for the books. I took the Magician, who was one of McCullagh's characters, and paired him up with Toby Spelldragon, a puppet performed by Richard Robinson. We also needed another adult character, so this is where we developed and added Aunt Flo.

Sheila McCullagh didn't have a great amount of input in to the adaptation, but she did use to attend meetings. And she gave the format her blessing. Her stories were lifted exactly and put in the middle of the episodes. The only time she became more involved was when it had been running for a while and she did some more books. These lifted elements of the television series and she placed Toby into one of them. She had a new batch of stories coming along anyway and this was mostly why she used to attend meetings"

Kate Lee remembers her initial entry into the Puddle Lane family:

"I was invited to meet the production team (Mike Harris and co) through my agent, so it was a normal run of the mill television interview. And it was a lovely interview with lovely people, we laughed a lot. And, at the time, I was a happy new mum with young children - a nice characteristic for Aunt Flo. Originally, I was only down to perform as Aunt Flo; narrating the stories came later. After we had started rehearsals, they mentioned that they needed a story reader. I jumped in with “I could do that!” I'm not usually so confident at putting myself forward, but had a good track record of BBC radio drama and voice-overs. I had to audition for Sheila McCullagh; she was involved in every decision made – fortunately she liked my style. I went on to record all the Puddle Lane cassette tapes for Pickwick International"

Puddle Lane is the perfect example of a lunchtime children’s show from the 1980s. Songs, stories and puppets all combine with a charming ease to deliver 15 minutes of simple joy. And with Rick Vanes at the helm, coming off the back of five series of Get Up and Go! and Mooncat and Co, it’s executed perfectly. Not surprisingly, Puddle Lane is well remembered; the series even garnered a slot in Children’s ITV’s ‘Old Skool Weekend’ in 2013. But a comprehensive look at the series has remained elusive. Until now.

The structure of Puddle Lane may not be markedly different to its contemporaries, but it’s the content which marks it out. And it all starts with the foundations put in place by Sheila McCullagh’s stories. As with Tim and the Hidden People – her 1970s reading scheme – the stories of Puddle Lane mix intriguing characters such as the Wideawake Mouse and the Gruffle with magical narratives. And, with education in mind, these narratives translate into the television series as a lesson in literacy.

Following the conclusion of each of McCullagh’s stories, the Magician and Toby conduct a quick exercise in language. It’s far from intense, limited to condensing the stories down to a few sentences and writing out the words, but there’s enough to stimulate young minds. Preschoolers aren’t expected to begin primary school with a comprehensive knowledge of literacy, so Puddle Lane acts as a worthy stepping stone. And, all these years later, many parents (and their children) fondly remember the educational impact of the series.

When it comes to the entertainment aspect of the series, Rick Vanes’ contribution is crucial. Only the Magician featured in McCullagh’s original books, so the rest of the characters on screen are courtesy of Vanes’ knack for creating memorable characters. Gently lowered into mini-narratives, looking at concepts such as measurements and diaries, these characters engage the viewers with a string of gags and learning. It sounds a simple formula, but crafting a level of simplicity which engages on screen is a tall order.

Equal to Vanes’ and McCullagh’s contribution are the performances summoned up by the cast. Neil Innes is a coup for the series and, despite his limited acting experience, he makes the role his own. And, as you would imagine, he brings a whole new dimension to Vanes’ lyrics for the songs. Kate Lee, whose involvement grows throughout the series, blossoms as warm, friendly Aunt Flo and leaves you wondering why she didn’t star in more children’s television. Finally, Richard Robinson brings a menagerie of regional accents to the puppets to back up his respected puppet skills.

Focusing on Neil Innes, for a second, Rick Vanes has nothing but fond memories of working with the great man:

"Mike Harris, the producer, was a huge fan of  The Bonzo Dog Doo-Dah Band and I think he suggested that Neil Innes would be a good choice for the Magician. Mike was in awe of him, so I'm sure that must have been an influence. Neil had done a few acting bits in Monty Python and, though it wasn't his main forte, he did alright. And he really helped with the music. I'd write the lyrics to a song for each episode along with a rough tune, but I'm not a musician. So Neil would take these lyrics and write music to them. It was always a delight in the rehearsal rooms when Neil would breeze in and sing these songs for the first time. I'd seen The Bonzos live when I was younger and I thought they were amazing. And all of a sudden I'm receiving songwriting royalties for Innes/Vanes compositions. It was fantastic!"

I was keen to find out how Kate Lee brought life to the Aunt Flo character and, of course, what it was like working with her fellow performers:

"The initial brief was pretty open. I was told they had had Diana Dors in mind, so a much more BIG character. Not sure how serious that was, but it stayed with me and I felt rather intimidated by it. By the time I arrived at my first rehearsal, they had all been rehearsing for a while. I was told to make it my own, so, to be honest, I think I ended up doing a tame version of Mary Poppins to start with! Looking back now, I can't believe how posh I sound! But standard English has relaxed quite a lot since the 1980s. In series one I think she was only in half the episodes, but then they wrote her into all the episodes. Her character softened and warmed up a lot as I relaxed into the part. 

Both Neil Innes and Richard Robinson were awesomely creative. With that comes challenges too: perfectionism and idea upon idea! Neil's musicianship was wonderful to watch. He had a lovely, warm sense of humour. His sense of silliness was perfect for the child audience who he treated as absolute equals. Nothing was patronising. That's what I loved about the show. Rick Vanes' writing led the way and Neil and Richard were on the same wavelength. Brilliant casting by the producer Mike Harris. Neil performed some fantastic songs. They were underestimated I think. I didn't appreciate, at the start, how brilliant Richard Robinson was. But I soon began to understand the sheer genius of bringing a piece of rubber to life. Richard also had a non-patronising attitude. 1000% professional. Both of their creative contributions were immense"

And, for Kate Lee, working on Puddle Lane is an experience she will never forget:

"It was a dream job. Puddle Lane was pitched at preschool children – the same age as my children who were one and three when it started. I would go to 'Leebs' - as my little one called Leeds - for two weeks and we would film half a series. We would then return a few months later for another two weeks of filming. As a jobbing actor the regularity of work for those four years was heaven – every episode was repeated, so double the money! The whole team from wardrobe, production, techies, directors, producers and writers was lovely. Like a big friendship group.

It also led on to a couple of other nice jobs too. I became the voice of Smart Alice for Bellamy's Bugle and Pickwick International used me to read a lot of other children's stories. The lovely thing about being in children's TV is that you become a memorable part of those children's lives. Billie Piper once said that one of her favourite childhood memories was going home from playgroup with her mum (and a bag of fish and chips) to watch Puddle Lane. A few years ago I was coaching a now very famous BBC news presenter, when I mentioned that I was in Puddle Lane, she exploded with excitement and phoned her Mum!"

Quite why I haven't covered Puddle Lane on here up until now is somewhat of a mystery. It was easily one of my favourite programmes when I was a preschooler. Not only was it satisfying in terms of entertainment but, just at it was for everyone watching, Puddle Lane was an important step in my early education. Coupled with the book series, Puddle Lane acts as an introductory step into the world of reading and literature. And it’s all bolstered by the wonderful, charming action on screen. Using magic as its hook, Puddle Lane ferments an intriguing brew in its cauldron which, many years later, still enchants.

There’s something ridiculously satisfying about a pie. Crisp, flaky pastry giving way to thick gravy which envelops the senses alongside juicy morsels of meat is unbeatable. Vegetarian pies are just as appetising, there’s no diet prejudice here. Whatever your tastes, the end result is the same: a fuzzy feeling of warmth and security. It’s an experience which isn’t a million miles away from the nostalgic rush of watching decades old children’s television. But what happens if you combine the two? Extreme satisfaction to the power of two? Well, thanks to the passing of time, it’s more than possible with a slice of Pie in the Sky.

Universal Pies is a pie shop – housed within a giant pie dish building – which is proudly run by Pie Man (David Hargreaves) and Pie Wife (Chloe Ashcroft). Renowned for their world-beating pies, Pie Man and Pie Wife accompany their baking with an endless stream of songs. And the sounds of these songs, along with the smells of the pies, have made it all the way into outer space. Here they have been received by the planet Pie, a world where there are no songs for the Pie children. And this is why the Pie Pilot (Ben Thomas) has been sent down to Earth.

Hovering above the Earth in his pie ship, the Pie Pilot communicates with Universal Pies through a curious ‘rolling-pin video receiver’ he has gifted to Pie Man. It’s via this device that the Pie Pilot requests a song-filled pie. The song in question is inspired by whichever song Pie Man and Pie Wife are singing that day e.g. The Grand Old Duke of York or Old Mother Hubbard. Before any baking can commence, though, they need a special pie dish. So, hopping on his bike, Pie Man cycles over to a nearby hill where the Pie Pilot beams down a pie dish to fill.

Once Pie Man has returned to Universal Pies it’s time to start making the pie with Pie Wife. And they waste little time in heading straight to the pastry cutter box to start. So, for example, if they need to fill a pie with Hickory Dickory Dock, they dig out a ‘mouse’ and ‘clock’ cutter. With the pastry shapes cut, it’s time for a quick performance of that episode’s song. These performances range from shadow puppet displays through to glove puppets and even ballroom dancing mice. Once the song is completed it is fed into a pie, through a pie funnel, and deemed ready for delivery to the Pie Pilot.

Whilst Pie Man jumps back on his bike and heads out it’s time for Pie Wife to admire the pies in the shop window. “If my pies could move, if my pies could speak, which of my pies would be pie of the week?” she wonders before a particular pie is treated to a short performance piece e.g. a star gazing dandy admiring the stars in honour of stargazy pie. Then, as the episode draws to a close, Pie Man returns from delivering the pie to the Pie Pilot. But he doesn’t return empty handed. The Pie Pilot is so grateful for his pies that he always sends back a present such as a bath hat or an elephant’s trunk.

The first episode of Pie in the Sky aired on the 15th September 1986 at 3.55pm as part of the Children's BBC schedule. In total, 13 episodes were produced with the initial idea being devised by Chloe Ashcroft and Peter Gosling. As with many BBC children's productions of the era, Michael Cole was in place as the series producer, but Sharon Miller was also on hand to act as producer. Following the series' initial run in 1986, Pie in the Sku moved to the lunchtime SeeSaw slot on BBC1 where it was repeated until the summer of 1991.

Curious to find out a little bit more about the production, I got in touch with the Pie Pilot himself, Ben Thomas. And he was only too happy to share these memories:

"Pie in the Sky was an absolute joy to work on, and at the time a complete contrast to other ‘bad-boy’ roles I had on TV. My experience of presenting Playschool as well as many other children’s programmes for the Beeb, gave me license to just go with the flow and enjoy the Pie-ride. Most of the team were in place before my invitation to join. Michael Cole and Sharon Miller were already in pre-production mode with Chloe Ashcroft, David Hargreaves and Peter Gosling when they offered me Pie Pilot - along with a crazy collection of other cameo roles yet to be confirmed!

I’d previously worked with each of them individually at the Beeb, so instinctively knew that Pie in the Sky was different to the regular children’s format. Not only were the scripts anarchically inventive, hosting crowds of outlandish characters coming and going, but also employed some of the most up-to-date video graphics on children’s TV at the time. Having Micheal Cole at the helm provided a solid credibility and integrity to the project. His vast experience and success in children’s television gave us room to stretch the boundaries without totally losing the plot. The creative freedom and diversity of expression brought to the series was due to his encouraging influence and confidence in the production.

The whole series was recorded at the BBC studios in Bristol, support by their brilliant in-house set and costume departments, who week after week had to visually recreate the chaotic capers described in the scripts. Looking back after thirty plus years the production values were pretty impressive for the time and the series is still remembered by some of those lucky few who caught it"

Peter Gosling, meanwhile, was there from the very earliest stages of baking Pie in the Sky and was able to fill me in on this and his involvement:

"I'd previously worked with Chloe Ashcroft and we both shared a similar humour along with a love of singalongs and folk songs. Pie in the Sky first started because I'd recorded an album of nursery rhymes which I planned to release. This then led to the possibility of a TV show based on nursery rhymes. Chloe and I soon realised the potential of a TV series featuring the songs 'Baked in a Pie' and for all to enjoy. We then had meetings with the BBC commissioning editors who gave us the go ahead to bring it all to life.

My imagination could run riot and I wanted to give all the traditional nursery rhymes a modern twist that young children could enjoy and singalong with. I wrote all the songs at home and I recorded them at Herne Place Studios, Sunningdale. I used a guitarist and drummer and I played the rest of the instruments. Chloe, David Hargreaves, Ben Thomas and myself put the down the vocals once the tracks were done and it took about two weeks. Once we had got the show commissioned, we had to re-record everything at Lime Grove Studios for copyright purposes.

I managed to get down to all the recording and filming sessions, the series was made at BBC Bristol. Chloe, David, Ben and I made up the team and we thoroughly enjoyed ourselves making the episodes. We all enjoyed playing our different parts, dressing up and being silly. My only other memory of the series is of my trousers falling down whilst playing the fiddle and dancing to Old King Cole. I still can't stop myself from eating pies"

Like most children’s programmes aimed at the lower end of the age spectrum, Pie in the Sky is two things: simple and exceptionally fun. It’s a winning formula that scientists have attempted to create in laboratories for years, but has only even been achieved in television studio conditions. Strengthening the core of Pie in the Sky is its capacity to couple a straightforward setup with an offbeat theme. The episodes contain your standard recipe of light japes, songs and performance, but it’s a gloriously surreal programme which marries all this to a universe where a Pie Pilot needs pies for pie children.

Central to this universe, along with the Pie Pilot, are Pie Man and Pie Wife. Given that David Hargreaves and Chloe Ashcroft were, in real life, married means that chemistry is a given. Comprising genuine warmth and muttered asides there’s a natural domesticity at play which is one of Pie in the Sky’s strengths. It generates a familial atmosphere and is guaranteed to be approved of by small children. The Pie Pilot brings his own brand of appeal thanks to, firstly, the fact that he comes from beyond the stars and, secondly, because Ben Thomas projects him as a riotously zany creation with a thirst for curiosity.

All three performers were born to perform and Pie in the Sky provides them with the perfect platform to demonstrate this. The song sections, in particular, are where it all comes together. And thanks to Peter Gosling’s remarkable compositions these are very special sections indeed. Few musical genres are left unexplored and The Skye Boat Song performance is genuinely beautiful in its execution. And, finally, the ‘pie of the week’ segment is a brief blast of charming silliness. After all, who wouldn’t be delighted to watch Ben Thomas personify a cream horn by blowing cream out of a French horn?

It’s rare that you will find a TV show which combines a musical mouse medley alongside intergalactic pastry-based curiosity. And it’s shows such as Pie in the Sky that should be treasured for such a commitment towards their idiosyncrasies. Children need to escape into a world of wonder to help their creativity thrive and Pie in the Sky provides a direct shortcut to this. As satisfying anything to be found in a baker’s oven, Pie in the Sky is a tasty treat that will linger long in the memory.

In a coup for Curious British Telly, Ben Thomas was kind enough to send over a number of behind the scenes photos from the recording sessions for Pie in the Sky. So, feast your eyes on these:

The thrills available to a schoolchild are limited and boredom is almost always staring them in the face. All the real excitement in life comes a few years later, mostly upon admittance to pubs. But there is one beacon of hope for young teenagers: theme parks. It’s not that they are packed just with adrenaline fuelled rides. They are also the birthplace of fantastical teenage myths, most of which involve getting stuck upside down on a rollercoaster. Back in the realms of reality, theme parks can make for some exciting television. All you need is teenage rivalry and a gaggle of pop stars. Just make sure you Hold Tight. 

Set within the grounds of Alton Towers, Hold Tight is, initially, a combination of quiz show, pop music and interviews. The quiz sections, battled over by two schools, are made up of four rounds: general knowledge, anagrams, obstacle course and more general knowledge. Three team members are stood at a table and have to answer questions by rushing over to a board of tiles comprised of letters, numbers and colours. Meanwhile, over at a giant ‘snakes and ladders’ board, a further team member (later a teacher), gets to move along the grid with each correct answer.

But what goes on within the obstacle rounds? Well, they take full advantage of all the attractions and features of Alton Towers. The Blade pirate ship is used to test the balance skills of contestants by challenging them to keep as much water as they can in buckets while the ride is in full swing. Teams are required to use their arithmetic skills to answer a convoluted sum displayed on boards around the Corkscrew rollercoaster track. And there’s also an opportunity for grass-skiing where contestants slalom down a grass-based obstacle course.

The winning team, as you have probably guessed, is the one which is furthest along the snakes and ladders board by the end of the show. In charge of the quiz rounds are, throughout the multiple series, a number of hosts who include: Pauline Black, Colin Crispen, Bob Carolgees, Sue Robbie, Janette Beverley, Jacui Reddin and Michael Waterman. Also popping up in series one, to crack a few gags from a desert island, is Frank Carson whilst the fifth series finds Peter Simon hosting a music segment called City Lites featuring ‘live’ performances.

The music aspect of Hold Tight isn’t restricted simply to the City Lites sections There’s much more. All throughout the series there is an endless procession of pop stars and musicians. Most notably there are big names such as Spandau Ballet, Bananarama, Public Image Ltd and Dexy’s Midnight Runners on offer. But there’s also room set aside to highlight up and coming hopefuls such as The Bodines, Hipsway, King and Natasha. The performances, which are all mimed, take place in various locations around Alton Towers.

The format remains, aside from a few minor changes, consistent throughout Hold Tight. Until the final series. And then it changes beyond all recognition. The quiz and presenters are gone, almost written out of history. In their place is an increased emphasis on the world of music with more performances and ‘Chatterpopz’ interviews conducted by Barbie Wilde. It’s almost entirely music based save for the exploits of Lord Noze (John Gorman) and his butler Gruffbottom (Graham Stark) in spoof soap opera The Altons.

The rollercoaster-fuelled antics of Hold Tight were produced by Granada Television over the course of six series. Episodes, which were between 20 – 25 minutes long, aired as part of the late afternoon Children’s ITV schedule. Stephen Leahy, who served as producer and then executive producer for the first five series, throws his mind back to the beginnings of Hold Tight:

“I was head of children’s at Granada and we had a slot at 4.20pm going on the network. The children’s schedule was carved up in such a way that we had obligations to big stations and so I had a list of slots to fill in a year. And it was down to myself to find programming to fill them. Anyway, we wanted to make an outside broadcast, the studios were jam packed and it made sense to shoot a summer series on location. Luckily I had met a guy called John Broome, who owned Alton Towers back then, and they made it very attractive for us to go there as they offered us free facilities. They built an arena for us and then we moved in and put up the snakes and ladders tower. It became an attraction.

With the recording, we couldn’t start until all the coaches had arrived and the park was filling up. So, in the morning, we would rehearse all the links and presenter bits. Then the teams would arrive from the schools and we could shoot them running round the grounds. Once the crowds were in we would literally fill up the arena instantly. Then, for example, we’d record Culture Club performing and then that crowd left and, 45 minutes later, we were ready to do the quiz and the arena filled up again. We all stayed at local pubs in the area whilst filming, so it was very jolly. Very happy times. And, by and large, we were very lucky with the weather”

If there’s one detail of Hold Tight which stands out in people’s memories it’s the giant snakes and ladders board. And it’s a striking visual. The huge cobras, which only arrived in the second series, are menacing creations and make for an eye-catching centerpiece. But these serpents are only a small part of what is a fun, fast paced quiz. Entertainingly simple, the tile grabbing sections are relentless affairs which would provide endless nightmares to modern health and safety officers. The obstacle courses, meanwhile, help the competitive aspect to embrace variety.

Strengthening the variety at the heart of Hold Tight are the interview sections which are peppered throughout the episodes. And, diversifying the content even further, these interviews cover a wide range of topics. Guy Henry pops up to discuss his upcoming role as Young Sherlock. American football team Manchester Spartans are on hand to discuss the ins and outs of touchdowns. And Sue Robbie, following her departure from the series, comes back to discuss her current schedule as she takes a ride on The Blade. Again, these features are quick and prevent any wholesale boredom taking hold.

Where Hold Tight really impresses is with its musical output. And coming from Granada, fine purveyors of pop music on television, this should be somewhat of a given. Accordingly, Hold Tight commits to this expected excellence with a grand roster of bands at the peak of their powers. But there’s also room, alongside Boy George and Bad Manners (who wrote the theme tune), for those more curious bands which never quite made it in the pop charts. And, for any music fan, you’re almost guaranteed to come away with a plethora of obscure bands to investigate.

At the helm of all this content is a crew of competent, engaging presenters. Dealing with huge crowds of children and the logistics of an outside broadcast is a monumental challenge, but it’s plain sailing for the presenting team. Bob Carolgees, who occasionally brings out Spit the Dog, is most readily associated with the series, but there’s still room for everyone else to put in an admirable shift. Even Colin Crispen, in what was his first (and seemingly only) television job after leaving teaching, brings a slick, clean cut air to the proceedings.

The final series, with its many changes, feels like a misstep. The music features are, as ever, superb insights into the 1980s music scene. And the interview with John Lydon, where he cheekily denounces Hold Tight as a farce, is priceless. But the lack of established presenters and forgettable trials of Lord Noze lead to a rather hollow viewing experience. Thankfully, the preceding five series of Hold Tight had brought enough excitement and high-grade pop coverage to leave a worthy legacy.

Three months have passed, so it's time for another issue of the Curious British Telly fanzine. And, as per before, you're guaranteed to find a curious selection of essays, reviews, meanderings and quizzes within its 40 pages. The Curious British Telly Act of 2012 demands, of course, that this content should be both a head turner and a head scratcher; issue four doesn't disappoint on either count.

Following on from my unearthing of S4C's opening night, there's more interest for Welsh speakers in the form of Neil Martin's look at 1970s oddity Miri Mawr which includes an in-depth interview with Dafydd Hywel aka Caleb the Mole. Even if, much like myself, you don't speak any Welsh, it's well worth looking at the episode which is up on YouTube. And prepare to be left eyes agog. Moving on to slightly less terrifying television, Jon Dear continues the fanzine's jaunt through the 1970s with an examination of supernatural anthology series The Mind Beyond.

Heading back to the 1960s, for the first time in the fanzine's history, I take a look at the very first episode of Take Three Girls from 1969 and try to decide if it makes a good first impression. Next up, after jumping in my time machine, is If You See God, Tell Him, a multi-layered comedy drama from 1993 written by the dream team of David Renwick and Andrew Marshall. It's a brilliantly dark series and one which made an indelible mark on me when I saw it back in the 90s. I also take a quick look at The Pebble Mill at One Book from 1985 and give a review of Humpty's House - a Play School board game from 1983.

Perhaps most excitingly, Paul Putner popped by for a quick Q&A session in the time honoured tradition of similar formats from Smash Hits. So, if you've ever wondered what his favourite sandwich is or who his first love was, this is the article your entire life has been building towards. It's genuinely funny. Honest.

The full contents of issue four are as per below:

If you're interested in a copy then it's £3.50 (inc P+P) so just send me an email and let me know where to send the PayPal invoice. And there's good news for international readers: I'm now set up to send copies over the water, so get in touch if you're interested and I'll work out a cost dependent on your location. Back issues, as ever, remain available.

See-Saw, the early afternoon children's slot on BBC1, was an important element in my earliest understandings regarding television and how it worked. It was here that, following on from lunch (and the dreaded sit-through of Pebble Mill at One which, incidentally, I now love) that my preschooler self would be treated to just under half an hour's worth of children's programming. This was how television scheduling worked. At least, it did back then. Nowadays, children can watch programmes aimed at them no matter what time of day it is. But I'm digressing and, besides, this blog isn't here to concern itself with the modern day.

So, the See-Saw slot! Ah, what a glorious time that was for my sensory receptors! The phonetic brilliance of Bric-a-Brac, the rhyming magic of Chock-a-Block and the gentle adventures of Mop and Smiff left indelible marks on my memory. Without these programmes we wouldn't have Curious British Telly. These earliest memories of television stayed with me throughout the decades and kept my curiosity piqued almost constantly. Despite my love of all things See-Saw I was never treated to the See-Saw annual. In fact, it wasn't until earlier this year that I had even heard of it.

I was put on furlough at the start of this year for about three months and, inevitably, I had a lot of spare time on my hands. A lot of time was spent browsing haphazardly online. One particular session found me trawling through Ebay for vintage BBC curios and it was here that I discovered the See-Saw annual. It wasn't going for much money (probably £5ish) but, annoyingly, some of the pages had been coloured in and scribbled on - a standard fate befalling anything owned by a toddler. Due to my rather anal obsession with wanting my possessions to be in pristine condition, I passed on bidding for the annual. After all, surely another one would turn up soon.

Fast forward several months and, eventually, another edition pops up on Ebay. It's part of a job lot with several other annuals, though, and the postage cost is irritating me a bit. I decide that I'll pass again. But then I remember that I'm Curious British Telly. I'm supposed to own curiosities like this and hold them up to the light of the modern day. I give myself a hefty slap round the face and put in a couple of bids. I win a very minor bidding war and it's mine for roughly £3.50 given the other annuals in the lot. A bargain if ever I saw one, but what would I find within?

The See-Saw annual was written by the man that more or less made the See-Saw slot his own: Michael Cole. Michael was accompanied, just as he was in his television programmes, by his wife Joanne who provided the artwork that adorns the annual throughout. The annual was published through Grandreams, a name familiar to anyone who grew up reading annuals in the 1980s and 90s and cost £2.75. When the annual was actually released is shrouded in mystery. The book is copyrighted as 1983, but the only other details I could find relating to a release was through an ISBN online search which suggested August 1983.

I didn't purchase the annual merely to ponder the release date, though, I was much more interested in the contents. And it's a quite glorious affair, assuming you can adjust your mindset to that of a preschooler in the early 1980s. The annual is split into six different sections, each one focussing on a specific programme from the See-Saw schedule. The programmes offered up for digestion are: Bod, Heads and Tails, Pigeon Street, Bric-a-Brac, Fingerbobs and then there's a diversion back to Bod with the final section being turned over to Alberto's Animal Band. Continuity between each section is provided by PC Copper, who introduces each section with an enquiring "Allo Allo..." 

As with anything tasked with arresting the errant attention of a young child, the See-Saw annual goes the way of the programmes it's representing: variety. The Bod section, for example, contains not just a cake recipe and a Coppers Cup board game, but also poetry, puzzles, colouring pages and instructions on how to make a BodSnap card game. This variety features throughout the annual, so you can expect to find details on making potato prints courtesy of Long Distance Clara, phonetic learning in the Bric-a-Brac shop (complete with fascinating closeup photos of the shelves from the shop) and a maze game featuring the protagonists from Fingerbobs.

The See-Saw annual is a beautiful, beautiful piece. Aside from administering a dose of nostalgia to the power of ten, it's put together by two stalwarts of imaginative children's television in the form of Michael and Joanne Cole. A child of the 21st century would, no doubt, struggle to engage with the See-Saw annual due to the lack of recognition on offer. But it's not for them, they've got their CBeebies annuals (yes, they still make annuals) to keep them entertained. For those of us the wrong side of 35, however, the See-Saw annual exudes a beautiful simplicity shot through with a reassuring familiarity. The only downside is that this annual was a one-off release, so there was no follow up featuring Chock-a-Block, Mop and Smiff or Pie in the Sky.

If you haven't got the See-Saw annual (and you're prone to needing a reminder of childhood) then you should make a concerted effort to track it down!

Last Christmas, I gave you my fanzine, but the very next year, I gave you another.

Yes, that's right, a whole year on from issue one of the Curious British Telly fanzine, it's time to unleash issue five! I had few plans in place for the fanzine when I first launched it, but since then I've managed - with the help of several contributors - to release a new issue every three months. And, this time, I've decorated the fanzine with a few baubles of festive joy to get everyone into the Christmas spirit.

Jon Dear casts his eye back to the BBC's imperial drama programming over Christmas 1972, new contributor James Fisher looks at Smith and Jones' rarely discussed The Homemade Xmas Video from 1987 and I look at five children's Christmas TV specials you may have missed. The infamously hard Great Big Curious British Telly Quiz is tinged with tinsel and there's even a vintage Christmas tree on the front cover.

But it's not all Christmas related. Scampy Spiro, another new contributor, has served up a quite remarkable look at the chilling Dramarama episode Snap from 1987. The history of Britain's first local television station, Greenwich Cablevision, is laid bare. There's a look at the Minder computer game and I also delve through one of the strangest Doctor Who books ever released: Travel Without the Tardis. And, at long last, we're blessed with a contribution for The Gallery thanks to Colin Wright. The full contents of issue five can be found below.

If you're interested in a copy of issue five then it costs £3.50 (inc P&P) - all you have to do is email me at curiousbritishtelly@gmail.com and let me know the best address to send a PayPal invoice to. If you're overseas and want a copy then let me know and I'll work out the postage costs.

Merry Christmas!

The 1980s was an innovative and exciting time for British children's television. Technology was slowly starting to make its mark felt, pop music was exploding like never before and the dawn of Channel 4 meant there was even more opportunity for children to be catered for. And all it takes is a quick Google of "British children's TV in the 1980s" to see that programmes such as Pigeon Street, Saturday Superstore and Button Moon were, indeed, magnificent. 

But there was much more for children to be tuning into than just these three shows. And much of it, well most of it, is now forgotten. Most of us have moved on and replaced these programmes in our memories with the bureaucracy of adult life. Thankfully, Curious British Telly is here to rectify this lack of recall. And that's why we're going to take a quick (actually... a very long) look at 159 British children's TV shows from the 1980s you forgot about.

N.b. To make this list, a programme's original broadcast had to come solely between 1980 - 89, anything which started or finished a millisecond either side of the decade was not eligible.

P.s. Many of the programmes on this list have little to no footage online, so please get in touch if you have old video tapes with 'unseen' footage on. Hopefully, we can get it online to provide a better representation of the programmes.

1. Bric-a-Brac
BBC1
1980 – 1982

By 1980, Brian Cant was an established legend of children’s television. But this didn’t mean he was about to rest on his laurels. Bric-a-Brac was part of the lunchtime See-Saw schedules and found Cant playing an elderly shopkeeper in a dusty, old bric-a-brac shop. A classic example of repackaging education as entertainment – helped by the deft hand of producer Michael Cole – Bric-a-Brac was an exercise in phonetics.

Each episode looked at a particular letter with its phonetic sound being matched to all manner of objects dug up within the shop. So, for example, in the G episode, the shopkeeper looked at a gold chain with a garnet which belonged to his grandma Grace (a bit of a gadabout) who wore it as a girdle. And, in the W episode, we learned that you wear a woggle to keep your windpipe warm. You get the general idea. A total of 13 episodes were produced, each lasting for 10 minutes, over the course of two series.

2. Puzzle Trail
BBC1
1980 - 1984

A fiendishly tough, yet engagingly interactive game show, Puzzle Trail ran for five series on BBC1 and set a different puzzle each series for the viewers to try and solve. Episodes ran on consecutive school evenings and gave the viewers the chance to write in with the solution and win a special prize. Clues were dispensed to the viewers through a series of sketches and discussions featuring various characters.

The first series of Puzzle Trail was hosted by Donna Reeve and Andy Johnson as they tasked viewers with identifying a square on a map to uncover hidden treasure. Series two changed things up with Tommy Boyd as presenter, Boyd had lost a mystery object and was retracing his steps to find it. Boyd was back in series three where OS map reading skills were needed to track down the exact location of the hidden treasure.

Series four was fronted by presenters Kirsty Miller and Howard Stableford; this time, the viewers had to hunt down a criminal in Puzzletown who had stolen a set of secret plans. Finally, Davy Jones (yes, of The Monkees) and Eileen Fletcher took part in The Riddle of Skull Island for series five, this involved tracking down a specific point in a building.

3. Watch All Night
ITV
1980

Granada Television brought this Sunday teatime thriller to our screens in the summer of 1980, with seven episodes broadcast at 5.30pm. Watch All Night was written by long-time Granada associate John Foster, a writer with a huge catalogue of writing credits including Z-Cars, Crown Court, The Bill, A Family at War, King Cinder and Juliet Bravo.

Watch All Night told the tale of 17 year old Tess Eveling (Lucinda Bateson) whose nuclear scientist father, Dr Gerald Buscombe (Paul Ratcliffe), had been kidnapped in London whilst on a short break in London with her. With her story dismissed by the police, Tess was stranded in London with no one to turn to.

But help was at hand in the form of Max (Robert Longden), a librarian who Tess had met on the train down to London. Eventually it was discovered that Dr Buscombe has been handed over to the Middle Eastern state of Y-Ban by Special Branch and was being held at the Y-Banian embassy in London. All Tess and Max had to do was mount a rescue attempt before Dr Buscombe was taken out of the country.

4. Maths-in-a-Box
BBC1
1980

Blessed with a hypnotically catchy synth theme tune, Maths-in-a-Box was an imaginative BBC Schools programme which explored the worlds of maths, geometry and numbers. 10 fifteen-minute episodes, written by Alex Glasgow, were broadcast, with repeats continuing up until 1984.

Dressed like a medieval knight-cum-spaceman, Powka (Eugene Geasley), who was from the faraway planet Sooter, found himself in a quandary. Powka’s mode of transport across the galaxies was a magic box which was so small you would never imagine anyone, aside from an ant, fitting within it. However, with a wave of his curious ‘trustock’ wand and a quick utterance of “Tiki tiki tox, into the box” Powka could shrink himself down into the box. Unfortunately, the computer within the box has been damaged in a flood and lost all of its knowledge about maths and shapes.

Luckily, help was available in the form of two young Earth children called Tracy (Melissa Wilks) and Paul (Clark Flanagan). Together, the triumvirate sought out all the relevant information required to re-educate Powka’s computer. Investigating tasks such as making a cake with weighed ingredients through to playing 10-pin bowling arcade games and cocking his eye towards the wonders of symmetry, Powka learned about Earth’s intriguing disciplines thanks to the teachings of Tracy and Paul.5. The Munch Bunch
ITV
1980 - 1982

Based on a series of children's books written by Giles Reed (who was actually Denis Bond, Elizabeth Henderson and Barrie Henderson), The Munch Bunch was an ITV programme written by Denis Bond, Rosemary Kingsland and John Reid. Over The Munch Bunch's four series, 52 10-minute episodes aired in the children’s lunchtime slot on ITV, episodes were repeated up until 1983.

Lying discarded in the corner of Mr Veg’s groceries shop, the Munch Bunch decided that it was time to escape their mundane existence and seek something more satisfying. Making their escape through the cat flap, Spud, Olly Onion, Corny on the Cob, Sally Strawberry, Pedro Orange, Peanut and the rest of the Munch Bunch made their new home in and around a downtrodden garden shed.

And, within the Munch Bunch’s newly established village, a school was founded to keep the young members of the Munch Bunch out of trouble, Scruff and Billy ruined a painting of Emma Apple and Olly Onion was constantly bursting into tears at how unfair life could be.

6. Smith and Goody
ITV
1980

Smith and Goody found Mel Smith and Bob Goody caught up in a world of literature and comedy in this Thames Television series. Six episodes of Smith and Goody were transmitted and found the comedy duo living in a makeshift flat in a television studio. The programme had a strong emphasis on reading, with segments such as 'Read of the Day', alongside book-based nonsense which included building an ocean liner out of books and dealing with a football fan trying to recreate the cup final at the library. Smith and Goody could also boast a sterling theme tune which many viewers still remember clearly 40 years on.

7. The Swish of the Curtain
BBC1
1980

Doctor Who producer Barry Letts brought this adaptation of Pamela Brown's 1941 novel to the small screen in April 1980. The Swish of the Curtain, which aired at teatime on Sundays, was set in the late 1930s and presented a story concerning a group of youngsters, with fame in their eyes, converting an abandoned chapel into a theatre.

The four episodes of The Swish of the Curtain found the young theatre company putting together pantomimes and charity shows whilst battling the disapproving glare of their parents and the council's attempts to hand the theatre over to the Ladies' Institute Dramatic Society. The serial was adapted for television by Julia Jones, a prolific writer who wrote for television for over forty years in almost all genres. The Swish of the Curtain was repeated just once, in 1981.

8. Ace/Ace Reports
ITV
1980 - 1981


Positioned as a sort-of-replacement for the long-running Magpie, Thames Television's Ace (as it was known for its first series before being renamed Ace Reports for its second and third series) was a weekly magazine show which delivered news, events and action from around the country to the viewers at home.

Originally, the series was presented by Wayne Laryea and Brian Jacks, but the later series saw the roster expanded to include Bob Goody, Sharron Davies, Steve Steen, Jim Sweeney and, on occasion, Mick Robertson. Over the course of the three series, Ace would investigate the round the world voyage Operation Drake, look at kayaking in Canada and visit a school who were in the process of building a wattle and daub hut. The series was rejigged in early 1982 when it was relaunched as CBTV with Steve Steen and Jim Sweeney retained at the helm.

9. Isla and the Farm on the Hill
1980
BBC1

Isla St Clair spent a year looking at the fortunes of a Welsh hill farm in the, does what it says on the tin, Isla and the Farm on the Hill. The series took Dyffryn Farm in South Wales as its focal point, with the four episodes each dedicated to life on the farm in a specific season. Along the way, farm owners Mervyn and Trevor Thomas showed Isla how to shear sheep, bring in the autumn harvest and how to shampoo a bullock. Yes, that's right, shampoo a bullock. Isla and the Farm on the Hill was broadcast on Tuesday afternoons with just one repeat airing coming in 1981.

10. Madabout
ITV
1981 - 1984

Tyne Tees brought three series of Madabout to ITV in the early 1980s to explore the world of unusual hobbies. Michael Bentine presented the first series before Matthew Kelly took over the reins for the final two.

Each episode found Madabout travelling around the nation to meet youngsters and discuss their intriguing hobbies, which were all linked together by a specific theme e.g. films, robotics, aviation.

Accordingly, Madabout visited teenagers running stop-motion animation studios in their bedroom, early takes on cosplaying and there was even time to squeeze in a chat with a collector of penny farthing bikes. Celebrities with hobbies, meanwhile, were also put under the microscope with Nicholas Parsons' love of film making being profiled whilst Gyles Brandreth was on hand to discuss his passion for puzzles.

11. Chock-a-Block
BBC1A year after Bric-a-Brac had arrived in the lunchtime schedules, producer Michael Cole was back with another language obsessed show for pre-schoolers in the form of Chock-a-Block. Kickstarting episodes with one of the finest theme tunes ever heard (composed by Peter Gosling), Chock-a-Block started with either Chockabloke (Fred Harris) or Chockagirl (Carol Leader) driving into the studio on the chockatruck - a small vehicle which Carol Leader regularly crashed during filming.

The presenter would then make their way over to Chock-a-Block, a huge, yellow supercomputer decorated with monitors and spinning dials. Data 'blocks' were loaded into Chock-a-Block which would display basic drawings and animations which demonstrated the linguistics behind rhyming e.g. snow, crow and toe. It was then time to head over to the rockablock to match up rhyming sounds before a song, usually accompanied by puppets or an animation, closed the episode. Only one series of 13 episodes was produced, but Chock-a-Block was repeated up until 1989.

12. Graham's Ark
ITV
1981 - 1982

Graham Thornton fronted this late afternoon ITV programme exploring the world of animals and the best ways in which children could look after their pets. Produced by Granada Television, Graham's Ark was filmed on location all over the country and ran for two series, with a total of 26 episodes being broadcast.

Typical episodes found Graham visiting Chatsworth House to look around its exhibition farmyard, checking up on the best ways to look after kestrels and advising the young viewers on the best way to choose a new puppy. Graham was also joined in several episodes by animal lover Wincey Willis who looked at the world of exotic birds and examined the finer points of keeping ferrets as pets.

13. Breakthrough
BBC1
1981 - 1983

John Craven, at the height of his Newsround fame, fronted this historical documentary series which looked at a series of significant scientific, engineering and technological breakthroughs for society.

Two series of four episodes were produced with the content taking in Howard Florey's development of penicillin, a look at Isambard Kingdom Brunel and the eradication of smallpox. Both series of Breakthrough went out on Friday afternoons with episodes lasting for 30 minutes. Breakthrough was produced by Eric Rowan, a man who already had a good working relationship with John Craven thanks to his role as editor on Newsround. Whilst the first series of Breakthrough received a repeat in 1983, the second series would remain a one-off broadcast.

14. Heavens Above
ITV
1981

A joint production between Yorkshire Television's children's and science departments, Heavens Above was a programme aimed at budding astronomers. Fronted by the highly regarded astronomers Heather Couper and Terence Murtagh, Heavens Above was a six part series taking in modern astronomy and space exploration. The show was keen to encourage the young viewers to take up astronomy and, as such, dedicated features on the basics of building a telescope and the best methods for photographing stars and planets. Heavens Above was also keen to stoke the curiosity of those watching, so room was set aside to consider the chances of life on other planets and the Big Bang theory. 

15. Stop-Go!
1981 to 1983
BBC1

A typical pre-schooler's programme of the era, Stop-Go! made its home in the lunchtime BBC See-Saw slot and explored the world of transport and machinery. Two series of Stop-Go! were produced in the early-1980s, with both Michael Cole and Christine Hewitt in position as producers.

Starting with its upbeat and jazzy theme tune by Michael Omer, Stop-Go! travelled around the country investigating the fact that "wheels go fast, and wheels go slow!" The programme, which ran for 14 episodes, was narrated by Lola Young and Ben Thomas, and focused its curious eye on a wide range of vehicles/modes of transport.

The octopus ride at a fairground was closely monitored through disassembly, transport and re-assembly. A snow trac was profiled, with this one in particular being used to reach sheep which would otherwise have been inaccessible. And there was also time to discover how a monster-like mobile crane could help with building a bridge.

16. Codename Icarus
BBC1
1981

Codename Icarus was an ambitious children's drama from the pen of Richard Cooper, a writer who had delivered the equally compelling Quest of Eagles in 1979. The series was directed by Marilyn Fox, with the five episodes airing over a two week period in December 1981. A later repeat came in 1984, followed by a VHS compilation release in 1985.

A complex and thrilling drama, Codename Icarus examined the plight of teenager Martin Smith (Barry Angel), a student with dismal grades, yet one who was hiding a streak of extraordinary genius. It was a level of genius which manifested itself when Martin was hunched over a school computer; it was here that a mysterious entity would set fiendishly difficult equations which Martin solved with ease. Eventually, it transpired that this enigmatic character was John Doll (Philip Locke), a member of the Icarus Foundation - an institute which ran the Falconleigh School for child prodigies.

Martin was soon enrolled at Falconleigh and, as predicted by Doll, displaying his brilliance. However, Martin quickly realised that Falconleigh wasn't the force for good it claimed to be. As he started to uncover a systematic campaign of abuse against his peers, Martin found himself being drugged and hypnotised to ensure he conformed to Falconleigh's nefarious plans. Meanwhile, Britain's defense systems were under attack from a mysterious assailant, one who was blowing test missile after test missile out of the sky. Was this, somehow, connected to Falconleigh? Only time would tell.

17. Take a Chance
ITV
1981

Ventriloquist Dawson Chance, who had made sporadic appearances on television up until this point, was given the chance to push his talents to the fore with Take a Chance in 1981. The series was produced by Thames Television and also featured a number of performers from Rainbow so, as such, it could also be seen as a spin-off from the legendary children's series. 13 episodes, which went out on Tuesday afternoons, were produced.

Central to the premise of Take a Chance was the setting: The Rose Marie Hotel. This respectable hotel for theatrical persons was managed by Stanley Wates (Stanley Bates aka Bungle) and was a relatively calm abode until the arrival of Dawson Chance. With 16 of his ventriloquist puppets in tow - who included McDonald the donkey, The Talking Shoes and Willy the tortoise - a sense of mild farce was always in the air, an atmosphere ratcheted up by the appearance of German spies and animal trainers from the circus - these one-off characters were played by Roy Skelton aka Zippy, George and the Daleks. Episodes took place entirely in the hotel lobby in front of a studio audience, giving it a very theatrical feel.


18. Maggie
BBC2
1981 - 1982

Maggie, with its infectious theme tune by B.A. Robertson, was a Scottish children's drama adapted from a series of books written by Joan Lingard in the 1970s. Set within the heart of working-class Glasgow, Maggie McKinley (Kirsty Miller) was a teenager on the precipice of adulthood. Determined to enter her school's Sixth Year, with a view to heading to university to study social anthropology, Maggie was a force to be reckoned with.

But her parents - Mr (Michael Sheard) and Mrs McKinley (Mary Riggans) - struggled to understand why she didn't want to settle for a nice job at the insurance office before starting a family. And Maggie's romantic life was no less conflicting - in Glasgow she was the centre of motorbike riding Mike's (Joe Mullaney) interests and, in Edinburgh, she had captured the heart of the affluent James (Ian Michie). Maggie, however, was far from ready to settle down into any form of long term relationship. The drama didn't stop here, though, as Maggie had also been drawn into her father's recently established plumbing business. With Maggie desperately needed to keep the books balanced, would her academic dreams disappear?

Maggie was broadcast in an early evening slot on BBC2 and ran for two nine-episode series. Notably, the programme was a BBC Scotland production and, instead of being restricted to the BBC Scotland schedules, was transmitted across the entire BBC network.

19. Ad Lib
ITV
1981 - 1982


Ad Lib was a magazine programme for children with an emphasis on activities and interests that young people could get involved with. Produced by Yorkshire Television, three episodes of Ad Lib were initially filmed and broadcast in early 1981 to gauge the viewers' reaction. This exercise proving successful, Yorkshire recorded six more episodes and a Christmas special over the summer of 1981, these episodes were broadcast later on in the year.

Ad Lib was marketed as a fast-moving variety pack of entertainment, taking in jokes, sketches, cookery, mystery items, cartoon clips, roving reports, movie reviews, songs and some very, very dubious dancing from the presenters. Talking of the presenters, these were all youngsters (well, one was over 30) provided with an opportunity to tackle presenting a television show. The full cast of presenters for Ad Lib was: Ian Bartholomew, Nicky Christian, Duncan Goodhew, Oona Kirsch, Liz Lewis, Craig Lynn, Nicky Margolis, Beverley Martin, David Nunn, Nick Rowan and Tilly Vosburgh.

A typical episode of Ad Lib could, for example, feature Nick Rowan taking a dip in a Turkish bath, Craig Lynn's movie section where he would look at themes such as special effects and Duncan Goodhew (yes, the Olympic swimmer) talking about swimming. The 'ad lib' aspect of the programme arose from a section where, sat in their studio 'cafe', the presenters would be given a subject to ad lib about for 25 seconds. Episodes always closed with a song and this is where the awkward dancing - imagine a bunch of dads at a child's birthday party - would come in.

The series returned in 1982 for two series, but under the name Sunny Side Up. The format was mostly the same, aside from a much brighter set and outfits, but only Nicky Christian remained from the original presenting team. This time around, the full presenting roster was: Valerie Buchanan, Nicky Christian, Cal McCrystal, Herbert Norville, Mario Renzullo, Elizabeth Watts and Tim Whitnall (yes, Angelo from Mike and Angelo).

20. Eureka
BBC2
1982 - 1986

Eureka was the brain child of producer Clive Doig and Jeremy Beadle (who presented the first series) and aired on BBC2 for four series in an early evening slot. Each series was repeated on Children's BBC several months after the BBC2 transmission.

Eureka combined a documentary edge with plenty of comedy to investigate the history of inventors and their innovative (and sometimes useless) inventions. Over the course of the four series, numerous presenters were involved in performing sketches and these included: Sylvester McCoy, Bernard Holley, Madeline Smith, Simon Gipps-Kent, Julia Binstead, Sarah Greene and Mike Savage. The first two series were set in a standard studio television setup, but series three saw the action moving to Eureka College of Higher Education before series four transferred to the Eureka Museum of Invention.

The sketches contained within Eureka looked at the historical stories behind the inventors in question, so, for example, there were mini-narratives on William Kellog inventing Corn Flakes and László Bíró developing his now ubiquitous pen. Wilf Lunn was also on hand to showcase his useless (and chaotic) inventions to the exasperation of the Eureka presenters such as a mechanical jaw exerciser and an automatic toiler roll dispenser.

21. Murphy's Mob
ITV
1982 - 1985

Mac Murphy (Ken Hutchinson) was a football manager who had just arrived at fourth division strugglers Dunmore United, a club owned by ex-popstar Rasputin Jones (Terence Budd). Aside from the team's struggles on the pitch and crumbling stadium, Murphy had another problem on his hands in the form of two rival gangs of kids led by Boxer (Keith Jayne) and Gerry (Wayne Norman).

To stop these gangs fighting, which almost always took place at Dunmore's stadium, Murphy got them to call a truce and allowed them to set up a junior supporter's club for Dunmore United. Murphy's Mob, produced by Central Television, ran for four series and saw the young supporters hanging out at the Outer Space arcade, hunting down ghosts and all the usual mischief associated with being teenagers such as run-ins with the police and planning for their future. Meanwhile, Murphy - who was accompanied by his wife Elaine (Lynda Bellingham) just wanted to get three points on the board for Dunmore United.

22. Let's Read with Basil Brush
ITV
1982 - 1984

Let’s Read with Basil Brush was part of the ITV Schools strand of programming with its 10-minute episodes airing on Thursday mornings for two series. 28 episodes of Let's Read with Basil Brush, written by Barry Hill, were produced by Granada Television and repeated up until 1985. The Independent Broadcasting Authority reported that infant school teachers were not entirely enamoured with the tone of the series.

From deep beneath the roots of a grand tree, within his subterranean den, Basil Brush was learning how to read. He was joined by Mr Howard (Howard Williams) who was helping to take Basil through the basics of reading. This task is completed with a generous amount of fun to soften the hardships of learning. Accordingly, there were regular stories featuring Pepper the Puppy and a picture game at the end. With Basil Brush present of course, the course of education never ran smooth, so there was an almost torrential downpour of gags and wisecracks throughout. No wonder teachers got sniffy about it.

23. Break Point
BBC1
1982


Tennis in children's television is somewhat of a rarity, but it's not non-existent as 1982's Break Point proved. Written by writer/actor Jeremy Burnham (who co-wrote the classic children's horror Children of the Stones and was, himself, a former county tennis player), Break Point followed the fortunes of Barry Grieves (Ian Barker), a young tennis player with a promising future.

However, his parents - who despised the snobbery around the game - were far from supportive of Barry's dreams. Luckily, coach Frank Abbott (Jeremy Burnham) recognised the potential in Barry's talent with a racquet and started training him for the top. Joining Barry along the way was Lucy Roberts (Jane Pearson) who also had dreams of making a name for herself on the courts.

As well as taking part in tournaments, Barry and Lucy had to contend with problems at home, parents trying to muscle in on their success and Barry smashing his racquet in anger. Break Point ran for six episodes and possessed a glorious theme tune by the BBC Radiophonic Workshop which was more post-apocalyptic sci-fi than tennis drama.

24. Teach Yourself Gibberish
ITV
1982

Starring musical satirists Alberto Y Lost Trios Paranoias alongside John Branwell and Annie Hulley, Teach Yourself Gibberish was a sketch show peppered with musical moments. Six episodes, written by C.P. Lee of Alberto Y Lost Trios Paranoias, were produced by Granada Television and broadcast at 5.15pm on Fridays.

Each episode of Teach Yourself Gibberish took a specific theme based on a letter, with the episodes titled accordingly e.g. P for Pop, F for Fantasy and L for Lying. Sketches and songs followed, with a noticeable Bonzo Dog Doo-Dah Band flavour to proceedings. Ridiculousness was in, hence the series featured sketches such as a surgeon suffering from 'fantasty flu' which made him think he was Paul Daniels and an actual pirate bursting into a pirate radio station. Alberto Y Lost Trios Paranoias took a break from the sketches in each episode to perform a song, but shortly after the end of the series they had split up.

25. Film Fun
ITV
1982 - 1983

Derek Griffiths starred as all the characters in this Granada production which was a good excuse to dust down some old Warner Brother cartoons and take a look at the world surrounding their creation.

Film Fun was set in The Roxy cinema with Griffiths playing the manager, the commissionaire, Doreen the usherette, Reg the projectionist and, of course, himself. Derek, with interruptions from his other characters, would usually look at three Warner Brother cartoons and link them together with a theme which was either character based or had some historical interest e.g. the impact of a temporary shutdown of the Warner studios in 1963.

Film Fun ran for 21 episodes in 1982 (including a Christmas special) and returned in 1983 for seven more episodes, but under the title Film Fun - The Movie. This final incarnation shifted the emphasis from Warner Brothers and, instead, looked at the history of cinema e.g film clips looking at the best of British cinema.

26. Clock On
BBC1
1982

Appearing first as a one-off episode in 1980, it wouldn't be until two years later that a full series of Clock On appeared on our screens. Produced by BBC Manchester, Clock On was a comedy variety show which promised to serve up sketches, puns and songs - with old joke books being a hearty source of material. The series, also known as Clock On at the Laughter Factory in various sources, featured Su Pollard, Christopher Lillicrap, Tony Maiden and the resident band Scratch Band. Features, in what the Radio Times described as a "magnificent maelstrom of music and merriment", included Unfamous Guests (choice example Zelah Clarke) and a general melange of punchlines and patter.

27. Rowan's Report
ITV
1982 - 1983

Exceptional young people were the flavour of Rowan's Report, a Yorkshire TV series which ran for two series in the early-1980s. Rowan's Report was fronted by Nick Rowan, who was precociously young himself to be presenting a television show, with the aim of showing, in a time period where the social outlook was relatively bleak, that success was possible.

These mini-documentaries followed a diverse collection of characters around who included: pop star Annabella Lwin, Leeds United apprentice Neil Aspin and water skier Andrew Rock. Most interesting of all, though, was the appearance of a young stockbroker, with aspirations of becoming prime minister one day, going by the name of Jacob Rees-Mogg.

28. Knock! Knock!
BBC1
1982 - 1985

Airing on Sunday mornings, Knock! Knock! was a religious offering for children which aired in the early-1980s. Knock! Knock! was a programme which eschewed preaching about eternal condemnation for committing sins and, instead, turned to entertainment for enlightenment.

Knock! Knock! - which also served up Christmas and Easter specials - used songs and stories to inform the young audience about God's wide world and the many faiths it encompassed. Over the course of its three-year run, it featured a large roster of presenters made up of Lesley Judd, Janet Ellis, Christopher Lillicrap, Wei Wei Wong, Ben Thomas, Mike Amatt, Chris Serle, Sneh Gupta and many more. Together, they looked at religious stories which included Zacchaeus and the sycamore tree, Papa Panov the shoemaker and the good Samaritan.

29. CBTV
ITV
1982 - 1985

A follow-on series from Ace Reports, in that it featured similar presenters and was produced by Thames Television, CBTV (Citizens Band Television) ran for four series and 137 episodes during the first half of the 1980s on Children's ITV.

The background to CBTV was that Jim Sweeney and Steven Steen were broadcasting a magazine show from a pirate TV station on top of Thames Studio. Each week, they had to gain entry to Thames by sneaking past the security guard, Harry Fielder, in all manner of disguises, such as pretending to be sheep in an actual flock of sheep. Once they had managed to sneak into Thames, Sweeney and Steen would set up shop in their studio, where they often joined by other presenters such as Paul Shearer, Mike Smith, Anneka Rice, Paul Henley and Stephanie Laslett.

Being a magazine show, CBTV had plenty to offer the viewers at home. Pop groups, such as Madness, were frequently interviewed and there was even a Kajagoogoo special. Perhaps one of the most delightful moments on CBTV was when the team interrupted a 'rehearsal' by Morecambe and Wise who demonstrated their comedic mastery with ease and charm. Aside from the celebrities, CBTV also found room for intriguing subjects such as celebrating Chinese New Year and a guide to winter surfing in Cornwall.

30. The Saturday Show / Freeze Frame
ITV
1982 - 1986

Now, this is a mildly confusing one. Most people remember The Saturday Show as being a Saturday morning children's show produced by Central Television between 1982 - 1984. And most people would be right. But viewers in the Television South West region were already receiving a regional opt-out called... The Saturday Show. And TSW's programme pre-dated the Central version by several months. With these programmes, eventually, overlapping on ITV on the same day, TSW renamed their production Freeze Frame.

Episodes of The Saturday Show were hosted by Ian Calvert and, over the course of its four-year run, a number of co-presenters including Jon Miller (the resident science expert), Carrie Gray and teenager Joss Cook. The hosts were joined, each week, by a studio of schoolchildren from a local school for an hour packed full of the usual magazine show features. There was a keen focus on pop music with appearances from Kid Jensen and Fay Fife of The Revillos whilst features on the RNLI, makeup tips and cartoons such as US import Unicorn Tales completed the hour-long episodes.

31. Hold Tight
ITV
1982 - 1987

Hold Tight was an entertaining mixture of quiz show, pop music and interviews, all three of which took place at Alton Towers. Six series of Hold Tight were produced by Granada Television throughout the 1980s with filming taking place during the summer holidays. The lively theme tune was provided by Bad Manners, who also appeared in the very first episode of Hold Tight.

The most eye-catching aspect of Hold Tight was the giant 'snakes and ladder' board where competing schools moved along by answering general knowledge questions. Meanwhile, special stages were erected to showcase performances of the latest singles by bands such as Culture Club, Spandau Ballet and even PiL. Presenters throughout Hold Tight's tenure included Sue Robbie, Bob Carolgees, Pauline Black, Jacqui Reddin and Michael Waterman. The final series of Hold Tight differed significantly as it did away with the quiz element and focussed almost exclusively on pop music, save for spoof soap opera The Altons.

32. The Untied Shoelaces Show
BBC1 Scotland
1982 - 1984

Airing only on BBC1 Scotland, The Untied Shoelaces Show first made its way onto the airwaves during the summer holidays in 1982. Presented by Radio Clyde presenter "Tiger" Tim Stevens and co-presenters Tony Hollis and Beverley Hewitt, The Untied Shoelaces Show unfolded its first run over five consecutive weekday mornings in August 1982. A year later, it returned again for a similar run before a three episode outing in January 1984, an Easter special in April and, finally, a five episode run in August 1984. In the rest of Britain, viewers would find Pages from Ceefax waiting for them.

Episodes of The Untied Shoelaces Show, which mostly ran to an hour long, were similar in content to that of a Saturday morning children's show. Appearances from Scottish bands were plentiful, with performances coming from The Dolphins, The Revillos and Happy Families. Keeping things on a musical vein, the series (from 1983 onwards) also had a house dance troupe in the form of The Shoelaces Dancers. Interactive games, meanwhile, allowed viewers to call in and play the primitive computer game Telepaint and try to identify the Mystery Guest. There was also room set aside for cartoon filler from Warner Bros and Tom and Jerry.

33. Ragdolly Anna
ITV
1982 - 1987

Based on the Ragdolly Anna books she had started writing in the late 1970s, Jean Kenward first brought Ragdolly Anna to British screens in 1982 thanks to Yorkshire Television. Two further series would follow in 1985 and 1987, with a total of 30 10-minute episodes appearing in the Watch It and Children's ITV schedules.

Ragdolly Anna was, as the rollicking theme tune told us, fine and brown with a bunch of paper roses in her big straw hat. And she lived in a third-floor flat with the little dressmaker (Pat Coombs), the dressmaker's dummy and White Cat. Whilst Ragdolly Anna was often a small puppet, scenes calling for more action saw her - thanks to green screen - performed by an actress (Michele Davidson/Caroline Berry) in a slightly terrifying costume. Although, it must be said, this costume was certainly less chilling than Scarecrow, whose disfigured, turnip-like face could be found down at the allotment. 

Episodes of Ragdolly Anna tended to focus on a very delicate brand of peril, mostly centring around Ragdolly Anna somehow getting lost or seperated from the safety of the little dressmaker. So, for example, one episode found Ragdolly Anna heading out to buy bacon, but ended up with her falling down a drain and meeting a curious, talking frog. Kindness, too, was at the heart of Ragdolly Anna, perhaps best demonstrated by her quest to make a cape and tin hat for Scarecrow. Narration of these tales came from the dependable tones of Pat Coombs.

34. Everybody Here
Channel 4
1982 - 1983

Everybody Here, which first aired on Channel 4's second day of broadcasting, was a typical example of the channel's early output. Compiled by Michael Rosen, who also played Mr Smarty Pants in the series, Everybody Here sought to showcase traditional stories from immigrant communities who had settled in Britain. These stories were narrated by a range of stars with Bob Hoskins, Burt Kwouk and Miriam Margolyes all contributing their vocals.

It wasn't, however, all storytelling in Everybody Here. Additional features investigated ethnic cooking methods, craft production and there was even a competition to find the happiest knees. Everybody Here managed two series of 10 episodes, the first starting in November 1982 and the second following in May 1983. Repeats of these episodes continued until 1985.

35. Let's Pretend
ITV
1982 - 1989

Although it ran on ITV for seven years (and just over 200 episodes), Central Television's lunchtime series Let's Pretend is curiously absent from modern discourses on children's television. A classic example of stimulating the imagination, Let's Pretend embraced minimalism and cashed in on creativity.

Three 'pretenders' would convene in the Let's Pretend house each episode and, inspired by a choice object, put on a short play with minimal props. This play would be performed by two of the pretenders whilst the final pretender would take up residence at a piano to provide a soundtrack. Pretenders during Let's Pretend lengthy run included John Telfer, Chris Hazell, Kerry Shale and Tessa Hatts.

The plays at the centre of each episode were original stories which took in The Ragdoll and the King, The Reindeer and Rhinoceros and Granny in Space. Let's Pretend also featured a puppet caterpillar which appeared in the credits and, for some children, provided endless nightmares.

36. Mag is Mog
BBC1 Scotland
1982 - 1986

Back in January 1982, early morning viewers tuning into BBC1 on a Saturday would be confronted by Swim, a tutorial series on swimming. But those in Scotland would find a regional variation awaiting them. And this programme was Mag is Mog, one of the earliest children's programmes to be produced entirely in Gaelic. A total of four series were produced, with the current whereabouts of the master recordings unknown.

Mag is Mog featured two large puppets in the form of Mag (a magpie) and Mog (a cat) who were operated by puppeteers Ivy and Don Smart. Originally, Mag and Mog were also joined by Maggie Cunningham, a teacher from Wester Ross. Mag is Mog was very much a variety show, but one which was infused with a unique Gaelic flavour.

Gaelic bands such as Silly Wizard and City Limits performed alongside segments including a Gaelic soap opera following the adventures of Archie 'Lectric McKay and, each week, Granny Strang would read from the Red Book of Clan Strang. Perhaps most exciting of all, however, was the puppet serial set in space.

37. Jangles
ITV
1982

One of the few entries into the musical-drama genre, Jangles was a HTV production which ran for seven episodes on ITV in 1982. Written by Jack Allen and Bob Baker, the programme was set in a music venue called Jangles and focussed its action on the bands performing there and the club's patrons.

Joanne (played by real-life pop star Hazel O'Connor) was one of the most prominent characters, a schoolgirl with dreams of becoming a popstar who regularly sung at Jangles. Her boyfriend Steve (Jesse Birdsall) was a victim of the contemporary unemployment problems and regularly struggled to find work. The social comments weren't just limited to unemployment, subjects such as racism and football hooliganism were also tackled through the storylines infiltrating the club.

One of the stranger aspects of Jangles was Herald (David Delve), an enigmatic character who, looking like he had tumbled out of Blitz, would appear on screen to narrate the ongoing action - producer Peter Holmans claimed that Herald was somewhat of a God figure who oversaw the characters straying from his divine script. A number of contemporary bands, some better known than others, appeared on stage in Jangles and these included The Fantoms, Tank, Streets Ahead, Fun Boy Three and Bananarama.

38. Wil Cwac Cwac
S4C
1982


Based on Llyfr Mawr y Plant - a Welsh language book for children from the 1930s - Wil Cwac Cwac told the stories of Wil, an anthropomorphic duck. Along with his foolhardy friends - Ifan the turkey, Huw the goose and Sioni the chicken - Wil lurched from one adventure to another in the rural Welsh village he called home. Angering a bull, scoffing down wasp porridge and a troublesome case of the hiccups were just some of the narratives awaiting Wil. Narrating the series, which was originally spoken entirely in Welsh, was Myfanwy Talog.

However, Wil Cwac Cwac would not remain the preserve of the Welsh. An English language version, also using the vocal talents of Myfanwy Talog, would eventually air as part of TV-am's programming in the mid-1980s. And, on the insistence of TV-am, it would be given an anglicised title of Will Quack Quack.

39. Get Up and Go!/Mooncat & Co
ITV
1982 - 1985

Get Up and Go! secured 56 episodes over three series between 1981 – 1983 whilst, due to a number of cast changes, it went under the name Mooncat & Co for two further series and 32 episodes between 1984 – 85. Both incarnations of the show were written by Rick Vanes with Shirley Isherwood and Sally Wells penning the illustrated stories. Produced by Yorkshire Television, the two shows aired in the lunchtime slot on ITV and repeats followed shortly after each series’ initial run.

Mooncat (created and operated by David Claridge) had descended to Earth from the moon in order to learn about the ways and habits of earthlings. Unsure of how to navigate this new planet, Mooncat moved in with Beryl (Beryl Reid) and Stephen (Stephen Boxer) who helped to guide and entertain him with stories and music in Get Up and Go! In Mooncat & Co, Stephen and Mooncat had moved out of Beryl's and set up the shop Mooncat & Co. Here they were joined by weekly visitors including Patsy Rowlands, Wilf Lunn and Pat Coombs.

Both Mooncat series featured much the same content, but there were a number of cast changes along the way. Beryl Reid had left by the time of Mooncat & Co, as had David Claridge - who was finding huge fame as Roland Rat; Claridge was replaced as Mooncat's puppeteer by Christopher Leith. Stephen Boxer also departed the series after one series of Mooncat & Co, with Berni Flint taking over the presenter role.

40. This is Me
ITV
1983 - 1984

From Central Television came This is Me, a documentary series which ran for two series and 13 episodes as part of Children's ITV late afternoon offering. It was a programme which focussed on the lives of young people who led unique and unusual lives. And This is Me certainly didn't scrimp on variety when it came to its young subjects. Not only was there a profile of Musical Youth keyboardist Michael Grant, but there were also examinations of Robert De Grey (the heir to Lord Walsingham's estate), Jayne Ruddock, a young girl who had to have dialysis treatment four times a week and Christopher Hinds, whose parents were both blind.

41. The Machine Gunners
BBC1
1983

Robert Westall's 1975 novel of the same name was brought to children's television in 1983 by the BBC. Adapted by William Corlett, the six episodes - which originally aired late on Wednesday afternoons - followed the fortunes of Chas McGill (Shaun Taylor), who was living in Tyneside at the height of World War II.

One day, whilst out hunting for war souvenirs, Chas found the ultimate treasure: a crashed German bomber. Removing the fully operational machine gun, along with plenty of ammo, Chas and his friends Cem (Tony Saint), Clogger (Andrew Craig), Carrot Juice (Adrian Dawson), Audrey (Debbie Breen) and Nicky (Alastair Craig) set about making it the centrepiece of their home-built fortress. And it was from here that they would prepare to protect themselves from the imminent German invasion. However, what would happen when they successfully machine-gunned down a German bomber?

42. Luna
ITV
1983 - 1984

A delightfully unique production, Luna was jointly written by Colin Prockter and Colin Bennett (who also snared himself an acting role in it) with Central Television producing the series. Two series of Luna were produced, with 12 episodes going on to be broadcast as part of Children's ITV. The programme was devised and produced by ex-Monkee, Micky Dolenz.

The series followed the title character Luna - played in the first series by Patsy Kensit and then, in the second series, by Jo Wyatt - a teenage girl living in the Efficiecity, an enclosed city which was shut off from the polluted world outside - in the year 2040. Luna's actual name, as standard names had fallen out of fashion, was 72 Batch 19Y, but as she originated from the moon she was known as Luna. She lived with her Grandfather, Gramps (Frank Duncan) - a 1980s punk - and Brat (Aaron Brown) who came from the same batch as Luna. Joining this dysfunctional family was Andy (Colin Bennett) the robot.

These characters used a curious language known as Technotalk which combined old words into new, hybrid words such as habiviron (habitat and environment) which referred to a living space. In this futuristic, and slightly dystopic, world Luna would find herself facing being "obliviated" if she didn't find her egothenticity card, attempting to secure travel permits to go on holiday and taking a malfunctioning Andy to the garage to be fixed.

43. Chips' Comic
Channel 4
1983 - 1984

One of Channel 4's earliest forays into children's programming, Chips' Comic was devised by Mo Harter, who felt that children's television wasn't as inclusive as it could be. Her son had learning difficulties and there was little on television that could engage his particular needs. Teaming up with writer David Wood, they put together two 10-episode series of Chips' Comic.

Inky (Gordon Griffin) and Elsa (Elsa O’Toole) were the publishers of Chips' Comic, a publication packed full of fun and learning for children. It was so named as it was published with the help of Chips, a giant, yellow computer decorated with flashing lights and coat hanger aerials. Within the many microchips of Chip's mainframe, there lived two digitised computer men in the form of Smasher and Basher. Completing the Chips' Comic team was Rover (Andrew Secombe), a dog who could only communicate through the power of mime.

Each edition of the comic - and, therefore, the episode - was based around a certain theme such as rainbows, water and life underground. It was then down to Inky, Elsa, Rover and Chips to create content for the comic. Features included Rover's Report which, for example, saw Rover heading out to a balloon factory, there was the Animal page which looked into the wonder of wildlife and, alongside various songs and stories, the ‘Do It Yourself’ page which looked at various activities e.g. setting an alarm clock.

At the end of each episode, a lever would be pulled on Chips and production of the comic would start.  And, here, you would assume that it was the end of the episode. But it was only the end of the television broadcast. For, at your local newsagents, you would then be able to buy an actual issue of Chips' Comic.

44. First Post
ITV
1983 - 1985

Granada Television produced this 'Points of View for children' for the Children's ITV roster and ended up filming four series over the course of two years. Hosting this outlet for opinions on shows such as Give Us a Clue, Wind in the Willows and Blockbusters was Sue Robbie, although Ted Robbins and Adam Sutherland also hosted in the final series. Occasionally, First Post left the studio to visit children at locations such as Newmarket stables and discuss their opinions on television. And, there were even a few standalone features, such as chatting with Julian Cope or meeting Malcolm Little, young cartoonist of the year. Sadly, all episodes are missing from the Granada archive.

45. The Witches and the Grinnygog
ITV
1983

The gentle, supernatural stylings of The Witches and the Grinnygog aired in 1983 and were based upon the 1981 novel of the same name by Dorothy Edwards. Adapted for television by Roy Russell, The Witches and the Grinnygog was a TVS production and went out in a 4.45pm slot on Children's ITV. 

The Witches and the Grinnygog focussed upon the discovery of a stone idol - known as a Grinnygog - during the dismantling of a local church. It had been hidden there since the 17th century, when its three white witch guardians were subjected to a witch hunt. Going to ground, the witches hibernated in the local marshes, where they remained until the Grinnygog was disturbed. Finding the Grinnygog removed from the now dismantled church, the three witches - Miss Bendybones (Patricia Hayes), Mrs Ems (Sheila Grant) and Edie Possett (Anna Wing) - headed out to track down the Grinnygog.

The appearance of these witches soon aroused the interest of the local children. The three Firkettle children – Jimmy (Paul Curtis), Dave (Adam Woodyatt) and Essie (Zoe Loftin) – were particularly intrigued. They were joined by the Sogood siblings Colin (Giles Harper) and Nan (Heidi Mayo) who, with the Firkettles, were trying to set up a parish museum. Meanwhile, the arrival of African witchdoctor Twebele Alabaster (Olu Jacobs) served only to compound the mystery. And there was also the small matter of a ghostly child who kept appearing in the village.

46. Teetime and Claudia
ITV
1983 

Produced by Joy Whitby - the woman behind Play School and Jackanory - Teetime and Claudia ran in both the midday and early afternoon children's schedules on ITV. 26 episodes of Teetime and Claudia were transmitted across two series which bookended 1983. These episodes were written by Simon Purcell and animated by Digby Turpin, a duo who had previously worked with Joy Whitby on Little Blue in the 1970s.

Teetime (Gerry Cowan) and Claudia (Tessa Worsley) were, respectively, a cat and dog who lived with their owner, Auntie. Claudia was vain and equally convinced that her hunches and theories were inarguable. Teetime, meanwhile, was much less conceited, and simply wanted to enjoy himself and follow orders from Auntie in return for a quick tickle on the belly.

The narratives of Teetime and Claudia were simple, but charming and usually found such mild peril unfolding as Hush the parrot escaping and pulling Auntie's washing off the line, Auntie's friend Wipe nearly burning down the house and Bertha the goat being called for when the lawnmower broke down.

47. Captain Zep - Space Detective
BBC1
1983 - 1984

Possessing one of the best theme tunes to ever bless children's television, Captain Zep - Space Detective made its debut in 1983 before returning a year later for a final series. In total, 12 episodes of Captain Zep were recorded with the first series written by Dick Hills (who also devised the programme) and the second series coming courtesy of Colin Bennett's typewriter.

Captain Zep was a game show which invited wannabe 'space detectives' to enrol at the Space Office of Law Verification and Enquiry (SOLVE) academy. At SOLVE, these students were shown a famous 'crime detection' video starring the titular Captain Zep (Paul Greenwood in series one and Richard Morant in series two). These videos featured Captain Zep and his crew members interacting, thanks to the magic of green screen, with illustrated villains. Crimes under the spotlight included 117 mysterious deaths at a spacesuit contest and the sudden re-emergence of a killer plague on the planet Santos.

The SOLVE students, who made up the audience in the studio, were tasked with taking notes throughout the video in order to solve the crime. And, at the end of each episode, Captain Zep would ask viewers two questions about that week's crime video, those viewers who wrote in with the correct answers would then win a SOLVE badge.

48. Sounds Like a Story
ITV
1983 - 1984

A follow-up to the earlier storytelling series Once Upon a Time (1979 - 1982), Sounds Like a Story brought Mark Wynter into a slightly new format in the lunchtime Children's ITV slot. Running for just one series - yet one which ran over six months - Sounds Like a Story was produced by Granada Television.

Sounds Like a Story featured Wynter narrating illustrated stories whilst backed by a small team of musicians providing sound effects and incidental music. These stories, which were consolidated with a puppet section from Susan Kodicek and Rosta Cerny, were traditional tales such as The Three Little Pigs, The Grasshopper and the Ant and Goldilocks and the Three Bears.

49. The Royal Family
ITV
1983

Also known as The Royal Family: William the Conqueror to Elizabeth II, Yorkshire Television's The Royal Family was a series looking at the history of the Crown. Presented by the former royal press aide Ronald Allison, The Royal Family was produced for Children's ITV and ran for one series of seven episodes. The series combined a documentary approach with a significant amount of stock footage to explore the history of British royalty on a number of different themes. Subjects covered included Buckingham Palace, royal animals, royal children and, quite curiously, royal menus.

50. Hokey Cokey
BBC1
1983 - 1984


A pre-schooler's programme, Hokey Cokey aired in the BBC lunchtime schedules and starred Don Spencer who was joined by, depending on the episode, either Chloe Ashcroft or Carol Chell. The programme was very similar in format to the long running Play School and, of course, the three Hokey Cokey presenters had all served regular stints with Humpty, Jemima, Big Ted et al.

Not surprisingly, episodes of Hokey Cokey - which were based around themes such as snow, space and rivers - consisted of a mixture of songs, stories, stock footage and the exploits of hand puppets Hokey and Cokey, a pair of clowns voiced by the presenters. A total of 26 episodes were broadcast across two series with repeats continuing up until 1989.

51. Challenge
ITV
1983

A documentary series which looked at young people with a taste for adventurous lifestyles, Challenge was produced by Thames Television and ran for six episodes at 4.45pm on Monday afternoons.

Youngsters profiled throughout the series included Alan Jarvis (who worked with dolphins at Windsor Safari Park), Iona Doyley and Karen Pugh (two young discus throwers competing in the Three A event), Paul Diamond (a member of the Cyclomaniacs motorbike team who has aspirations of becoming a stuntman) and Dawn Simmonds (the 14 year old daughter of Linton Zoo's owner). Challenge, which aired on the recently launched Children's ITV schedule, was never repeated.

52. Doris
ITV
1983 - 1985

Hilary Hayton - the creator of Crystal Tipps and Alistair - had written a series of books in 1982 which centred around Doris the Cat. And Yorkshire Television thought they would make for some cracking television so, before we knew it, we were blessed with 40 episodes of Doris, which aired over the course of two series in 1983 and 1985. The five-minute episodes went out daily on Children's ITV at 4.20pm.

Doris was a black and white cat who, like most cats, could only communicate through the power of meows. Knocking around with Marlon, her ginger tom boyfriend, Doris found herself caught up in the type of adventures you wouldn't normally associate with a feline. For example, one episode saw Doris taking to space, where she had to tackle a group of mice who were chiselling away at the moon. Meanwhile, back on Earth, another episode saw Doris playing matchmaker for a lonely snowman. And there was even time for the absolutely surreal, with one episode seeing Doris scooped up by a giant spoon and flown through the night sky.

53. Victor & Maria
ITV
1983

With King Rollo establishing them as a heavyweight in the children's television market, it was time for King Rollo Films to come up with something new. And, in 1981, they started offering Victor & Maria, the animated adventures of a young girl and a behatted, tie-wearing polar bear, for sale. However, it would not be until 1983 that the 26 episodes of Victor & Maria aired as part of Children's ITV.

Sharing similar animation techniques to King Rollo (as well as being written by the same writer David McKee, but this time under the pen name of Roc Amirall - who was claimed to be a Spanish artist) Victor & Maria was narrated by Una Stubbs. The simple, yet endearing stories - which each ran for five minutes - showed Victor and Maria preparing for a picnic (and dealing with Victor's ravenous hunger), trying to put together a DIY project (that Victor can't find the instructions for) and trying to soothe Victor's panic that his top hat has been used as a vase.

54. The Roger the Dog Show
BBC1
1983

Ventriloquist Ward Allen had been touring theatres up and down the land with his oversized, shaggy dog puppet Roger since the late 1970s before television came calling. As with most live acts making the leap to the silver screen, The Roger the Dog Show was imbued with a variety feel. Joined by fellow ventriloquist Ken Wood (with his puppets Jim the Chimp and Robertson the Pig), Allen and Roger served up sketches, very corny gags and a healthy dose of studio banter.

There were also a number of silent interstitials featuring The Chucklehounds (an early incarnation of The Chuckle Brothers) – producer Martin Hughes would later go on to produce The ChuckleHounds and ChuckleVision. Only five episodes of The Roger the Dog Show were produced – transmitted on Tuesday afternoons at 4.35pm – with no repeat airings ever making their way into the schedules.

55. The Boy Who Won the Pools
ITV
1983

As you can guess from the title, this TVS production found 16 year old Rodney Baverstock (Michael Waterman) scooping £758,000 (and 27p) on a pools coupon that his Aunt Adelaide (Kathleen Moffatt) had entered on his behalf. 10 episodes of The Boy Who Won the Pools were produced, with episodes going out in an early evening slot on Sundays.

The series kicked off, following Rodney's windfall, with a bout of extravagant spending. Rodney purchased a red Ferrari - and employed glamourous Claudine (Sylvia Sachs) from Sweden as his chauffeur - alongside a huge mansion where he kept his recently acquired pet tiger. And, for good measure, Rodney, also bought up a video production company.

Life, however, wasn't all fun and games for Rodney. His father Mr Baverstock (Don Henderson) was highly jealous of his son's wealth and determined to take control of the money for himself. And Rodney's girlfriend Liz (Lucy Aston) was permanently jealous of his relationship with both Claudine and Sami Tate (Vivienne McKee), a talented singer that he started to manage. Joining Rodney through all of this was his best friend Thornton (Lloyd Peters), an electronics whizz who genuinely believed he was part machine and had to regularly 'recharge' in a life support machine.

56. So You Want to be Top
BBC1
1983 - 1985


Gary Wilmot fronted this school-based quiz show which pitted two teams (the Creeps and the Crawlers) against each other. Scores were determined at the end of each round by the clap-o-meter response from the audience, these scores were kept by The Gemini Twins in the first series and, for the final two series, Leni Harper.

There was more to So You Want to be Top than just the quizzes, though, as a number of sketches also permeated the episodes. Most memorably, spoof advertisements featured products by Topkid such as Snoozeblooms, Yucky Drops and Wonderwasp which were designed to help you crawl to the top at school. Curiously, 'real life' children were replaced in the final series by child actors taking part in scripted quiz rounds.

57. Data Run
ITV
1983 – 1984

Part of the TV-am stable, Data Run was a magazine show which aired early on Saturday mornings between 1983 and 84. The 45-minute episodes were hosted by Edwina Laurie (with help from Edwin the computer) and was one that embraced the miscellany of life for the youth of the 1980s. Not surprisingly, pop music was a strong focal point, so it was common to find features such as The Smiths being interviewed by school children, soul-popsters Imagination revealing the contents of their wardrobe and Boy George discussing Valentine’s Day. Perhaps most exciting of all, however, was the synthtastic theme tune which came courtesy of Yazoo.

In amongst these slices of pop intrigue there was plenty more on offer. Data Run would regularly find Edwina chatting to 1980s personalities including Sharron Davies and Roland Rat whilst profiles of the new Ms. Pac-Man game and a look round the 1984 Toy Fair were designed to send the sensory cortex of every viewer into overload.

58. Deri Deg
S4C
1983

Deri Deg was a stop-motion animation series produced by Bumper Films (who would later go on to produce Fireman Sam) for S4C, the Welsh arm of Channel Four. Originally released entirely in Welsh - with narration from Dillwyn Owen - the series was later dubbed into English with Peter Sallis taking on the narrating role. The English version of the series was titled Rocky Hollow and originally aired on The Children's Channel in 1985.

The curious looking woodland characters of Deri Deg counted Mr Oak, Sycamore, Acorn, Conker, Rosie Woodpigeon and Miss Myrtle amongst their number. A series of simple adventures awaited these nature-based protagonists such as arranging a picnic, getting a stuck pot off Sycamore's hand and hunting for treasure.

59. Behind the Bike Sheds
ITV
1983 - 1985

There was a lot going on within episodes of Yorkshire Television's Behind the Bike Sheds and, I'm glad to report, it was a lot of fun. Two series of Behind the Bike Sheds were produced, the first set of episodes being penned by Rick Vanes and John Yeoman while the second run came from Jan Needle with additional material by Tony Slattery. Behind the Bike Sheds was set at Fulley Comprehensive where a world of plots, sketches and and songs were awaiting not only the pupils, but also the staff.

Pupils included Adam (Adam Sunderland), who regularly updated the narrative throughout the episodes, the headphone wearing Paul (Paul Charles) who hosted 'Jim Raving's Newsround' and Jenny (Jenny Jay) who was blessed with a desire to sing and an eye for the older boys. There was also the puppet pupil Fanshawe who, after being scarred by a radioactive school dinner, lurked in the school boiler room. The second series also introduced new pupils in the form of Mohican sporting punk GBH (Linus Staples) and goody two shoes Gertrude (Martha Parsey).

Overseeing the pupils and chaos of Fulley Comprehensive were the teachers. The first series found Mr Braithwaite (Cal McCrystal) in charge as headmaster, one who had more than a hint of Adolf Hitler about him. Braithwaite was replaced in the second series by Miss Megan Bigge (Val McClane) aka Mega Pig, a clear parody of Margaret Thatcher. Mega Pig was aided by new deputy head Whistle Willie Jones (Ken Jones), a wet blanket of epic proportions. Also joining in the second series was the confident and charismatic Joe Winter (Tony Slattery).

In amongst the sketches and songs about the horrors of school uniforms and sucking up to parents, the individuals at Fulley Comprehensive would also welcome special guests such as Clare Grogan and The Thompson Twins for quick interviews. And there was plenty of dance routines from the pupils, plenty.
60. Seaview
BBC1
1983 - 1985


Many years before she started hunting ghosts, Yvette Fielding could be found on our screens as the star of Seaview, a lighthearted drama which ran for two series on BBC1 in the mid-1980s. Both series received a later repeat, with the final transmission for Seaview coming in 1987. The 12 episodes of Seaview were written by Chris Barlas and directed by Marilyn Fox.

Seaview centred around the Sheltons, a family who lived and worked in the Seaview Private Hotel. Sandy (Yvette Fielding) and her younger brother George (Aaron Brown) were joined in the hotel by their parents Mr Shelton (David Gooderson) and Mrs Shelton (Maggie Ollerenshaw). Things were never straightfoward for the Sheltons and, accordingly, this discord formed the spine of Seaview's narratives.

When their parents fell ill, it was down to Sandy and George (who was being distracted by Space Invaders machines) to take charge of the hotel. In a furious response to her mother's receipt of a fur coat, Sandy formed an ecology protest group. And, in the second series, Sandy found herself a boyfriend in the form of Ian (Mark Jordan) whilst George discovered how the arrival of his new baby brother could earn him a few quid in amongst all the tears and nappies.

61. Rub-a-Dub-Tub
ITV
1983 - 1984

Part of TV-am's earliest schedules, Rub-a-Dub-Tub opened the franchise's Sunday schedule and was, as David Frost advised at the launch of TV-am, "intended to keep children between four and eight occupied during the parents' lie-in".

Trotting along at a gentle pace, Rub-a-Dub-Tub packed plenty of different features and presenters into its hour long slot. Imported cartoons such as Curious George and the Polish stop-motion animation Teddy Drop Ear jostled for attention amongst features such as Dick King-Smith visiting the Cotswold Wildlife Park, Atarah Ben-Tovim telling stories accompanied by her flute and Jon Miller taking a closer look at prawns and chameleons. Oh, and to really underline its 1980s credentials, Rub-a-Dub-Tub found room to feature dancing lessons from Bonnie Langford.

And why was it called Rub-a-Dub-Tub? Well, no one's really sure, but the opening credits did feature the Rub-a-Dub-Tub beans (models of which were scattered through the TV-am colour themed studio) leaping out of an old tub.

62. Magic Micro Mission
ITV
1983

Magic Micro Mission was a regional oddity which was only broadcast in the Central, TVS, Ulster and Channel Television regions. The episodes aired in a 5.15pm slot on ITV, whilst viewers in other regions were watching either University Challenge, Calendar Fashion Show or Diff'rent Strokes.

The programme's main focus was on the world of computing, with this coverage coming straight from the deck of a spaceship called the Magic Micro Mission. The captain of this spaceship was played by Adrian Hedley and he was supported by the irreverent computer, Prune (Hilary Minster), ship's mate Jo Wheeler and, completing the crew, was computer expert Egghead (Dr John Barker). Children were also present aboard the Magic Micro Mission in the shape of the Famous Five: Mandy, Robin, Julia, Leslie and Stephen.

Whilst the Famous Five spent their time reviewing games, often with special guests such as David Gower and Willie Rushton, the rest of the team were exploring every nook and cranny of computing. Rick Wakeman popped by to demonstrate the computerised magic of his keyboards, Egghead hosted his Jargon Gobbler section to give viewers a basic introduction to programming, computer games designers - such as the ludicrous Groucho and Piman - turned up to discuss their wares and there was even time to look at domestic robots.

63. Heggerty Haggerty
ITV
1983 - 1984

Heggerty Haggerty was a story series for young children dreamt up by the writer Elizabeth Lindsay whilst she was walking in the New Forest. With the help of Yorkshire Television and illustrator Peter Rush, Lindsay's idea became a reality as 26 episodes, over two series, were eventually produced for Children's ITV. These magical tales, concerning Heggerty Haggerty the witch, were broadcast in both of the daily Children's ITV slots.

Heggerty Haggerty was narrated and presented by George Cole, who sat in front of illustrated backgrounds of Heggerty Haggerty's house to deliver the stories. These narratives of magical mishaps and hilarity concerned the trials and tribulations of Heggerty Haggerty, a friendly witch who was joined by Black Cat and the mischievous Broomstick. Together, this trio found themselves confronted with giant geese, running shoes that came to life and the meteorological terror of a magic whirlwind.

64. Black and White and Read All Over
Channel 4
1984

Michael Rosen, who also wrote the series, starred in Black and White and Read All Over alongside Dona Croll. The six episodes of Black and White and Read All Over aired on Mondays at 5.30pm in late 1984 with a repeat airing coming in 1985.

Black and White and Read All Over was, quite simply, all about books. The series was set in Bozo's department store with Rosen and Croll working in despatch section in the basement. Discussing the various different genres available, the programme was determined to use entertainment to encourage children to pick up books. Guests would regularly drop in to give reviews on books that they had recently read and children were also invited to discuss their current literary favourites. 

65. Benny
ITV
1984

Written by Diane Wilmer - who also presented an introduction for each episode - Benny was a Yorkshire Television production which ran in both the lunchtime and late afternoon Children's ITV slots. Over the course of one series, 13 10-minute episodes were broadcast with filming taking place in Cambridge (for Wilmer's opening presentation) as well as, for the main story, Harrogate and Skipton.

Despite its animated opening titles, Benny didn't take animation as its chosen format. In fact, it didn't even take live action as its preferred method of storytelling. Instead, it relied on a series of still photographs - occasionally embellished with comic strip style effects - to tell its stories. Central to Benny was Benny, a dog who had been owned and abused by a cruel bargee. Thankfully, he had been rescued by two kindly children, Bella (Olivia Ward) and Jack (Kirk Wilde), who were happy to shower him with affection, cheese and chocolate.

Further episodes found Benny attending a jumble sale, heading out on the beat with the local police and admiring the wonder of a rainbow. The final episode, meanwhile, saw the wicked bargee return to the area in order to reclaim Benny, and he also had his eye on Benny's new friend Harry, a Bernese Mountain Dog.

66. Fast Forward
BBC1/BBC2
1984 - 1987

This BBC sketch show, much like The Fast Show, relied on rapid-fire gags and sketches to engage the errant attention span of its young viewers. First airing in a 5.35pm timeslot on BBC2, Fast Forward ran for four series with the final two transferring over to the Children's BBC schedule on BBC1. A number of performers appeared throughout the numerous series with the whole roster consisting of Nick Wilton, Floella Benjamin, Andrew Secombe, Joanna Monro, Sarah Mortimer and Robert Harley.

Episodes of Fast Forward commenced with all the performers cracking particularly groansome gags in the studio before the sketches made their entrance. And every possible type of sketch was showcased. A sketch about a greetings card company whose staff spoke in nothing but rhyming couplets made for some linguistic wordplay. The sketch about cosmic superhero Thagar trying to recruit the nerdy Henry in the park in his fight against evil was delightfully absurd. And there was room for classic 'pull back and reveal' gags such as the lady trying to pay for one and a half bus tickets, where the 'half' is revealed to be for a pair of disembodied legs.

67. Rub-a-Dub-Dub
ITV
1984

An independent production by David Yates Productions, Rub-a-Dub-Dub ran for one series of 25 episodes on ITV. Whilst the title may not be familiar to everyone, the animation should, as it came via Peter Lang and Alan Rogers, the animators who brought Pigeon Street to life. Episodes of Rub-a-Dub-Dub, which shouldn't be confused with Rub-a-Dub-Tub, were five minutes long and found their home in the late afternoon Children's ITV roster.

Rub-a-Dub-Dub was all about the nursery rhymes. Episodes would start with Mother Goose discovering an out of place item in the bath tub, such as a watering can, three mice or a set of pigs. This item was then used to create a musical story for the episode, so the pigs, for example, would start off enjoying afternoon tea in the bath and then head outside to sing and play Pat-a-Cake before a naughty cat stole one of the pig's buns.

68. Stanley Bagshaw
ITV
1984

Yorkshire Television brought the Stanley Bagshaw character to television in 1984, a few years after Bob Wilson's books featuring the character had first launched. And Wilson was fully involved in the television adaptation. The six 10-minute episodes, which aired in a 4.20pm slot on ITV, were written, drawn and narrated by Wilson.

Stanley Bagshaw was a young lad living up in the North of England with his grandmother in the fictional town of Huddersgate. The quirky episodes usually involved Stanley setting out on an everyday task, but getting caught up in something more unusual and exciting.

For example, in the curiously named episode The Mafeking Square Cheese Robbery, Stanley was sent out to buy some cheese, a pork pie and some bread, but ended up in the middle of a heist in the grocer's shop. Pushing the envelope even further was The 22 Ton Whale, where Stanley and his friend Ted headed out for a gentle walk, but found themselves coming face to face with a 22 ton whale in the local river. 

69. Our Backyard
ITV
1984 - 1985

This lunchtime Children's ITV series came courtesy of Granada and looked at the world of Jean Burston and her young daughter Laura who both lived with their friend Peter Lorenzelli. Being a lunchtime series, the narratives were far from dramatic and looked mostly at simple tasks such as mending a leaking tap, sorting through clothes for a jumble sale and changing a flat tyre - most of this action taking place in their backyard. This trio of backyarders were also joined by their puppet neighbours Mr and Mrs Macaroni - operated by Susan Kodicek and Rosta Cerny - and another set of neighbours in the form of musical ensemble Nick, Rick and John.

70. Atarah's Music
ITV
1984

Fronted by the flute playing Atarah Ben-Tovim, Atarah's Music was produced by Granada Television and comprised 13 episodes which went out in the lunchtime and afternoon Children's ITV slots. The series was a combination of entertainment and education, with Atarah demonstrating a wide range of instruments and Ian Lavender on hand to read stories about musical instruments. So, Atarah would, for example, be taking a close look at a clarinet and watching a spaceman drum whilst Ian Lavender read a story about Francis Flute going for a ride in a spaceship.

71. Moonfleet
BBC
1984

20 years on from its first adaptation for British TV - which went under the name Smugglers' Bay - it was time for another take on J.Meade Falkner's 1898 novel Moonfleet.

This period drama, adapted by George Day, concerned smuggling on the Dorset coast - an adventure which was kickstarted by John Trenchard (Adam Godley) stumbling across a mysterious tunnel in the local churchyard. And, before he knew it, John was caught up in the world of smuggling with local landlord Elzevir Block (David Daker).

Eventually the legends of Blackbeard's hidden treasure led to John and Elzevir embarking on a hunt for a precious diamond and, with this in their clutches, a dangerous trip to the continent to sell it. Moonfleet aired in a late afternoon slot on Wednesdays and received a repeat airing in 1986.

72. Video & Chips
ITV
1984 - 1987

A fascinating time capsule of the era, Video & Chips was Tomorrow's World made more digestible for younger minds. Three series of Video & Chips were produced by HTV with Mick Brown, Sonya Saul (series two onwards), Tessa Shaw (series one only) and Mike Sharp all presenting the episodes. Originally, the episodes were only 15 minutes long, but the running time was bumped up to 25 minutes for the second series onwards.

Video & Chips sought to engage young minds by taking a close look at the science and technology landscape of the 1980s. A trip to the 1985 Personcal Computer exhibition at Olympia explored an early, primitive version of online gaming in the form of MUD (Multi-User Dungeon) which required a mysterious contraption called a modem. Junk engineers Bill Billings and Lorrie Barbour showed how discarded objects could be combined and turned into something new. And there was time for Jim Cuomo to demonstrate his digital music compositions courtesy of an Oric computer.

73. Flicks
ITV
1984 - 1987

Following on from his storytime antics in We'll Tell You a Story, Christopher Lillicrap was back with another dose of literary dispatches for children in Flicks. This time around, Thames were taking advantage of Ultimatte and chromakey (both forms of CSO) to not only provide illustrated backgrounds, but also provide innovative effects such as Lillicrap walking around himself in a full 360 degree circle.

But Flicks, of course, was so much more than just video gimmickry. Its main thrust was storytelling with Lillicrap narrating a wide range of intriguing stories - sometimes over illustrations, sometimes animations - such as The Clown of God, The Magic Pasta Pot and The Mysterious Tadpole. In total, five series of Flicks were produced.

74. The Buttercup Buskers
ITV
1984

Easily one of the strangest entries on this list (and that's saying something), The Buttercup Buskers is quite unlike anything seen before or since on British children's television. The series, jointly produced by Yorkshire Television and Callery Productions, followed the eccentric Snowy Farr (playing himself) as he travelled around the Cambridgeshire countryside with his troupe of performing animals.

As well as putting on shows for local children - where Snowy would play music with animals balanced upon his person - there were adventures on offer which saw Mary Duck heading to London, The Buttercup Buskers preparing to perform for the Queen and a surreal episode where Hoppity Rabbit chomps down on one carrot too many. The Buttercup Buskers aired in both the lunchtime and late afternoon Children's ITV slots.

75. First Class
BBC1
1984 - 1988

First Class was a game show with a heavy influence from the burgeoning British computer scene. Two teams of three from opposing schools went head to head to not only win a microcomputer (usually a BBC Master), but also compete in competitive rounds featuring games such as Paperboy, Hyper Sports and 720°.

There were, of course, more conventional rounds that included general knowledge, observations on film clips and puzzle games. These puzzles included Spinning Gold Disc (where segments of a gold disc were removed slowly to reveal a famous face) and Word of Mouth (a BBC Micro version of Hangman). The first series was presented by Louise Bachelor with Debbie Greenwood taking over for the final three. Keeping the scores was a BBC Micro by the name of Eugene.

76. Stookie
ITV
1985

STV brought this drama serial, based upon an idea by James Graham and written by Allan Prior, to Children's ITV for six episodes in 1985. Stookie started off with Stookie Doyle (David McKay) and his friends Kirsty Munro (Melanie McLean) and David Munro (Stephen Cotter) birdwatching down by the Clyde before they accidentally stumbled into the territory of Big Harper (Leonard O'Malley) who wasn't keen on intruders. A short turf war ensued before Stookie and his gang found themselves caught up in an art robbery which led to them being taken prisoner in a deserted farmhouse.

77. Passport to Treasure
ITV
1984

Young viewers were given the opportunity to learn more about the National Trust in this six-part series from Yorkshire Television. Hosted by John Parry - an authority on the National Trust - Passport to Treasure took the form of a documentary with properties visited including Snowshill Manor in the Cotswolds, the Farne Islands and the Styal Estate in Cheshire. Occasionally, Parry moved aside for sequences which required actors for historical segments such as showing the ghost of St Cuthbert who, it was said, perished on the Farne Islands in the seventh century. 

78. Chish 'n' Fips
ITV
1984 - 1987

Starting life as theatrical production in 1980, Chish 'n' Fips made its way onto Children's ITV in 1984 and consisted of two series which totalled 12 episodes. The programme was written by David Wood, who had also created the theatrical production, with Central Television producing the series.

Mr Fisher (Mike Grady) and Mr Wheeler (Tony Aitken) were two gnomes who lived out the back of a fish and chip shop. The gnomes spent the first series discussing the antics of the ‘big ones’ (humans) and were joined in the garden by their friends Bleep the robot, Henrietta the tortoise and Chips the cat.

Adventures awaiting them included rescuing a discarded toy from a dustbin and planning their holidays. The second series delivered a seismic blow when the owners of the chip shop moved away and forgot to take the gnomes. This led to Mr Fisher and Mr Wheeler setting out on a dangerous journey to reunite with them.

79. Tickle on the Tum
ITV
1984 – 1988

A Granada Television production, Tickle on the Tum was aimed at the younger children tuning into Children’s ITV and consisted of stories, songs and a roster of extraordinarily special guests. The first three series took place in the General Store and Post Office located in the fictional village Tickle-on-the-Tum. Originally, renowned folk musician Ralph McTell was joined by Danusia Harwood in presenting the series. By the time of the second series, however, Harwood had been replaced with Jacqueline Reddin.
 
The episodes, which aired in both the lunchtime and late afternoon slots, focussed upon the local residents visiting the store to regale the viewers with a story about their week. These residents included Dr Dimple (Bill Oddie), Dora the bus driver (Penelope Keith), Bobby Bins (Billy Connolly), Bessie Bagwash (Mollie Sugden) and Barney Bodger (Tim Healy) amongst many more.

Following these stories, which were set to illustrated slides, viewer-submitted gags were read out before Ralph would grab his guitar for a good old sing song. By the fourth and final series, Ralph had left the series with Jacqueline now working at the Tickle Broadcasting Corporation studios alongside Dexter the puppet cat.

80. Letty
ITV
1984

Letty ran for one series in 1984 and was produced by TVS for Children's ITV. The idea and scripts came from Avril Rowlands, with six 30-minute episodes making their way to the screen. No repeats of Letty ever made their way to the screen.

Letty Boot (Victoria O’Keefe) was a wheelchair-bound disabled girl living in Meadowbank Children’s Home alongside her friends Brian (James Forsyth), Trevor (Marc Barfoot) and Cath (Deborah Smith). Following a spate of thefts at Meadowbank – including the theft of a goldfish – Letty decided to set up the Letty Bootlace Detective Agency (inspired by the similar sounding Shoestring) and was soon investigating dangerous horse thieves and a case of criminals running an illegal immigrant ring. Taking the law into her own hands, of course, roused the attention of Inspector Jones (Glynn Edwards) and the pair struggled to see eye to eye, but gradually a level of respect was built between them.BBC1
1984 - 1986

One of the later efforts by Smallfilms (Bagpuss, The Clangers, Ivor the Engine), Tottie: The Story of a Doll's House used Smallfilms trademark stop-motion animation to present an intriguing narrative which dipped its toes into some exceptionally bleak territory. The series was based upon the Rumer Godden novels of the late 1940s and aired in the late afternoon Children's BBC roster.

Tottie concentrated its stories upon a collection of dolls who, when their young owners weren't present, went through the whole gamut of emotions from joy to mourning. Starting the series housed in an old, cold shoebox, Tottie (Anna Calder-Marshall) was joined by Mr Plantaganet and his wife Mrs Plantaganet (Una Stubbs) along with the childlike Apple (Olwen Griffiths). Life appeared to approve with the arrival of a beautiful doll's house, but it also heralded the entrance of the beautiful, yet psychopathic doll Marchpane. Taking control of the doll's house, Marchpane effectively enslaved the rest of the dolls and, inadvertently, allowed the tragic death of Mrs Plantaganet.

The series returned for a second series in 1986, under the title of The Doll's Wish, which finally saw Marchpane receive her comeuppance and, at long last, found the rest of the dolls achieving some level of contentment and happiness - a scenario fuelled by the arrival of American doll Melinda Shakespeare.

82. Starstrider
ITV
1984 - 1985

Two series of Granada Television's sci-fi game show Starstrider were beamed down to Earth in the mid-1980s. Eighteen episodes were produced with, on terrestrial television at least, no repeat airings making their way into future schedules. Nonetheless, many years later in 1997, both series were repeated on satellite channel Granada Plus.

Starstrider had a peculiar, yet exciting premise at its heart: the character Starstrider (Roger Sloman for series one and Jim Carter for series two) was joined by his calamitous, numbskull of an assistant Wart (Sylvester McCoy) as they searched for intelligent life to join them on the planet Ulphrates III. This was achieved by pitting two teams of schoolchildren against each other in a series of rounds which would test both their mental and dexterous capabilities.

Traditional general knowledge rounds rubbed shoulders with more innovative contests such as the Light Maze round where, similar to what would follow in Knightmare, one team member was blindfolded and guided through a maze by their team members' instructions. There was also a particularly enjoyable round where the contestants had to ride a rodeo-like machine known as the Grunderhunter whilst attempting to maintain their composure and answer questions.

83. SPLAT
ITV
1984

Positioned as Data Run's summer replacement, SPLAT (Soap, Puzzles, Laughter and Talent) was another early Saturday morning offering from TV-am. And, as the decoded acronym explained, SPLAT was a varied production.

James Baker presented SPLAT and oversaw such features as: Crack It (a quiz searching the TV-am Egghead of the Year), No Adults Allowed (a soap opera performed by children), the antics of idiotic Uncle Wally (Adam Wilde), cartoons such as Pac-Man and the glorious sight of Charlie's Bus (pop bands travelling about on a double decker bus - see YouTube for The Smiths on the bus chatting to school children).

84. Tea Time Television/Scragtag and his Tea Time Telly
BBC1
1985 - 1986

Fresh from performing all manner of puppets in The Young Ones, puppeteer Marcus Kimber unveiled Scragtag to British children in the mid-1980s. This Children's BBC afternoon show ran for two series, with the first being titled Tea Time Television and the second, which remained much the same, going out as Scragtag and his Tea Time Telly.

Tea Time Television found the mangy, puppet cat Scragtag living in a chest of drawers in a yard out the back of a secondhand shop. Whilst digging through all manner of junk in the yard, Scragtag discovered an old TV which transmitted T.T.V, a curious programme packed full of quizzicals, stories and cartoons. It was here that the illustrated adventures of Peregrine Piecrust were highlighted along with the bizarre, Italian imported cartoon Mr Hiccup (he hiccuped a lot). Scragtag was joined in the yard by Tim, an ornamental gnome who never spoke.

Scragtag and his Tea Time Telly changed the format slightly as it involved Scragtag being separated from his beloved chest of drawers. The cartoons and stories remained, but they were now joined by an epic quest up and down the country to find his drawers. Along the way, Scragtag had the opportunity to visit plenty of schools and tell corny jokes to the pupils.

85. From the Top
ITV
1985 - 1986

Bill Oddie starred in, and co-wrote with his wife Laura Beaumont, this children's comedy from Central Television. Running for two series, From the Top appeared on Children's ITV and saw William Worthington (Bill Oddie) foregoing life as a middle-aged bank manager and finally enrolling at stage school as a mature student. The first series was directed by Micky Dolenz, with Paul Harrison taking over for the second series.

The Jolly Theatre School was run by the Jolly sisters (Maggie Rennie and Moyra Fraser) and, as luck would have it, specialised in pupils who could sing and dance - hence, musical numbers featured throughout From the Top. Despite being 25 years older than the rest of the pupils, the only thing that William struggled to fit into was his school uniform. As a result, William soon became a leader for the pupils and led them on a series of adventures which included putting on a charity concert (Jolly Aid), introducing a computer to the school facilities and taking on the school bully Wayne Layne.

86. Fox Tales
ITV
1985

This intriguing puppet series was short lived and little remembered, but it's fascinating visuals mean it remains of interest. With a significant influence from European folk tales, Fox Tales used the otherworldly gaits of the black light theatre technique - puppeteers dressed in black against a black background - to bring the stories of Grandma Fox to life.

These tales had a strong emphasis on morality, with a similar structure to Aesop's fables including takes on The Boy Who Cried Wolf (but reimagined as Rabbit Cries Fox) and a story about Mrs Fox trying to trick Bear into carrying her buns home for her. Fox Tales, which went out as part of the late afternoon Children's ITV schedule, was created by Susan Kodicek and Rosta Cerny with Peter Davison lending his vocal talents to narrate the 13 episodes.

87. Mop and Smiff
BBC1
1985

Mike Amatt created, wrote, sung and starred in this lunchtime children's show which combined live action and animation. Mop and Smiff, which was produced by Sid 'Voice of Darts' Waddell, consisted of 13 episodes that were repeated up until 1988.

Set in the rolling hills of Belmont, Lancashire, each episode of Mop and Smiff started with Mike and his Old English Sheepdog Mop heading out into the village to see the binmen at work in the snow, take a walk in the woods and watch a circus setting up their tent. Mike and Mop would then head home where Mike's cat Smiff would be waiting for them (and a bowl of milk).

With Mop and Smiff taking an afternoon nap, it was down to Mike to sketch their dreams. These animated sections featured Mop (Timothy West) and Smiff (Prunella Scales) undertaking a narrative linked to the theme of Mike and Mop's walk round the village. Original songs by Mike Amatt were sprinkled throughout the episodes to provide a soundtrack.

88. Travellers by Night
ITV
1985

Based on Vivien Alcock’s 1983 novel of the same name, Travellers by Night was adapted for ITV by Alan England who had previously adapted Break in the Sun for the BBC.  Produced by TVS, Travellers by Night was a TVS production comprising six 25-minute episodes which went out in a 4.30pm Sunday slot.

Travellers by Night concentrated it's narrative focus on the fortunes of circus children Belle (Lisa Coleman) and Charlie (Jake Coppard). The children's story began with them being sent to live with their aunt, a move which was the result of their parents heading to the USA to find work. This need for new employment had arisen as their current circus was closing down and Murphy (J.G. Devlin), the elephant trainer, had fallen ill and was no longer able to care for his large-eared charges. Unfortunately, this also meant there would be no one left to look after an Indian elephant named Rani and, therefore, she was due to be put down.

Belle and Charlie, however, refused to allow their old friend Rani to meet such a tragic end. Together, they hatched a plan to get her to a safari park where she would be looked after. Running away from their aunt’s house, Belle and Charlie seized Rani and headed off into the depths of the English countryside. The police and the tabloids were soon on their trail, but even more trouble awaited Belle, Charlie and Rani in the form of Flick (Neil Morrissey) and his gang of fellow ne’er do wells.

89. Lay on Five
BBC1
1985 - 1986

21 episodes of Lay on Five were produced for BBC1 in the mid-1980s and were spread across two series produced by Christine Hewitt (who also directed a number of episodes). The 15-minute episodes featured Floella Benjamin travelling around the country to meet youngsters from various primary schools to shake hands (or 'lay on five') with.

There was a little more to Lay on Five than just shaking hands though. Donning a pair of flippers and a snorkel, Floella headed to the Kingfisher Swimming Pool where there was also a tale of dangerous pirates roaming the seas, over at the Westminster Sports Centre, meanwhile, it was time for the "wriggle on your bottom" championships.

90. Your Mother Wouldn't Like It
ITV
1985 - 1988

Your Mother Wouldn't Like It was a sketch show produced by Central Television which ran on Children's ITV for three series. The 21 episodes were populated with a cast made up from the Central Junior Television Workshop and, in 1987, the programme won the Best Children's Programme BAFTA. A spin-off series Palace Hill later ran on Children's ITV between 1988 - 1991.

The premise of Your Mother Wouldn't Like It was that the crew of a television studio were writing and broadcasting a series of sketches and parodies.  A wide variety of parodies made up the sketches with Palace Hill clearly lampooning Grange Hill (and the Royal Family), Twee-Man was a cheap and cheerful take on He-Man albeit with a coward as the star whilst Wogan and Challenge Anneka were both held up to a brutal satire. And there was also Tapeworm, a puppet worm who rudely interrupted the action to showcase his foul mouth.

91. Fingermouse
BBC1
1985

Fingerbobs may be the go-to choice when it comes to naming a famous British children's TV series featuring finger puppets, but its spin-off series Fingermouse is still worth taking a look at. The 13 15-minute episodes, produced by Michael Cole, originally aired as part of the lunchtime See-Saw slot and were repeated until 1994.

Fingermouse saw the title character being joined by the Music Man (Iain Lauchlan) as they examined and played a wide range of musical instruments such as clarinets, harps, sitars and concertinas. Fingermouse also ventured into the outside world where all manner of wildlife was waiting down by the river.

Drat was a scruffy looking rat whose yawns were so infectious they made boxes of cereal yawn. Old Vole, who lived in a hole, struggled to draw breath due to his old lungs. Kingfisher, meanwhile, was a musical sort himself, but his Queen had a tendency to take over the singing duties.

92. Wake Up London
ITV
1985 - 1988

Wake Up London was another of those intriguing regional variations which, would you believe it, only aired in the London region. Editions of Wake Up London went out on Sunday mornings for 10 minutes after the TV-am schedule had finished. Originally hosted by The Vicious Boys (Andy Smart and Angelo Abela) and then, in later years, by Rabbitt and Doon (Anne Rabbitt and Doon Mackichan), Wake Up London ran for three series.

The irreverent programme was a platform to promote and highlight all the things worth getting up for on a Sunday morning. Wake Up London found itself venturing out to the Dreamland amusement park in Margate, a trip to the London Dungeon allowed viewers to learn more about online gaming through the Multi User Dungeon game and there was dog training down at Greenwich Park.

93. The Joke Machine
ITV
1985 - 1989

The Joke Machine was a comedy programme for children which ran for four series, with each series featuring a different host. First up was The Joke Machine, which was hosted by The Krankies in 1985. Up next was Basil’s Joke Machine, hosted by the laughter-crazed Basil Brush in 1986. The penultimate series, which aired in 1987, was Andrew O’Connor’s Joke Machine before the enterprise came to an end in 1989 with Jimmy Cricket’s Joke Machine.All four series were produced by Border Television with episodes running, depending on the series, between 10 – 20 minutes.

There was, of course, at very heart of The Joke Machine, a machine which, along with the host and children in the studio, churned out gags e.g. “Where do you get satisfaction from? The Satisfactory!”. Early episodes also featured the video “Joke Box” segment where children could submit jokes away from the studio. But it wasn’t just a relentless string of gags in The Joke Machine. A variety feel was imbued with sketches, magic tricks (during Andrew O’Connor’s tenure) and a string of special guests helping out Jimmy Cricket which included Jim Bowen, Geoff Capes and Pat Coombs.

94. Interference
ITV
1985

Part of the ITV Schools roster, Middle English was a series aimed at 9 - 13 year olds which looked at English language and literature through a combination of dramas and documentaries. And, in 1985, it delivered a terrifying three-episode drama in the form of Interference, written by Jan Mark.

Interference took place in a picturesque cottage in the countryside which had just been purchased by new owners. First to arrive was Mum (Annie Hayes) and her children Beattie (Samantha Holland), Chris (Danny Arnold) and Ann (Wendy Hurst). They settled in as best they could, but there was no electricity and, being a weekend, no chance of getting connected. However, when the bolshy and obstinate Dad (John Bleasdale) arrived, he managed to get the generator going.

But the electricity was suffering a spooky interference. The lights failed to work properly, the ghostly image of a distressed, old lady kept flickering onto the television screen and otherworldly wails started to permeate records they played. Would the family be able to discover the cause of this psychological disturbance?

95. Count Me In
BBC1
1985 - 1986

Dancer/choreographer Antony Jones was given his own series to present in the form of Count Me In, a Pippa Dyson produced programme which was designed to get young people interested in dance. Or, at the very least, simply entertain those who were cursed with two left feet.

Two series of Count Me In were produced in the mid-1980s for Children's BBC with each episode connecting dance routines with popular activities for children. Antony Jones found himself travelling around sports and leisure centres to chat with children about their favourite activities e.g. ice skating, BMX biking, football and karate. In between these sections, Jones would compose and perform a dance based around these activities such as tap dancing 'football movements' on a faux football pitch.

96. The Wall Game
ITV
1985 - 1986

Thames Television's The Wall Game had a very transatlantic feel to it and this is far from surprising as both the producer, Marjorie Sigley, and one of the main presenters, Hal Lehrman, hailed from the USA. In fact, The Wall Game first started taking shape in The City Center's Young People's Theatre in Manhattan, where Sigley had first worked with Lehrman. A couple of years on from this initial engagement, Sigley and Lehrman combined once more for two series of The Wall Game. 

Central to The Wall Game was a giant wall made of blocks and schoolchildren overbrimming with imagination. Through a series of rounds, the children were encouraged to improvise with the blocks to unlock the identity of that week's theme. Also lending clues towards discovering the theme were sections such as 'Fascinating Facts' and various sketches acted out by the presenters.

The themes on offer ranged from city dreams through to Noah's Ark onto Ancient Egypt and even the crazy world of space travel. With the week's theme identified, it was time for the contestants to really put their drama skills to the test; they did this writing a play and then acting it out with the help of the wall's blocks.

Lehrman was joined by numerous co-presenters throughout the two series, which aired on Children's ITV, such as Andrie Reid, Deborah Goodman, Sinitta, Antony Johns and Helen Bennett. And there was also time to fit in appearances by celebrity guests including Bonnie Langford and Duncan Goodhew.

97. Dodger, Bonzo and the Rest
ITV
1985 - 1986

Dodger, Bonzo and the Rest stemmed from a 1984 episode of Dramarama which, a year later, was translated into a fully fledged series in its own right. Produced by Thames Television, the programme ran for two series of six episodes before bowing out with a Christmas special. The scripts for Dodger, Bonzo and the Rest were written by Geoffrey Case, who had previously written for Minder.

Dodger (Lee Ross) and his sister Bonzo (Sophie McCullum/Jodie Gordon) were part of a foster family living in a London foster home run by Steph (Jennie Goossens) and Ronnie (Mark Fletcher). It was a busy foster home, of course, with plenty of other children making it their home including Elaine (Jenny Jay), Nikos (Zeph Ponos) and Charlene (Donna Levy). Much like the Artful Dodger, the clear inspiration for his character, Dodger was always looking to make some quick cash.

Accordingly, he tried his hand at dealing in antiques (thanks to Bonzo’s metal detecting efforts) and taking in ‘charitable’ donations of jumble to sell on. Keen to exploit every opportunity he could find, Dodger also embarked on a brief career as an escapologist complete with his own sack. Matters weren’t always light-hearted, though, with Elaine having to confront her abusive father in an effort to make peace for her mother’s sake. And, in the final Christmas episode, Elaine had to come to the rescue of her friend (Kerryann White) who was trapped in an abusive relationship with Barry (Phil Daniels).

98. TX
ITV
1985

Tony Slattery, Sue Robbie, Alison Dowling and Steve Blacknell hosted this short-lived Saturday morning children's show produced by Granada. Episodes of TX, which went up against BBC1's The Saturday Picture Show and Saturday Superstore, ran for just under two hours and contained the usual array of cartoons, chat, pop music and games.

Frank Sidebottom (who made his TV debut on the show) appeared several time whilst Terry Jones, the cast of Robin of Sherwood, Arcadia, Rory Bremner and Cliff Richard were just some of the other guests who dropped in at the TX studios. Sue Robbie, meanwhile, got to head up to Glasgow to take a behind the scenes look at Scottish children's drama Stookie, which was just about to start transmission.

One of the major features of TX was the Knock Your Block Off game which Steve Blacknell, away from the other presenters, hosted in Birmingham - a game where two teams of children sought to dislodge a gold brick atop a wall of bricks from the opposing team. 16 episodes of TX were transmitted towards the end of 1985, but it failed to return for another run.

99. Up Our Street
BBC1
1985

An anthology series, of sorts, Up Our Street was a collection of lighthearted plays which was granted two series in 1985. The stories all took place, apparently, on the same street, although there was no specific crossover between the stories or the characters.

Many of the stories featured were written by Margaret Mahy and had previously been published in book form such as the episode Strange Events in the Life of the Delmonico Family which had appeared in the 1977 book Nonstop Nonsense. The majority of Up Our Street's narratives, however, were original with choice episodes being Molly and the Seaweed Hypermarket by Victoria Wood, Simon and the Witch by Margaret Stuart Barry and Jimmy's Story by Nick Wilton. A number of episodes from both series were repeated in 1986.

100. Secrets Out!!!
BBC1
1985 - 1987

A panel show which is now lost to all but the most hardy memories of those who lived through the mid-1980s, Secrets Out!!! sought to uncover the mysterious hobbies of a selection of guests. The very first series in 1985 was helmed by Johnny Ball with the final two series being steered by Mike Smith.

A team of four panellists - a selection of child actors in the first series and then, in series two and three, fully fledged stars of Grange Hill - were tasked by the presenter with uncovering the secret (and unusual) hobby of a guest in the studio. Usually, this guest would be miming clues to their hobby and the panel had to ask questions to try and determine what the hobby was. However, mention a secret word (usually revealed on screen) by mistake and the panel would be gunged. Celebrity guests who appeared throughout the three series were Phillip Schofield, Geoff Capes (who revealed his love of budgie breeding) and Paul Daniels.

101. Mike, Mop and the Moke
BBC1
1985

Only a few months after Mop and Smiff had appeared in the lunchtime schedules, Mike Amatt was back with another children's series. However, whilst Mop remained, Mike, Mop and the Moke was a very different series.

Travelling around in an Austin Champ, Mike and Mop spent the summer driving around various Northern seaside towns to meet schoolchildren. Down on the sunkissed beaches of, for example, Scarborough, Mike and Mop could be found playing beach bagatelle and telling stories about Blackhearted Walter. Although Smiff didn't make it into this series, she can be briefly glimpsed in the opening credits as Mike and Mop get ready to head out in the Austin Champ. Mike, Mop and the Moke consisted of seven episodes and was part of the late afternoon children's slot on BBC1.

102. Whizz
BBC1
1985


Whizz starred the titular android Whizz (Kate Copstick) in this mid-80s BBC1 programme produced by Pippa Dyson. Hailing from Home Base, Whizz headed over to the control room of Space Place each week to tackle puzzles set by a sentient computer (complete with a BBC Micro keyboard) known as Voice (Robin Stevens).

These puzzles included re-arranging pictures which had been jumbled up and spotting the aliens lurking in a scene. Despite the technological limitations of the time, Whizz actually featured some nicely rendered computer graphics in the puzzles. However, it's perhaps best known for it's theme tune ("Do the Biz, Do the Biz, With Whizz!) which was released as a single and even led to a performance on Top of the Pops.

103. The Krazy Kitchen
ITV
1985 - 1986

Carole Ann Rice devised this combination of comedy and cookery which, as well as starring herself, also put Stu Francis in front of the camera - Charlie Cairoli also came aboard for the second series. Border Television produced two series of The Krazy Kitchen with 10 episodes being produced, the first series went out on Wednesday afternoons and the second on Sunday mornings.

The Krazy Kitchen consisted of Stu Francis getting to grips with things around the house such as putting up a shelf or indulging in a spot of wallpapering, usually with a chaotic conclusion. Carole Ann Rice, meanwhile, was in the kitchen creating a range of bizarre recipes (available on a fact sheet for viewers) e.g. UFO Gratin and Berserk Bananas. The house was also home to a collection of puppets made up of kitchen taps and fruit who would crack gags and sing songs. Special guests were also prone to dropping by with Boy George, The Grumbleweeds, Basil Brush and Bronski Beat all paying a visit.

104. Galloping Galaxies
BBC1
1985 - 1986

Following on from creating programmes such as Rentaghost, Pardon My Genie and Grandad, writer Bob Block dipped his comedic toe into science fiction with two series of Galloping Galaxies. Produced by Jeremy Swan, each series consisted of five episodes with repeat airings following in 1987 and 1988.

Galloping Galaxies was set in the year 2487 and saw Captain Pettifer (Robert Swales) helming the Voyager merchant spaceship along with Mr Morton (Paul Wilce) and Mr Webster (Nigel Cooke). Helping to navigate the ship and perform various computing tasks was SID (voiced by Kenneth Williams) the ship's computer whose initials stood for Super Intelligent Deducer.

Life for the crew of the Voyager, was never simple. If they weren't accidentally beaming people aboard from the 20th Century then they were finding themselves the targets of the 50-foot high Tawlblyters or dealing with Superbeing (Melvyn Hayes), the galaxy's greatest showoff. These problems, however, paled into insignificance against their greatest threat: space pirate Mick Murphy (Sean Caffrey/Niall Buggy) and his idiotic lackeys Robot 20 (Matthew Sim), Robot 7 (Michael Deeks) and Robot 35 (Julie Dawn Cole).

105. Tales from Fat Tulip's Garden
ITV
1985 - 1987

In the mid-1980s, Tony Robinson and producer Debbie Gates were on a mission. They wanted to inspire children to harness the power of their imagination in order to learn the foundations of storytelling. And the solution to this was Central Television's Tales from Fat Tulip's Garden which first aired on Children's ITV in 1985.

The premise of Tales from Fat Tulip's Garden was simple: Tony Robinson leaps around a beautiful (and now sadly burned down) house in Woodford, London and tells curious tales about Fat Tulip - a dimwitted, but well meaning chap - and his myriad friends and foes who included Thin Tim, the frogs Ernie and Sylv, Inspector Challenor, Lewis Collins the tortoise and Fred the Baddy. To fuel the imagination of the viewers at home, Robinson performed these narratives with little more than a series of locations (the local woods were also utilised) and an array of voices.

Thirteen episodes of Tales from Fat Tulip's Garden were broadcast in 1985 with a second series, going under the title Fat Tulip Too, arriving on Children's ITV in 1987. However, this follow-up series differed significantly as it left behind the house and woods from the first series and, instead, set its stories around locations as diverse as Leyton Swimming Baths and Southend. But the action returned to Little Monkhams (the house from the first series) for one last time in a special Christmas episode on Christmas Day 1987.

106. The Little Green Man
ITV
1985

Jon Pertwee starred as the voice of Greenie in this animated, lunchtime series produced by Central Television in conjunction with Pentagon Motion Pictures. Created by Matthew Smith - who also happened to be an authority on the JFK assassination - 13 episodes (at roughly 10 minutes each) were transmitted on ITV.

The Little Green Man commenced dramatically when a young lad named Skeets (actual name Sidney Keets) witnessed a UFO landing in his back garden. And it was from this UFO that Greenie (along with his companion Zoom Zoom - some sort of ball of energy) emerged. Curious to learn more about Earth, Greenie teamed up with Skeets to take on a world of adventure. Episodes of The Little Green Man found Skeets, Greenie and Zoom Zoom building a sandcastle, helping a duke out and, in a particularly offbeat narrative, heading through the looking glass into a world of the surreal.

107. The Giddy Game Show
ITV
1985 - 1987

This animated affair was produced by Yorkshire Television and ran for three series, with episodes making up both the lunchtime and late afternoon Children's ITV rosters. Interestingly, the initial idea behind the series was for viewers to have an interactive wand so that they could engage with the onscreen action. Unfortunately, despite the idea getting as far as being discussed with the Yorkshire sound engineers, the technical limitations of the time meant this aspect failed to make it to the screen.

The Giddy Game Show was presented by a trio of curious characters. There was, of course, the titular Giddy, a green, helmet clad alien who, flew excitedly around on a red wand - this was used to to point out the correct (or sometimes incorrect) answers. Giddy was joined in the observatory setting by the professor Gus (Richard Vernon) and Gorilla (Bernard Bresslaw).

The games were simple affairs such as identifying which pantomime animal on a stage was making a particular noise e.g. a donkey braying. In amongst its myriad games, such as matching pictures of children in a playground, there was also The Thrilling Adventures of Princess Galaxzena. This segment was an animated serial which involved a green haired alien, Princess Galaxzena, embarking on quests to find four polychrome parrots on the planet Arborium or stifling the yawns of the dreaded Yawns of Snoronia.

108. Words, Words, Words
ITV
1985

Thames Television served viewers this short-lived and barely remembered children's revue show in 1985. Words, Words, Words consisted of 13 episodes which ran for 20 minutes each in the late afternoon Children's ITV slot. The programme was produced by Marjorie Sigley and starred Andrie Reid, Aaron Shirley, Matilda Thorpe, Paul Venables and Donald Waugh.

Opening with a high energy song where the presenters' smiles were turned up to 11, Words, Words, Words was described in the TV Times as having an emphasis "on the zany, with puns, poems, pop and presenters with plenty of personality and professionalism". Words, Words, Words featured stories about Eggbert the Egg (appearing in plays such as 'Romeo and Juliegg' and 'Omelette') alongside a stream of sketches where wordplay was the driving force, such as The Amazing Bakador, a showman who, ultimately, was charging people to see a back door.

109. Them and Us
ITV
1985

Them and Us was very much a junior version of the long-running Crown Court, and it's far from a shock revelation that the writer behind Them and Us was Roger Parkes, an ex-magistrate who had contributed several scripts to Crown Court. The series was produced by Central Television with six episodes running in the Children's ITV schedules.

Positioned as a series which would both entertain young viewers and teach them about the workings of the youth justice system, Them and Us was set in a juvenile court where, each week, a different case would be brought before the court. The cases featured throughout the series included investigating an illegal BMX racket, determining whether a school teacher was deliberately injured in a chemistry lesson and asking whether two motorbike riding teenagers had burned down a farmer's barn. Flashback sequences, which were shot on location, were mixed in with the courtroom drama and only one character, the clerk of the court (Barry Jackson), appeared every week.

110. Lift Off!
BBC1
1985 - 1987

An intriguing vehicle for music and comedy, Lift Off! was a Children's BBC programme which took a brightly lit, colourful lift and used it as both a base to interview pop stars/comedians and a way to transport them to performances.

The series was originally presented by Ms Walsh (Maggie Henderson) and Lift Boy (Greg Rogers) but, for the third series which was re-titled Lift Off! with Coppers & Co, David Copperfield joined the presenting team. Throughout the three series run, Lift Off! welcomed Su Pollard (who was busy cooking in the lift), A-ha, Pepsi & Shirley, Sting, Craig Charles, Duncan Goodhew, Gary Wilmot, Strawberry Switchblade and dozens more into the lift.

111. Puddle Lane
ITV
1985 – 1989
Puddle Lane was a pre-schooler’s programme which aired in ITV’s lunchtime children’s slot and was adapted from Sheila K McCullagh’s literacy scheme of the same name. Episodes, which were scripted by Rick Vanes, found the Magician (Neil Innes) living in his grand mansion at the bottom of Puddle Lane. And he wasn’t alone. Not only was he joined by Toby Spelldragon, but there was also the Mary Poppins like Aunt Flo (Kate Lee). 

Episodes tended to focus on the characters attempting to complete tasks including moving furniture, washing the magician’s vest or cheering up the lugubrious Cauldron. These antics were briefly interrupted by an illustrated reading of one of McCullagh’s Puddle Lane stories such as The Wideawake Mice. The story itself was brought to life by the Magician swirling his finger in a magical puddle in his spell room. Once the tale was complete, it was time for the Magician and Toby to take a closer look at the prose in the book. Finally, through a combination of piano playing, songs and spells (“Pom! Pom! Pom Pom! Pom!”) the Magician and Toby would complete their task, often with chaotic consequences. 

The first series was mostly confined to the Magician’s spell room, but later series would move the action out into the garden and its gazebo. These new locations would also introduce a new set of puppet characters: Snodgrass the snake, Mr Hooter the owl, Barrel the, uh, barrel and Spencer the spider. Just over a hundred episodes were produced by Yorkshire Television over the course of the show’s four series.

112. You Should Be So Lucky!
BBC1
1986 - 1987

A curious combination of game show, talent show and variety show, You Should Be So Lucky! was hosted by the glitzy jacket wearing Vince Purity (Colin Bennett). Episodes of this "all star show" pitted contestants from two stage schools against each other where the aim was to reach the final square of a snakes and ladders board to win a Vinny award.

Progress along the board was made by answering trivia questions, telling jokes and singing lines from songs. If a contestant landed on a 'hook-a-duck' or 'brand barrel' square they were then tasked with an activity picked at random such as playing a drum, reciting a poem from memory or doing a Tina Turner impression - successful completion of these activities resulted in moving further on the board, as decided by the score on the clap-o-meter in the audience.

The first contestant to reach the finish square on the board would get to perform a full routine to showcase their talents to the nation before Vince Purity closed the episode by singing the theme tune. Two series of You Should Be So Lucky! were produced for Children's BBC with both comprising six episodes each.

113. Treasures of the Mindlord
ITV
1986

A year before Knightmare arrived and defined team-based gaming with wizardry and magic, a single series, along similar lines, of Treasures of the Mindlord was broadcast. The programmed was produced by Television South West, based on an idea by David R Scott and David Drewery. Seven episodes, airing on Thursday afternoons as part of Children's ITV, were produced with no repeat outings for the series.

Treasures of the Mindlord saw Enyon, the Mindlord of a thousand stars, looking down at Earth with a healthy measure of intrigue. The progress that Earth had already made, at its infant-like age, was enough to convince Enyon that Earthlings were worthy of his galactic federation. However, they would have to prove themselves to be the best of the best. To do this, they would need to be put through their paces in a series of challenging games to determine their calibre.

Therefore, two teams of schoolchildren would be pitted against each other to see who would emerge victorious. With Enyon's subordinate Jana (Kate Newell) acting as a guide, one member of each team would set off into a series of smoky corridors - usually located in industrial settings - to tackle challenges set by the computer Kerna - such as taking on the BBC Micro graphics of the Death Head of Trygon Nebulas - and answering questions set by The Wizard (Jeremy Curry) and the dwarf To-Lar (Mike Edmonds). The fellow team members provided remote guidance from Jana's space pod.

Whichever team had secured the most credits was then sent on a quick quest to find Enyon. Once he had been discovered, Enyon would pose one final question to the team. Get this right and the winning team would not only gain entry to Enyon's federation, but they also would win a personal stereo (which the losing team also received) and £300 for their school to spend on computer equipment.

114. The ChuckleHounds
BBC1
1986

The Chuckle Brothers had been popping up on British television since the late 1960s, but it was during the 1980s that they began to truly cement their name into the schedules. However, the majority of their early appearances in the 80s came with Barry and Paul housed within the dog costumes of the ChuckleHounds. Originally appearing in The Roger the Dog Show in 1983, the ChuckleHounds would be granted a Christmas special in 1984 before a full series, titled The ChuckleHounds, arrived in 1986.

The five minute episodes were silent, save for a musical soundtrack and sound effects, and saw the ChuckleHounds undertaking various activities with chaotic consequences - the episode Chimney Capers sees them attempting to clean a chimney and the rest writes itself. Two series of The ChuckleHounds would air in 1986, but, by 1987, the Chuckle Brothers had ditched the dog costumes for ChuckleVision and the rest was history.

115. Running Scared
BBC1
1986

Created and written by esteemed children's author Bernard Ashley, Running Scared was a gritty children's drama that first aired as part of Children's BBC in 1986. The six episodes, which originally went out on Wednesday afternoons, were produced by Marilyn Fox and received a repeat run in 1988. Running Scared, despite its slot in the children's schedule, certainly didn't pull any punches in its tale of East End gangsters and violence.

Paula Prescott (Julia Millbank) was a girl with heavy problems weighing upon her shoulders. Not only was there the usual teenage issues to worry about, but she also had to contend with the unscrupulous gangster Charlie Elkin (Christopher Ellison). Following an armed robbery, where the getaway car fails, Elkin and his goons are forced to commandeer a taxi belonging to Paula's grandfather (Fred Bryant). The only evidence that Paula's grandfather has of the incident is one half of Elkin's damaged glasses - a piece of evidence that could put Elkin behind bars for a long time.

Paula's grandfather, unfortunately, is not a well man and soon passes away. But, just before he goes, he informs Paula that the location of the glasses can be found in an old music box he leaves her. Elkin, however, is wise to this. And he has an inside route to Paula through her cousin Brian (Simon Adams), who works for Elkin. What follows is a thrilling chase to uncover the secret of the music box and, for Paula and her friend Narinder (Amarjit Dhillon), a race to stay alive.

116. The Telebugs
ITV
1986 - 1987


TVS, courtesy of Telemagination, delivered The Telebugs to Children's ITV in 1986 with the series going on to chalk up 85 episodes over its three series run. The five-minute episodes focussed on three flying robots with televisions for faces: CHIP (Coordinated Hexidecimal Information Processor), SAMANTHA (Solar Activated Micro Automated Non-inTerference Hearing Apparatus) and BUG (Binary Unmanned Gamma camera).

These Telebugs, who were joined by flying camera MIC (Mobile Independent Camera), were designed by Professor Brainstrain and found themselves battling villians who included Angel Brain, Magna, Baron Bullybyte and the Telebug turned evil ZUDO (Zero-failure Universal Data Optimizer). Rather conveniently, given their handy proximity to monitors and cameras, the Telebugs also moonlighted as TV reporters for the local TV channel ran by Mr McStarch. Taking their television credentials even further, a giant 'real-life' SAMANTHA Telebug could be found guesting as an in-vision continuity announcer for Children's ITV.

117. Pie in the Sky
BBC1
1986

Pie in the Sky was a nursery-rhyme based show created by Chloe Ashcroft and Peter Gosling. With Michael Cole on board as producer, Pie in the Sky went on to chalk up 13 episode episodes. Originally airing in the late afternoon Children's BBC slot, episodes were repeated in the lunchtime See-Saw slot for several years.

Down at Universal Pies there was a pie shop – shaped like a giant pie dish – which was home to the Pie Man (David Hargreaves) and Pie Wife (Chloe Ashcroft). Whilst they loved baking pies, they were just as enthusiastic about singing songs. The combination of these tasty pies and melodic songs had made their way into space, where they had been graciously intercepted by the Pie Pilot (Ben Thomas). Back on his home planet of Pie, there were no songs, but with the help of Universal Pies there soon would be.

Hovering above the Earth in his pie ship, the Pie Pilot would request a song-filled pie. Digging into their pastry cutter box, Pie Man and Pie Wife would cut out suitable shapes - such as a 'mouse' and 'clock' cutter for Hickory Dickory Dock - before there was a quick performance of the song via the medium of shadow puppets, glove puppets or even ballroom dancing mice. With the song baked into a pie, it would then be delivered to the Pie Pilot.

118. Sebastian the Incredible Drawing Dog
BBC1
1986


A few week's before he hit the big time in Strike it Lucky, Michael Barrymore could be found tucked away in the Children's BBC schedules as part of Sebastian the Incredible Drawing Dog. Created by cartoonist David Myers, Sebastian the Incredible Drawing Dog featured Barrymore playing himself opposite Sebastian, a well spoken, refined dog puppet (operated by Richard Robinson) clad in a smoking jacket.

Episodes started with Michael larking about (auditioning for The Good, The Bad and The Ugly and demonstrating his prowess with magic are typical examples) much to Sebastian's exasperation. A chance comment would then lead to Michael bringing out the "large and unusual storybook" to tell the viewers a story such as The Barking Cat and Tall Hat Joe. As you can guess from the title of the programmes, Sebastian was a dab hand in the old artistic stakes, so his role during the stories was to create quick sketches to accompany the prose. One series of 13 episodes was produced.

119. Animal Fair
BBC1
1986 - 1988

The BBC hit upon a collection of bite-sized nature documentaries for young children in the shape of Animal Fair. Sharing much in common with the format of Derek Griffiths'Heads and Tails, Animal Fair used stock wildlife footage and set it to a soundtrack of songs by Don Spencer.

Therefore, viewers got to see beavers chewing through trees, crocodiles burying their eggs on the riverbank and, a little closer to home, Gilly the collie chancing his paw at fishing. And there were, of course songs which included odes to marsupials, the tricksy nature of grinning crocodiles and the life of a garden ant. Two series of Animal Fair were produced with episodes airing in both the See-Saw lunchtime slot and the Children's BBC schedule later in the afternoon.

120. Running Loose
ITV
1986 - 1988

The premise of TVS documentary series Running Loose was a classic fish out of water scenario, with inner city children from London were taken to stay in the countryside. The first series found Segun, Sarah, Rodney, Melissa, Yousef, Layla, Tobias and Michelle setting up at Kingsnorth Manor Farm, Kent and exploring their new surroundings.

For the second, and final, series, Melissa and Michelle were joined by newcomers Eldora, Dwayne, Oshioma, Tanya, Selina  and Aaron as they headed up to the Lake District. Episodes across the two series featured the children undertaking new activities aimed at teaching them about not only country ways, but also life skills which included attending horse shows, dealing with conflict and the importance of working hard.

121. Kids Kafe
Channel 4
1986

Yorkshire Television brought cooking for children to Channel 4 in the middle of the 1980s with Kids Kafe, a programme presented by Carol Vorderman. The series' objective was to get young people involved in preparing meals and developing a culinary sense of their own.

Episodes of Kids Kafe found Vorderman overseeing the 'kafe' as the 'kids' made three course meals for other 'kids' - simple when it's explained, right? To keep the youngsters engaged, both in the programme and at home, there was an emphasis on fun with recipes including pineapple igloos, chocolate-dipped bananas, rainbow drinks and macho soup. The eight half-hour episodes of Kids Kafe were broadcast on Sunday afternoons.

122. The Blunders
ITV
1986

FilmFair and Central Television came together in the mid-80s to create The Blunders, an animated offering with Frankie Howerd providing each and every vocal. All 30 episodes, each running to five minutes, ran on consecutive weekday afternoons between April and June in 1986 on Children's ITV.

The Blunders were a family who lived in the town of Villa Shambles and, well, they blundered here, they blundered there, they blundered every bloody where. They were a rather large family and consisted of: Ma Blunder, Pa Blunder, Bobby Blunder, Baby Blunder, Zebra the cat, Trouble the dog and Patch the Bird. Episodes found The Blunders bungling around in a knockabout fashion and generally making life difficult for the other inhabitants of Villa Shambles. Choice plots included causing havoc at the circus, tracing their bumbling ancestors back to the Roman Empire and teaching their dog how to fly.

123. Pinny's House
BBC1
1986

The final entry in Oliver Postgate and Peter Firmin's glorious Smallfilms canon was the little known 1986 animated series Pinny's House. The 13 episodes, which each ran to five minutes, were broadcast as both part of the lunchtime See-Saw slot and the late afternoon Children's BBC schedule. Repeats of these episodes continued up until 1993.

Pinny's House revolved around the adventures of two small dolls: Pinny and Victor. Pinny lived in a delicate, china house up on a mantlepiece whilst Victor, a sailor, lived in a ship next door. The toys were regularly played with by two small children in the forms of Tom and Jo, but when the children were away it was time for Pinny and Victor to embark on a series of adventures.

Being dolls of a particularly tiny nature, the narratives awaiting Pinny and Victor tended to centre around them falling off the mantlepiece or getting swept outside into the harsh environment of the garden. Despite finding themselves at the mercy of a thrush looking to incorporate them into its nest or being sucked up into a vaccum cleaner, Pinny and Victor - reflecting the adaptive struggles of the young audience in an adult world - always managed to get home in one piece.

124. Bill the Minder
ITV
1986

Bill the Minder was a Central Television production which was animated by Bevanfield Films (who also produced the peculiar Murun Buchstansangur) and broadcast as part of Children's ITV. The fifteen episodes - which ran between 5 to 8 minutes - were based upon the 1912 W. Heath Robinson book of the same name and featured narration from a young Peter Chelsom.

After visiting his depressed and obese Uncle Crispin, Bill - a teenage lad - decided that he had to step in. His solution was to build an invention which simultaneously helped his uncle lose weight and regain his verve for picking mushrooms. This invention was a bizarre combination of bicycle parts, old boots and tennis racquets, but it seemed to do the trick. At the same time, Bill also offered to lighten his Aunt and Uncle's load by looking after his cousins Boadicea and Chad.

Traversing the countryside, Bill and his cousins stumbled from one curious character to another. There was an unhappy king desperate to get back to his kingdom, a Sicilian cleaning lady who couldn't stand her employees and a respectable gent who owned a, deep breath, belching green toed button crane of Barraboo. But, with Bill and his cousin's help (and, quite often one of his inventions), these unfortunate individuals would soon have their happiness restored.

125. Stilgoe's On
BBC1
1986

Running for just one series, Stilgoe's On was part of the Children's BBC schedule and found Richard Stilgoe in a studio with a bunch of children, more scissors, glue and string than you could shake a stick at and a Yamaha DX7. Eight episodes of Stilgoe's On were produced, with a repeat run coming in 1987.

The aim of the programme was to give children plenty of ideas as to what they could do if they were stuck inside as a result of feeling ill or terrible British weather. Each episode of Stilgoe's On had a general theme that the activities centred around e.g. magic and having a party. With Stilgoe on board, there was, of course, plenty of time for fiendishly catchy songs (the theme tune itself is remarkable)  and special guests such as The Great Soprendo, Paul 'The Origami Man' Jackson and Ray Alan with Lord Charles.

126. C.A.B
ITV
1986 - 1989

Three series of Thames Television's mysterious, and at times terrifying, series C.A.B aired towards the end of the 1980s on Children's ITV. The first series was written by Denise Coffey, who was rushed in at the last minute when the original writer pulled out, with John Kershaw taking over for the final two series. By the conclusion of the third series, C.A.B had chalked up 33 episodes, yet few people remember it. Centring around the exploits of Colin Freshwater (Felipe Izquierdo) and his sidekick Franny Barnes (Louise Mason), C.A.B was packed full of suspense and supernatural mystery. 

The first series found the C.A.B (named after some Citizen's Advice Bureau initials that Colin spots) agents investigating a peculiar junk shop connected to Tutankhamun's treasure and involved a series of hieroglyphic riddles. The second series moved to The Wooden Kamel, a travel agents which contained an ancient sarcophagus and a trainer wearing policeman lurking upstairs. It was the final series, however, which fully embraced insanity. C.A.B found themselves taking on Eleanor Plantagenet (Judith Paris), a time travelling villain who planned to seize the British Crown with the help of the mythical Queen's Beast.

127. The Dodo Club
ITV
1987 - 89


The Dodo Club was a nature programme for children which found Sue Robbie taking residence at Jersey Zoo and exploring animal conservation - Jersey Zoo, of course, had been set up by the famous conservationist Gerald Durrell.

Episodes found Robbie looking at the problems animals faced from an expanding human population, the near extinction of the pink pigeon and the day-to-day activities of the staff at Jersey Zoo. The second series brought Michael Bassett onto the presenters roster, producing features on a mystery virus which was decimating seal populations and the importance of ringing birds to monitor their life patterns. The Dodo Club was produced by Channel Television with two series and a Christmas special making their way onto the airwaves.

128. It's Wicked!
BBC1
1987

One of the lesser known Saturday morning children's shows, It's Wicked spent just over five months travelling up and down Britain taking in stops at Torquay, Blackpool, Liverpool, Rhyl and London amongst many others. It's Wicked found presenters Jake Abraham, Carolyn Marshall and Cheryl Baker transporting an American diner to all these locations to serve as a base for the episodes.

And, as with all Saturday morning programmes of the era and beyond, visiting the diner would be a gaggle of celebrities and musicians. Those appearing included Sylvester McCoy (recently announced as the new Doctor), Karl Howman, Craig Charles, Rick Astley, Terence Trent D'Arby, The Housemartins and Rupert Everett.

Cheryl Baker was regularly found cooking up food for the guests and also handling snakes from the Welsh Mountain Zoo while Pauline (Alex Lonsdale) the handicraft queen provided comedic craft tips and Cool Jules was a weekly serial looking at a teenage boy failing to be cool. A week after the final episode of It's Wicked! aired, Going Live! made its debut.

129. Swings and Roundabouts
ITV
1987 - 1989

Ulster folk singer Jane Cassidy fronted this ITV Schools series which looked at life in Northern Ireland. Mostly, Swings and Roundabouts aired as a regional opt out from the rest of the ITV Schools schedule, but, just occasionally, it made it into the fully networked schedule.

Cassidy was not alone in presenting the programme and was joined by the mildly terrifying puppet Barney, a foot-high, mute orange ball with moving eyes. Alongside acoustic songs performed by Cassidy, Swings and Roundabouts visited locations all over Northern Ireland (and occasionally in the Republic) to visit the two-million eels living in Lough Neagh, take a tour around County Tyrone's Ulster American Folk Park and see how a Belfast newspaper is produced.

130. Y.E.S.
ITV
1987

With a cast handpicked from Central Television's Junior Television Workshop came Y.E.S., a 1987 drama which ran for one series on Children's ITV. 12 episodes, which were broadcast late on Wednesday afternoons, found their way onto our screens courtesy of David Foster who both produced and directed the series.

The title of Y.E.S. was an acronym which stood for Youth Enquiry Service, an organisation set up by youngsters Terry (Garry Patrick), Zoe (Melanie Reed), Frankie (Amanda Loy-Ellis) and Dave (Richard De Sousa). The purpose of Y.E.S. was to provide helpful advice to young people in a world where adults dismissed their queries and concerns as frivolous.

As well as dispensing advice to their contemporaries, the helpful souls behind Y.E.S. spent their time trying to find a headquarters for their organisation, dealing with a Space Invaders obsession, keeping clear of the sinister Ma Venables (Sandra Voe) and taking action when Angie the babysitter runs away from home.

131. Aliens in the Family
BBC1
1987

Despite being barely remembered, even by those watched it, Aliens in the Family was a curious sci-fi drama adapted from Margaret Mahy's novel of the same name. Aliens in the Family concerned the coming together of two single parents - David (Rob Edwards) and Phillipa (Clare Clifford) - and the children this brought together under one roof: Jake (Sophie Bold), Dora (Claire Wilkie) and Lewis (Sebastian Knapp).

But the programme was about much more than squabbling children. For, high above Earth, the Galgonquan alien Bond (Grant Thatcher) was preparing for his latest assignment, which involved him retrieving his sister Solita (Elizabeth Watkins) who had disguised herself on Earth. The only problem was that the sinister and bloodthirsty Wirdegens were hot on Bond's trail. And Bond had already started to integrate with Jake, Dora and Lewis...

132. Erasmus Microman
ITV
1987 - 1989

Ken Campbell had unsuccessfully auditioned for the role of the seventh Doctor in Doctor Who, but he soon found himself taking on the guise of a galactic time traveller in Erasmus Microman. Two series of Erasmus Microman were produced by Granada Television with episodes going out in the late afternoon Children's ITV roster. 

Determined to wrestle children away from their television screens and open their minds to science, the 1005 year old Erasmus Microman (Ken Campbell) entered the television of siblings Ben (Nick Pickard) and Jane (Thea Redmond). Unable to shift Microman by changing the channel, Ben and Jane reluctantly entered the television set to go on a voyage of scientific discovery where they met Archimedes, Marie Curie and Einstein.

The second series took a slightly different approach and introduced a narrative where the nefarious megalomaniac Doctor Dark (Ken Campbell) was attempting to rid the universe of technology. Teaming up with Spike (Tobias Best), Millie (Naomie Harris) and Tosh (Simone Kennedy) - who he rescued from Doctor Dark's clutches - Microman headed through time again to meet historical figures such as Socrates and Christopher Columbus in order to defeat Doctor Dark.

133. Ratman
BBC1
1987

Following his high profile move from TV-am to the BBC in 1985, Roland Rat was rewarded with two series of Roland Rat - The Series. Following this, he went on to star in a little known series by the name of Ratman, written by David Claridge (who also operated and voiced Roland) and Colin Bostock-Smith. Fifteen episodes of Ratman, running to 10 minutes each, aired as part of the Children's BBC lineup.

Ratman, predictably, was a take on Batman, but one which featured the world's greatest living international megastar in the title role. Based in the Ratcave, deep below Kings Cross station, Roland appeared to be his usual egotistical, wisecracking self. But, at the slightest sign of trouble, Roland would don his superhero outfit, jump in the Ratmobile and fight crime.

Episodes of Ratman found the caped rodent taking on a mysterious gnome smasher, investigating why all the world's supermarket trolleys were running away and proving his innocence when caught robbing a bank. Along the way he would battle fiendish villians such as the gluttonous Fatman (Alexei Sayle), the Fiddler (Bob Todd) and Wombat Woman (Pamela Stephenson). Helping Ratman to save the day were his superhero allies Pink Bucket Man (Kevin the Gerbil), Leekman (Errol the Hamster), Kiltman (Fergie) and Windman (Little Reggie).

134. Panic Station
ITV
1987 - 1988

Written by Lucy Raby and Michael Barfield, Panic Station was a TVS production which consisted of 21 episodes across two series. A delightful mixture of comedy and education, it was a programme with puppets at it core which, despite looking as though they had emerged from the workshop of Spitting Image, were created by Chris Maughan. Episodes were transmitted late in the Children's ITV lineup at 4.50pm.

Panic Station was centred around an underground lab deep beneath the ministry of science. Piers Blister (voiced by Richard Coombs) was the serving Minister for Science - a bumbling, panicking fool who was constantly coming under the scrutiny of his mother Lady Blister (Francis Wright). In this top secret lab, a select team of experts were investigating and exploring a wide range of scientific theories and practices.

Human hosts Terri (Liz Campion), Lavinia Jayne (Daphne Waring) and Lester (Michael Buffong) worked alongside the genius puppet Professor Shackleton (Kevin Bradshaw) and the investigative puppets Frog (Kevin Bradshaw) and Rat (Francis Wright). Feeding back their findings to Piers, the team tackled concepts such as polarised light, internal combustion and lung capacity with a series of experiments and trips out to the Science Museum.

135. Bad Boyes
BBC1
1987 - 1988

Sadly not inspired by the similarly titled early Wham! classic, Bad Boyes still found plenty of room for boyish mischief in this series written by Jim and Duncan Eldridge. Two series, comprising 16 episodes, aired on Children's BBC, were produced by Jeremy Swan, with each series receiving a repeat run.

The series was based around the fortunes of Brian Arthur Derek Boyes (Stephen Kember) and the classic 'mischievous schoolboy' antics he got up to at school. Choice examples of his misdemeanours would include: losing a chicken, trapping teachers in a boiler room, getting into a spot of bother with the French police on a trip to Boulogne and setting up an illegal home for pets. Naturally, he had a tendency to rub people up the wrong way and this was best evidenced whenever teacher Mr Wiggis (Gregory Cox) or traditional school bully Slug (Warren Brian) were involved.

136. The Antics Roadshow
BBC1
1988

This clown-eye's view of Merseyside found the clown Albert Antics (Paul Goddard) travelling around Merseyside in his caravan of curiosity to meet local children who were learning about the area.

Episodes found Albert - and his two assistants Arnold (Mark Reader) and Algernon (Stephen Lloyd) - visiting sites of local interest which included the Large Objects museum, the Woodside Ferry terminal and the Liverpool Maritime museum. The antics of the programme involved Albert and his assistants telling jokes, singing songs and teaching the local children a little more about the local history. The Antics Roadshow aired just once in 1988 with 13 episodes - written by Peter Charlton and Paul Goddard - going out on Children's BBC.

137. Revolting Animals
ITV
1988

Following on from the end of Tales from Fat Tulip's Garden, it didn't take Debbie Gates long to come back with another series of imagination fuelling stories. And this time they would take the guise of Revolting Animals, a programme which was partly set at London Zoo and along Regent's Park Canal. 10 episodes of Revolting Animals aired on Children's ITV with Central Television bringing the series to life.

Unlike the Fat Tulip's narratives, Revolting Animals used storytelling duos rather than a singular narrator. The first batch of stories were performed by Mona Sluggit (Morwenna Banks) and Ted Sluggit (Chris England) with the remaining tales told by Chris Lang and Andy Taylor. Not surprisingly, the stories on offer had animals at their core and were, as with most of Debbie Gates' endeavours, quite, quite surreal. The opening episode involved finding a real life slow loris to complete part of a jigsaw puzzle whilst other adventures included dealing with a zooful of thirsty animals and a scarecrow on the run.

138. PC Pinkerton
BBC1
1988

PC Pinkerton made its debut in the late afternoon strand of Children's BBC with 13 episodes making up the single series. Devised and written by Geoffrey Bourne-Taylor and John Murphy Edwards, PC Pinkerton was produced by Trevor Bond Associates. The 15-minute animated episodes were repeated several times up until 1993.

Based in the village of Cleybourne, PC Pinkerton (Ian Lavender) found himself tackling very low-level crime in his idyllic surroundings. So, rather than preventing heists at the local Post Office, Pinkerton was more likely to find himself battling against the rain whilst out on his bike, searching for a lost child on the day of the all important school play and, most dramatically of all, investigating why Dai the milkman was late. Pinkerton, of course, wasn't the only member of the Cleybourne force and was joined by Sergeant Walker and Inspector Bell to help keep the village in order.

139. Gilbert's Fridge
ITV
1988

Gilbert was a disgusting, snot covered alien who somehow remained completely lovable. And hilarious - it helped that he was voiced and written for by Phil Cornwell. Gilbert first appeared as a presenter on Saturday morning series Get Fresh in 1986, but by 1988 his popularity had ensured that Tyne Tees Television granted him his own series in the form of Gilbert's Fridge.

It was difficult to categorise Gilbert's Fridge, but the high laughter rate of its anarchic 10 episodes was never in doubt. What's Your Problem Chummy? found viewers writing to Gilbert with problems such as their neck being on fire. Sunny Jolly Hols, meanwhile, had Gilbert and Charlotte Hindle undertaking bizarre narratives on holiday in Andalusia including Gilbert taking part in a gunfight with a bandit. And How Far to Hitchin? was a cracking spoof of prisoner of war films.

Pop stars were never far away, either, with Kim Wilde, Wendy James and Aswad all daring to be probed by Gilbert. There was only one series of Gilbert's Fridge but Tyne Tees later found room in their 1990 schedules for Gilbert's Late, a late night comedy chat show.

140. Roland's Rat Race
BBC1
1988 - 1989

Roland Rat hosted this quiz show over the course of two series in the late 1980s, with episodes going out just before Going Live on Saturday mornings. Two sets of teams went head to head in a battle of wits with the objective to score the most miles registered on their mileometer.

Each team consisted of three members: the 'know all', the 'pop fan' and the 'rat fan'. Each team member handled their respective round against their opponent and, keeping with the motoring title of the show, they did this by sliding themselves into a racing car to answer questions.

Teams progressed through a series of heats over several weeks before a grand finale. The second series also had a special co-host (in the final episodes) in the form of Nicholas Parsons. And, also in the final series, there was a serial entitled Dial R for Rodent starring Roland Rat and Kevin the Gerbil as Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson respectively - roles they would later reprise in 1990 for Tales of the Rodent Sherlock Holmes.

141. Kellyvision
ITV
1988

Chris Kelly had straddled children's television during the 1970s with Clapperboard, his comprehensive guide to the world of cinema. And, six years after Clapperboard had finally drawn its curtains, Kelly was back - courtesy of Tyne Tees Television - with Gaz Top to look at the television industry in Kellyvision.

Nine episodes of Kellyvision were produced for Children's ITV, with these despatches on the world of television going out late on Wednesday afternoons. The thrust of Kellyvision was to uncover and understand how television programmes were put together, so there were trips to the Spitting Image set, a detailed investigation of how the graphics of Knightmare were brought to life and the way in which a weekly pop show made it on to our screens was put under the microscope.

142. Coppers and Co!
BBC1
1988

Coppers and Co! was loosely spun off from Lift Off! With Coppers and Co! but was a very different beast. Rather than being a magazine-based format, Coppers and Co! was purely narrative. This sitcom - with the occasional song and dance number - was written by Terry Ravenscroft and consisted of nine 25-minute episodes.

Set primarily in Copper's (David Copperfield) flat, the episodes of Coppers and Co! concerned the lighthearted mishaps of Copper, Tony the Janitor (Antony Howes) and Sally (Sally Dewhurst). Peppered with fantasy and sketch segues, the scripts of Coppers and Co! found the protagonists taking on Mr Humbert (a sweetmaker whose humbugs had been getting smaller and smaller), preparing a paella to music and dealing with Copper's sudden aspirations of becoming an acting legend. The series was repeated once in 1990.

143. News at Twelve
ITV
1988

Described as "part fantasy, part soap-opera and part documentary", News at Twelve was a pleasingly offbeat production from Central Television. Six half-hour episodes of News at Twelve were broadcast on Monday afternoons as part of Children's ITV. The series was produced by Pamela Lonsdale, the woman responsible for creating Rainbow.

News at Twelve found schoolboy Kevin Doyle (Ewan Phillips) using the power of his imagination to transform his bedroom at 13 Tindale Close into a television news studio. The programme parodied news broadcasts and treated the events in Kevin's local area - Biddlecombe - as worthy news stories. Reports covered throughout the episodes included uncovering the cause behind Uncle Norm's diplomatic incident, the death of Kevin's goldfish and investigating the identity of the mysterious Biddlecombe Scrumper. And, just to clarify, the title of News at Twelve referred to the fact that Kevin was twelve years old.

144. The Satellite Show
BBC1
1988 - 1989

Two series of The Satellite Show aired on Children's BBC as the decade came to a close and, fortuitously, just as satellite television was starting to gain traction in Britain. The 26 episodes ran to 30-minutes each and each series ended with a Christmas themed episode.

The first series of The Satellite Show was very much a 'show within a show' concept with the staff of the Big Brain Enterprises (BBE) satellite channel working behind the scenes to get the fictional The Satellite Show on the air. They were usually helped/thwarted by the antics of station owner Mr Big Brain (Robert Harley). Meanwhile, The Satellite Show - when it wasn't being interrupted by Doobie Duck - was hosted by the American puppet CD (who bore an uncanny resemblance to Andy Crane) who introduced music videos, interviews (one episode linked up with the stars of Neighbours), comedy sketches, competitions (Name That Thing) and weekly serial The Thing That Came to Earth.

The second series of The Satellite Show differed slightly in that the 'show within a show' segment was dropped, with the action taking place purely as a live episode of The Satellite Show and its associated features (which remained mostly the same, although there was new serial The Search for the Golden Tap). A whole range of performers featured across the two series including: Gideon Escott, Robert Harley, Caroline Leddy, Carla Mendonca, Nick Wilton, Climie Fisher, Lisa Maxwell and Gary Parker. Neither series of The Satellite Show was repeated.

145. Helping Henry
Channel 4
1988


Particularly offbeat, Helping Henry - written by Chips Hardy and John Henderson - ran for 13 episodes in 1988 and saw Jeremy Hardy voicing an alien named N-3 from deepest, darkest space. And this alien, far from being a little green man, had disguised itself as a dining room chair, N-3's superiors believed that a four-legged object was more advanced than two-legged humans. Teamed up with a young human by the name of Stephen, N-3 (or Henry as Stephen called him, was tasked with finding out more about Earth's curious ways. Episodes found Stephen and Henry investigating topics such as transport, weather and clothes. The quite amazing Henry puppet was created by Spitting Image founders Fluck and Law.

146. Moondial
BBC1
1988


First airing on Children's BBC in 1988, Moondial - adapted from Helen Cresswell's 1987 novel of the same name (Cresswell also penned the TV version) - was a series which contained some of the most chilling moments in the history of British children's television. Six spooky and unsettling episodes were produced, with the original broadcast going out on Wednesday afternoons.

At the centre of Moondial was Minty (Siri Neal), a teenager sent to live with her Aunt Mary (Valerie Lush) following the death of her father. A change of scenery, reasoned Minty's mother (Joanna Dunham), might be exactly what Minty needed. Disaster struck, however, when her mother was involved in a car crash shortly after dropping her off at her aunt's house. Unable to form friendships with any of the local children, Minty found refuge in the beautiful grounds of Belton House where she discovered a mysterious moondial. A moondial which would transport her back and forth through time.

Along her travels in time, Minty would encounter Tom (Tony Sands), a young urchin blighted by TB, and the young, troubled Sarah (Helena Avellano). Due to the presence of a large facial birthmark, which her peers considered to be the mark of the devil, Sarah had been hidden away in the depths of Belton House under the wicked care of Miss Vole (Jacqueline Pearce). Determined to rescue Tom and Sarah from their miserable existences, Minty set about mounting a mission to save them. But the presence, in Minty's modern world, of the enigmatic ghost hunter Miss Raven (Jacqueline Pearce) made this all the more difficult.

147. Stoppit and Tidyup
BBC1
1988

Stoppit and Tidyup was a surreal children’s animation created by Charles Mills and Terry Brain - the duo behind The Trap Door - which first aired in the Children's BBC schedule at 3.50pm on Mondays. The narration for the 13 five-minute episodes was provided by Terry Wogan. Repeats of the single series continued up until 1995.

The land of Do As You’re Told was home to the short, red ball of fluff Stoppit and his good friend Tidyup who was much taller with a purple rotund body, long head and a necktie to complete his look. Within the world of Do As You’re Told, which was packed full of rubbish, giant gherkins and fauna, Stoppit and Tidyup were joined by an array of characters named after instructions frequently shouted at children by parents: BeeHave and BeeQuiet, Don’t Do That, I Said No and Eat Your Greens.

All of these characters communicated in an unintelligible jibber-jabber, hence the need for Terry Wogan's narration. Narratives awaiting the characters included Tidyup catching Naughtypox, I Said No and Not Now stealing everyone’s gherkins and Go To Bed desperately searching for a quiet place to sleep.

148. Tumbledown Farm
ITV
1988 - 1989

Renowned children's author, and animal enthusiast, Dick King-Smith wrote and starred in Tumbledown Farm, a late-1980s Children's ITV series that combined storytelling and a farmyard full of puppets. Two series of 10-minute episodes were broadcast which saw Georgina (Sally Walsh) spending time at the farm owned by her grandfather Farmer Dick (Dick King-Smith).

After chatting with the puppet farmyard animals and machinery - including the Chickabiddies, Fred and Hubert the tractors and Fifi the cat - Georgina would convene with Farmer Dick to hear tales about, for example, Polly the cow's insatiable appetite and the seven lives of Susie the dog. Accompanying Farmer Dick in Tumbledown Farm was Dodo, his real life miniature dachshund.

149. Gumtree
Channel 4
1988

Debbie Gates brought another bonanza of storytelling and creativity to British television with Gumtree, a series very much in the mould of Tales from Fat Tulip’s Garden. But this time, instead of Tony Robinson, it would be Ben Keaton taking on the roles of all the characters. The six episodes of Gumtree aired on Channel 4 at 11am on Sunday mornings.

Gumtree was set in the confines of Gumtree House, a grand building which had been built over a hundred years ago by Mr Rosemary Olivetti Ratchett. However, there was now only one person living there: Professor Pierre McDonald. The professor was eccentric to say the least, having spent 10 years living in a laundry basket on the second floor. Over the course of the series, however, much stranger happenings would occur such as a dog sanding down all the painted surfaces in Gumtree House with its tongue and Oscar Ratchett searching for treasure in the basement.

150. Crush a Grape
ITV
1988

Starting originally as a one-off Christmas special in 1987, a full series of Crush a Grape followed several months later on Children's ITV. The programme was a production by Border Television and, as anyone reading this will know, was inspired by host Stu Francis' famous catchphrase of "Oooh! I could crush a grape!". In total, 16 episodes of Crush a Grape were produced.

Hosted by Stu Francis (along with co-hosts Nikki Ellen and Linda Nolan), Crush a Grape owed a certain debt to the long running Crackerjack in that it boasted quick skills games and gunge. Two teams of children (with a celebrity guest) were involved in low-rent games including grabbing beanbags out of a giant head to answer questions and pulling balloons off the stage's back wall and doing a challenge based on what was behind it. At the end of each show, one of the celebs would take on one of the hosts whilst sat in a gunge tank - fail to get a question right and, well, you can guess the rest.

151. East of the Moon
Channel 4
1988

Produced by Joy Whitby's production company Grasshopper Productions, East of the Moon was a curious programme based on fairy tales written by Terry Jones. These fairy tales, with titles such as The Big Noses, Jack One-Step and The Fly-By-Night, mixed animation and special effects to create an idiosyncratic look and atmosphere. Like all good fairy tales, there were creepy characters such as hobgoblins and witches alongside silly kings and, of course, heroes in the form of children. Linking the action together for East of the Moon's seven episodes was Neil Innes, who provided narration and music. 

152. Gruey
BBC1
1988 - 1989

Gruey was a comedy series, which returned as Gruey Twoey for its second series, written by Martin Riley who was a former teacher. 12 25-minute episodes were produced over Gruey's run with both series - which were filmed in Bolton - getting a repeat airing in the early 90s.

Stephen 'Gruey' Grucock (Kieran O'Brien) was the young scallywag at the centre of Gruey's lighthearted narratives. Getting in the way of Gruey's exploits was his nemesis Nidgey Jackson (Scott Fletcher), the local bully. Gruey, thankfully, had help in the form of his pals Wooly (Danny Collier) and Quidsy (Ayesha Hussain) - by the second series, Quidsy had departed and Gruey had two more friends in Annie (Casey Lee) and Supermouse (Katisha Kenyon). This rabble of youngsters got involved in harebrained schemes and missions such as becoming ice cream salesmen, investigating a dustbin mystery and a spot of matchmaking.

153. The Bubblegum Brigade
ITV
1989

The Bubblegum Brigade, which started life as an episode in the long-running ITV anthology series Dramarama, was a comedy fronted by Bill Oddie - who co-wrote the series with his wife Laura Beaumont. The six 25-minute episodes found William (Bill Oddie) running The Bubblegum Brigade, an organisation whose slogan was "Broken hearts mended while you wait, if you can wait long enough".

Episodes found William working out of his toyshop alongside his young charges who included Jinx (Flora Fenton), Bunny (Michelle Moore), Fuddle (James Hyden) and Alph (Ian Kirkby). Together, with the help of a babbling computer puppet known as WALLI (William’s Absolutely Ludicrous Looking Invention), The Bubblegum Brigade were tasked with tracking down missing pop stars, preventing a German Shepherd's favourite tree being cut down and dealing with a school bully.

154. Chris and Crumble
BBC2
1989

Chris and Crumble was one of the final programmes to be produced for the lunchtime See-Saw schedule. This animated series, by producer Maurice Pooley and animator Tom Bailey, set its sights upon Chris, a young girl who discovered a pink, cuddly mop-like creature under her bed which she named Crumble.

And, just a few episodes into the series, Crumble gave birth to eight baby crumbles. All of these crumbles had an appetite for eating fabrics, a diet which regularly destroyed the contents of Chris' wardrobe. Nonetheless, Chris was keen to have the crumbles around and could be found taking them to beach, displaying them at a local flower show and learning why you should never try to dry Crumble out next to a fire.

155. Bodytalk
BBC1
1989

Wayne "the body talking comedian" Pritchett was at the heart of this peculiar, yet charming Children's BBC programme which aired at the end of the decade. 13 episodes of the lively 'mime variety' Bodytalk were produced by Peter Charlton - who had been working on BBC children's programmes since the early 1970s - with Wayne Pritchett and Nina Tullar writing the series.

Bodytalk was never repeated after its initial airing, but it was far from without merit. The series acted as an exploration of the body, but through the power of mime and music (courtesy of the Bodytalk band). Episodes found Pritchett - dressed in an eye-catching, full-body leotard - looking at a series of subjects which could be expressed through the body. With a collection of primary school children on hand, Pritchett set about showing his young charges how to contort and exaggerate their bodies along themes as diverse as sports, growing old and illusions.

156. Windfalls
ITV
1989

Windfalls possesses what are probably the most unique aesthetics of any show on this list. The series, produced by Central Television and FilmFair, used stop-motion animation to bring dried leaves, seeds and flowers to life. The series was created and written by actress, writer and traditional cooking expert Jenny Kenna who was inspired by her love of flowers and nature. The 26 episodes of the single Windfalls series went out on Friday afternoons on Children's ITV.

Windfalls were the inhabitants of Windfall Land, as narrator Peter Hawkins informed viewers, with the main protagonists of Windfalls including Uncle Onion, Bella Donna, Cornflower and Evening Primrose. The episodes were used to explore the world of nature all around us, so it was common to find the Windfalls investigating rainbow formation, learning about what to do with a dock leaf when you sting yourself and the dangers of deadly nightshade (as demonstrated by the sinister Bella Donna character).

157. Bradley
ITV
1989

Many of the programmes featured in this article have a tendency to make you think "What? That show actually happened?" and Bradley is one of the finest examples of this. Featuring Paul Bradley (yes, that's right, Nigel Bates from EastEnders), Bradley was a six-episode sitcom produced by Granada which went out at 4.20pm on Tuesdays as part of Children's ITV.

The most notable aspect of Bradley was that it featured Bradley (Paul Bradley) regularly in discussion with his own reflection - a being known as Yeldarb with a penchant for cheese and who, in one episode, got fed up of the real Bradley and headed off on holiday (Jim the replacement reflection stood in). Aside from these light bending peculiarities, Bradley ensured that chaos and calamity was never far away. One episode found him getting embroiled in a fun run whilst trying to buy his aunt a birthday present and another saw Bradly inadvertently letting a policeman fall victim to all manner of mishaps. 

158. Jellyneck
ITV
1989

Jellyneck was producer Debbie Gates' final take on the possibilities of creative storytelling and reunited the performers from Revolting Animals. This time around, the two pairs of storytellers were combined to deliver a multi-character extravaganza which was filmed in the countryside around Birmingham. Six episodes of Jellyneck were produced by Central Television.

Albert Albert (Chris England) starred as the everyman character at the forefront of Jellyneck's stories, which were set in a peculiar universe that Albert had the misfortune to regularly stumble into. Awaiting him were characters such as the incredibly irritating Fitter's Mate (Morwenna Banks), the vile Adrian Vickers (Chris Lang) who collected the black bits from under his toenails and Redface (Andy Taylor) a peculiarly red-faced chap with a propensity for shrieking.

If these characters weren't bizzare enough, the narratives they inhabited pushed things even further. Albert Albert found himself being caught up in surreal adventures which involved discovering a new coastline in his bathroom with Count Vasco, a seemingly simple task of delivering a tray of onions to Silas Bogg went awry when the onions come to life and the hunt for Guffard Giggler - a custard obsessed fool - led Albert to the 'kitchen of doom'.

159. Bluebirds
BBC1
1989

Several years before they acted together in EastEnders, Barbara Windsor and Martine McCutcheon could be found opposite other in the 1989 comedy drama Bluebirds. The programme, written by Angela Ince and Shirley Lowe, consisted of six episodes which went out in a 4.35pm slot on Children's BBC.

The Bluebirds were a group of youngsters comprising Mandy (Martine McCutcheon), Jerry (Martino Lazzeri), Granville (Joseph Kpobie), Leroy (Mark De Couteau) and Dave (Alan Dean) who were determined to protect their local community. They were aided and abetted in their ongoing battle with the ne'er do well Robins by adults Mabel (Barbara Windsor) and Gertrude (Isabelle Lucas). Episodes of Bluebirds found the intrepid do-gooders taking on protection rackets, building a garden and tackling local graffiti.

So, yes, that was a rather long list, but it's not an exhaustive catalogue of everything that was transmitted in the 1980s. Therefore, if you can remember any another mystery 1980s shows then let me know in the comments below and I'll try to cover them in the future. And if you have any specific memories about any of the shows above, then I'd love to hear about them!

Back in 1996, as a fledgling teenager, I was flicking through the channels on Sky when I stumbled across (on UK Gold, I think) a little programme called Robin's Nest. It wasn't a series I'd heard of before, I hadn't even heard of the more famous show it was spun off from, Man About the House. But there was something charming, funny and engaging about this series from the late 1970s, and it provided early evidence of my curiosity regarding archive television.

As a result of this early dalliance with Robin's Nest, I've always had a soft spot for all things Richard O'Sullivan. Therefore, as you can imagine, I was pleased as punch to discover that Forces TV are going to start airing his 1991 sitcom Trouble in Mind. It features O'Sullivan playing Adam Charlesworth, a psychiatrist going through a mid-life crisis and was written by Tony Millan, Mike Walling and Colin Bostock-Smith.

It's a series I know very little about, hence the lack of detail above, but one that I've been trying to track down for about 18 months. Thankfully, this unsuccessful endeavour is now at an end and, from Saturday 5th February, I'll finally be able to watch it. And so should you.